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  • #31
    Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
    I also remember a TV commercial for a movie channel that didn't edit the films for younger audiences, and it shows the line-up scene from "The Usual Suspects" and they replace the offending line with "fuzzy sock-sucker"... I have used that on occasion.

    There's also the TV-edit for "Snakes on a Plane"...
    "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!"
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #32
      One question, sir? Why are you wearing a tophat on your thundermug?
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #33
        Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
        There's also the TV-edit for "Snakes on a Plane"...
        ...and the TV-edit for Die Hard With a Vengeance. Best line in that movie occurs when Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson are tied up on the cargo shop. Jackson accuses Willis of being a "racist melon farmer..."
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #34
          The show Firefly used "gorram" for "goddamn" ... and curses in Mandarin Chinese for most other things. Apparently, the Chinese used is more or less legit (they made up the phrases in English first and then had them translated literally)-- and often, a bit foul, even if the actors (who were coached) had varying skill levels when it came to the actual pronunciations.
          Last edited by EricKei; 10-13-2016, 06:32 AM.
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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          • #35
            I've lately become a fan of "BOB SAGET!"
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

            Comment

            • #36
              Quoth protege View Post
              ...and the TV-edit for Die Hard With a Vengeance. Best line in that movie occurs when Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson are tied up on the cargo shop. Jackson accuses Willis of being a "racist melon farmer..."
              Lots of people calling each other "Melon Farmer" in the TV editor of "Repo Man" that I saw years and years ago.

              Better than the TV edit of "The Blues Brothers", which was cut to ribbons and several scenes (especially the one where they see The Penguin) rendered completely incomprehensible.

              I like to use old Warner Brothers cartoon swear words. Cornsarn frammarantin gortin-blattin....
              “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
              One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
              The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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              • #37
                Quoth Nunavut Pants View Post
                Better than the TV edit of "The Blues Brothers", which was cut to ribbons and several scenes (especially the one where they see The Penguin) rendered completely incomprehensible.
                You mean there was something left after the censors got done with it? We've never seen Blues Brothers on broadcast for mainly that reason. One network will air it completely untouched, of course I can't remember which one.

                Fun fact: the first time I saw that movie (late 80s, I think I was still in single digits age-wise) it was unedited....grandma wasn't familiar with the film, but I think her being horrified had more to do with "You're letting her watch movies that aren't rated for kids?"; grandpa was nonplussed "just as long as she doesn't use that language around me; she'll hear it sooner or later anyway".

                We use a few from the TV edits of both Ghostbusters films...

                "Wally Wick": worksafe moniker for P if he's within earshot.
                "Mother puss bucket!": multipurpose
                "Wretched walking worms": SCs
                "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                • #38
                  A lady at work told me a good one the other day.

                  "I got tired of the taste of ass".

                  Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                  "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!"
                  Just as long as you don't meet up with people on a river in the Georgia Wilderness...
                  Last edited by EricKei; 11-08-2016, 12:55 AM. Reason: merged consecutive posts
                  Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                  • #39
                    Sonofa gum-chewing funk monster! (second half is uncensored )
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                    Comment

                    • #40
                      My mom used to always say "God bless a milk cow and all the ships at sea" whenever she wanted to curse. Usually there was much emphasis on God, a pause and then the rest.

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                      • #41
                        In Star Wreck (a Finnish Star Trek parody), Captain Pirk tends to use "mansikka" (strawberries) and "torstai" (Thursday) as swear-word substitutes.

                        Meanwhile, the new indie game "My Summer Car" (popularly known as "Finland Simulator 1995") has a rich selection of *actual* Finnish swearing, being just about all of the player character's available vocabulary. There are three keys on the keyboard dedicated to the function: one for normal swearing, one for rude-gesture swearing, and one for *drunken* swearing.

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                        • #42
                          When I absolutely can't swear, because there is a small child I actually care about or a client in front of me, I generally use 'fruit' instead of fuck.
                          Fruitity Fruit - Fuckity fuck
                          fruiting sugar - fucking shit
                          Fruiting fruit - fucking fuck

                          Or I use swearwords from Farscape. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appen...Farscape_terms
                          Dren - shit
                          Frell - fuck
                          Hezmana - hell
                          Shilznat - fuckwit (aka moron, dumbass, fruitloop)

                          Then again, I'm an Aussie, so I can make anything sound like a swearword. Or an insult.
                          And then use the same words as a term of endearment to friends and family.
                          A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

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