You Know You Drive A Junker When...

[dalesys]

When the front passenger door opens on left turns, so your best friend hangs onto the ashtray on the back of the bench seat for dear life...

When there is a large hole in the firewall, so winter cruising requires a sleeping bag over the legs...

... My best friend's '60 Ford Falcon wagon for hauling the gang around.

[greek_jester]

When you brake sharply, then look in the rear-view mirror to see if everyone in the back is OK and only see a line of legs waving in the air as the back seat isn't actually attached to anything.

When your gear-stick comes off in your hand just as your brakes fail on a steep incline while you're waiting in traffic.

When your rear driver's side door won't open from the inside or the outside, and the window is jammed in the up position.

When the vehicle is affectionately nicknamed "the Deathtrap".

Incidentally, these all relate to an old Cortina my mum owned. I was actually quite fond of that car!

[dalesys]

When you have to get your teen son & his buddies to push your VW microbus over the top of the hill to start it.

[Racket_Man]

When you hold a very cracked front plastic bumper to the rest of the car with (not duct tape) but several 4 inch angle brackets on each side of the car metal body.

When you have to rig a "new" inside door release level that broke inside the door by using a 12inch piece of fence tie through a hole drilled in the level panel and using a pair of pliers to pull on that so you can open the door from the inside.

in the same vein my inside truck release lever rusted shut so I had to cut the cable, remove some of the outside casing and again using a pair of pliers to pull the cable to open my trunk.

[notalwaysright]

When you only have one working light in the whole interior of the car. It was on the top middle of the speedometer, so I could only see how fast I was going if I was going between about 40-60 other than that I had no idea if I was driving at night.

I... I have to do that with my brand new Nissan Micra...

Oh no! I only had to do that with my old car, and it was because the seals around the windows were failing. Is it just very humid where you are? Actually, it's humid here and I don't have to scrape the inside anymore. :/

[protege]

When you can watch the road flying by under your feet.

Dad's '79 Volvo sedan was like that. He Filled the hole with spray-on expandable foam. Same car, more "you know you drive a shitbox when..."

...your exhaust is made of coffee cans and coat hangers.
...you cannot open the driver's door from the inside.
...the primary color of the car is "Bondo."
...you have to use a bungee cord to hold the trunk lid down.
...it can wither a rainforest at 50 paces.

Then there was the '88 Taurus that came later, also a junker...

...the primary color of the car is "rust."
...the headlight is held in with tape.
...the car tends to "hop" over bumps, because the rear springs are broken.
...the car smells like a refinery, due to the entire top of the gas tank being gone.
...you have to use a flashlight to see the gauges at night.

[Food Lady]

All of this makes me grateful for my own car!

[dalesys]

When you can watch the road flying by under your feet. (The Corvair my mother borrowed from a member of our bishopric, Brother Pope (Arnold).)

[Aria]

When you scrape both the inside and outside of your windshield.

I... I have to do that with my brand new Nissan Micra...

[Javarod]

Ummm, when it breaks in half... Yes, that really happened to me.

[KuariKaydrith]

When using a bungee cord to hold your hood/bonnet down.

Ditto for your trunk.

[greek_jester]

When your handbrake is leaving the car in gear to avoid rolling up/down the hill.

Or: when your handbrake is leaving a couple of breeze blocks behind the wheels.

[dalesys]

..you are driving and a rusted piece of something falls off the back...

... and it's the gas tank ... (Yep. A '61 Fairlane 2-speed automatic in a blizzard)

[drunkenwildmage]

When your horn consists of you rolling down the window and yelling 'Beep!!'

When the one of the local demolition derby\bomber drivers tells you to call them when you are thinking about getting rid of the car.

When reverse is opening up the drivers door, and pushing the car backwards with your foot.

[mjr]

When your quarter panels are different colors than the rest of the car.

When your car has no front/rear bumper.

When you have a "window" that is plastic and duct tape. Same for a brake light.