You Know You Drive A Junker When...

[It shouldn't]

... and it's the gas tank ... (Yep. A '61 Fairlane 2-speed automatic in a blizzard)

Dude, that happened to me. Thankfully I was already slowed for a stop sign and the muffler was still supporting the gas tank enough while dragging on the ground, so I could pull into a parking lot and call tow truck.

Imagine my call to boss that morning.
Uhm, I'm going to be a bit late. Seems I lost my gas tank."
Boss:

[Blue Ginger]

...if the speaker at the McDonald's drive-through sounds better than the ones in your car...you know you drive a junker

My speakers only sound ok when the car is moving. Dad refuses to replace them again (I have no clue how) because at this point I have blown 3 sets of speakers. It's not my fault though, Deep Purple and AC/DC should not be played softly.

When you haven't started the car for almost 2 weeks and you end up needing roadside assist to jumpstart you. Then have the repair guy look at the battery, wipe away some dust and double check the install date again. Battery was new way back in 2010. Repair guy was shocked it lasted that long. But my baby is a 1991 Corolla, the only things that need power are the alarm and digital clock.

[Food Lady]

....when someone else's car is making a weird sound and you think it's yours.

[Mental_Mouse]

A friend of mine used to race his car with a local club. On the entry form, you are supposed to put what color your car is, in part so they can identify you out on the track.

He filled out "Color: No".

I saw one of those yesterday -- it looked like bare metal, with ample stippling of rust.

[taxguykarl]

...if you tell the gas station attendant to "fill it with oil, and check the gas..."

My cousin had one like that in his teens. The punchline: he took that junker on a cross-country move due to a custody decree change.

[Nunavut Pants]

... put down whatever color you like I'll agree.

A friend of mine used to race his car with a local club. On the entry form, you are supposed to put what color your car is, in part so they can identify you out on the track.

He filled out "Color: No".

(His car used to be Petrel Blue, a wonderful blue-green metallic color. But decades of sun exposure and lack of care completely trashed the paint.)

[protege]

...if the speaker at the McDonald's drive-through sounds better than the ones in your car...you know you drive a junker

...if your insurance company pays you to keep it off the road, you know you drive a junker...
...if its mere existence brings down property values in the entire county...
...if you tell the gas station attendant to "fill it with oil, and check the gas..."

[Rosco the Iroc]

True story, got pulled over for what ever, cop asked what color the car was, it was faded somewhere between gray/blue/green? I said put down whatever color you like I'll agree.

[csquared]

When you read the "You know you drive a junker" thread and think. "I need to go start that thing and see if it still runs."

[notalwaysright]

Do you think you could mention the flat to them without them getting totally offended? It's a safety issue and I'm worried about them. Sometimes people don't notice stuff like that. But of course there's the possibility they have and can't afford to fix it or don't care.

*sigh* I found out they bought another car, an older SUV, which is now parked next to the old junker car with the flat tire. That's why it hasn't moved. So annoying! We just got a different car towed since it hadn't moved in months, and now immediately we get another car that's not going to move? Nobody claimed the other car (had Canadian plates) but we all know who this one belongs to. I hope they have plans to get rid of it, I have to talk to the property manager about my dishwasher anyway so I'll bring it up.

We don't have permit parking or assigned spots, I'd have to get out the lease to see how long a person has to deal this this sort of thing.

[Rosco the Iroc]

When the panhandler at the end of the exit ramp doesn't wipe your windows because he doesn't want to be near that nasty car
-or-
hands YOU money

[Deserted]

When you have the vehicle in the shop every day for a week for the same problem. (Bad a/c here. Current guess is bad compressor. Nothing like no a/c in 105+-degree heat.)

Going back to the shop today. When the fix doesn't "stick", it could be a junker.

[Food Lady]

I just noticed one of the rear tires is currently flat. They do drive this thing, I hope they notice the flat.

Do you think you could mention the flat to them without them getting totally offended? It's a safety issue and I'm worried about them. Sometimes people don't notice stuff like that. But of course there's the possibility they have and can't afford to fix it or don't care.

[Tanasi]

When your car doesn't show up on radar because it's more bondo then metal.

When you drag race they use a sun dial instead of an stop watch.

You're 0 to 60 time is conducted with a calendar.

[notalwaysright]

One of my neighbor's cars is such a junker. Just a few things I can see from the outside... One headlight is held on by duct tape, lots of it, and the edges of the tape flutter in the wind. Every visible part of it is damaged. It has multiple dents in the doors on both sides, and part of the front bumper has been ripped off. The rear bumper has many scrapes, which are white, while the rest of the car is tan. (Except for the rust around the dents.) The plastic part of the side mirrors have large broken bits which are missing and/or fallen off. I just noticed one of the rear tires is currently flat. They do drive this thing, I hope they notice the flat. Oh, and it's an older model Nissan Altima.

They park next to me. Even though I can't remember the last time I washed my car and it's covered in pollen, it looks great when compared.