You Know You Drive A Junker When...

[notalwaysright]

When you only have one working light in the whole interior of the car. It was on the top middle of the speedometer, so I could only see how fast I was going if I was going between about 40-60 other than that I had no idea if I was driving at night.

I... I have to do that with my brand new Nissan Micra...

Oh no! I only had to do that with my old car, and it was because the seals around the windows were failing. Is it just very humid where you are? Actually, it's humid here and I don't have to scrape the inside anymore. :/

[Racket_Man]

When you hold a very cracked front plastic bumper to the rest of the car with (not duct tape) but several 4 inch angle brackets on each side of the car metal body.

When you have to rig a "new" inside door release level that broke inside the door by using a 12inch piece of fence tie through a hole drilled in the level panel and using a pair of pliers to pull on that so you can open the door from the inside.

in the same vein my inside truck release lever rusted shut so I had to cut the cable, remove some of the outside casing and again using a pair of pliers to pull the cable to open my trunk.

[dalesys]

When you have to get your teen son & his buddies to push your VW microbus over the top of the hill to start it.

[greek_jester]

When you brake sharply, then look in the rear-view mirror to see if everyone in the back is OK and only see a line of legs waving in the air as the back seat isn't actually attached to anything.

When your gear-stick comes off in your hand just as your brakes fail on a steep incline while you're waiting in traffic.

When your rear driver's side door won't open from the inside or the outside, and the window is jammed in the up position.

When the vehicle is affectionately nicknamed "the Deathtrap".

Incidentally, these all relate to an old Cortina my mum owned. I was actually quite fond of that car!

[dalesys]

When the front passenger door opens on left turns, so your best friend hangs onto the ashtray on the back of the bench seat for dear life...

When there is a large hole in the firewall, so winter cruising requires a sleeping bag over the legs...

... My best friend's '60 Ford Falcon wagon for hauling the gang around.

[drunkenwildmage]

When you push in the Cigarette lighter and the dome light comes on.

[taxguykarl]

the dome light comes on.

and never goes off.

[Bandit]

When you don't have any space in the trunk for luggage because it's filled with at least one bottle of every fluid the car uses....

[csquared]

When you have to add two quarts of oil just to get it to the dealership to trade it in.

Then you stall the negotiations so that the engine can cool down before they take it for a test drive.

[Ironclad Alibi]

You have to check your gas level with a dipstick.

[protege]

...when there's the bottom of a bean can being used as a repair panel.

Seriously, I had some crackhead try to force my trunk open some years ago. He failed, but succeeded in ripping the latch staple out of the panel it was bolted to. Over repeated opening/closing the lid, the staple eventually came out...causing the lid to bounce all over the place. Only thing holding it somewhat closed, were the wires for the light switch. Dealership wanted a grand to fix it, so I told them what they could do with themselves. Since I had the bean can sitting in the trash, I thought "why not." Drilled a few holes, bolted it into place, covered the bare metal with some cheap purple spray paint, etc. and drove around a bit before I could do it properly. This time, I used a square cut from a stop sign

[Ironclad Alibi]

...This time, I used a square cut from a stop sign

I always wondered how that stop sign acquired that square hole.

You might drive a junker if no two body panels are the same color.

[dendawg]

Relevant songs for this thread:

https://youtu.be/aeZ0BUc3kMw?t=54s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBl91FfyO7A

[Ironclad Alibi]

And here is another relevant song:

Classified

[drunkenwildmage]

You Know You Drive A Junker When...


....You know the exact spot on your dashnboard to hit with your fist to get the heater fan to come on.


(Sadly, this isn't a junker it's a 2013 with less then 40k miles)