I haven't really talked about this...

[Eireann]

This is just absolutely fucking horrible. It reminds me of my life, not so long ago.

There is one thing I can tell you, and it is this: Do not be surprised by anything you feel. It doesn't matter what it is. You may feel like things are actually going fairly well, and that you have a handle on everything. Then a wave of grief will overwhelm you and drag you down.

There is no one way to grieve; we all do it differently. Grief is a nasty fucker, and it doesn't like to let up.

And, one day, you will feel better. You will get through the day without breaking down. Like most people, you will feel guilty about not thinking about a loved one, not crying over them, not setting everything aside to concentrate on them. There's really no point. I know; I've done it.

These experiences just don't leave us where they find us.

[AccountingDrone]

I am so terribly sorry, this is sucktastic news, and a sucktastic way to find out.

That is more or less what happened last April, Rob and I decided to hit my parents house and visit my brother. We showed up at about noon on Saturday, to discover that about 3 weeks before he went to the doctor for a chest cold that wouldn't let up to discover it was pneumonia. When they did the imaging to see how bad the pneumonia was, they discovered 2 masses in his right lung, so they had him come in to drain the fluid and do a biopsy to figure out what form of tumor it was and the best treatment. So Rob and I did a banzai run home, packed me a seabag of stuff and grabbed my laptop and we headed back as I decided I was going to stay and cook and make sure Danny made all his appointments [he was living on those meal shakes and getting a friend to drive because he was so wiped out he couldn't even manage to cook for himself.] So tuesday morning I get up and Danny asks me to call the ambulance because he couldn't breath. One week later I was arranging his funeral.

Cancer sucks. It can hide then turn into an avalanche.

And then my Mom went and passed Jan 31st ...

PM me if you need to vent, cry on someones shoulder, have someone you can use as a verbal punching bag ...

[Akasa]

Thank you, everyone.

[Victory Sabre]

So sorry for all you're going through. I lost my dad 8 days ago, so I feel your pain.

[Geek King]

Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair when the universe piles it on you. Try to stay strong, and talk to those who are there for you. Sending good thoughts your way, because that all I can do.

[Akasa]

Had a text convo with BFF that started off "I need your SSN, birthday, and city you were born in"

She was at the bank switching over the beneficiary on her life insurance from her dead husband to me.

I don't want to think about life without her!

[AnaKhouri]

I was wondering if this was the same friend who lost her husband and has had tons of medical issues.

We all know life isn't fair, but for some people it seems like it's nothing but UNFAIR. I'm so sorry for your friend, and for you.

[Akasa]

Had THE "talk" with mother the other day.
I went over the opening salvo with my therapist...

"Due to your recent actions I can only assume you are wanting to take a step back from our relationship. So I will take a step back. Give it 30 days and if you want more intimacy you can reach out, otherwise it will be a superficial relationship."

Her initial response?
"I'm your mother?"
"Yes..."
"What actions have I taken?"

Then a bunch of blame shifting, and not taking responsibility, and confirming I'm right to feel this way.

The closest I got to an apology was "I'm sorry you felt left out."

Yeah... 30 days, lets see if she reaches out.

[Akasa]

It's been over 2 weeks and guess who hasn't reached out?

I'm convinced she thinks her blame shifting and excuses fixed things and is rugsweeping. Or trying to. Won't she be surprised when she finds out I was in town and didn't contact her? Didn't stay with her?(or at least that's the plan for May)

[Akasa]

3 weeks and she hasn't reached out.
She's doing a very good job at proving to me I come last.

[raw1989]

Hugs

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs Akasa*

[Akasa]

Tomorrow marks the 30 days...
I think I'm going to continue radio silence, see how long it takes for her to realize I'm silent...
Then I may continue to remain silent.

[raw1989]

I wish people realized that people wont be here forever and wile you maybe mad at them lets get over it and move on. With that being said my MIL and my HUSBAND do not talk.... My mil talks to me then doesn't she is mad about my mom being able to take my kids and us to Disney wile she would like to do that she cant afford it and we understand that my MIL is disabled wile I wish I had the money to pay for her im just making ends meet, so shes mad about that and blocked me but its all good.

[Akasa]

raw, are you telling me to get over it and move on?