Roommmates are FUN! (Or, "What Did I Do to Deserve This?")

[One-Fang]

Sigh. A not unsurprising ending, really.

As I think virtually everyone in this thread said, you gave far too much leeway. I know you thought the kid had some good points, but take this learning opportunity and use it to become a more evil man against others in future.

MM had shown, early enough in this thread, that he never had any intention of paying you anything. If you get another like that one day, don't wait so long.

So ... his stuff ... did he sign anything saying you can have it? I can just see him suing you for selling his gear.

[Jester]

I may actually have to have it professionally cleaned after I get everything out of there. There is stuff that is potentially sellable, though.

And I don't want everything being tossed, like my dishes that have been missing and what not.

An online friend of mine, when told that I tossed MM's ass yesterday, asked me, "What about the money?"

My response: "HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Yeah, right.

[Kiwi]

And now I get to spend the week cleaning, not my own stuff in my own room (which needs a good going over, frankly), but someone else's revolting, disgusting, filthy mess.

Hire a professional to do it and then tack that on to the court case

[Jester]

Update (or, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished)

So before I left for Phoenix, MM was supposed to have $500 on the table for me, minimum. For the month, he had so far gotten me $250 of the approximate $800 which was his minimum to get me (rent plus bills). When it was not on the table Saturday morning as it should have been had he put it there Friday night, I started to get annoyed. I had a lot of shit to do, and was driving out of Key West up to Fort Lauderdale late Saturday night to make my stupidly early Sunday morning flight.

So, knowing where he was playing Saturday night, I went to pay him a visit. He apologized, yada yada, handed me $30 ("Are you fucking serious?!?!?"), and swore up and down he would get $800 the next day to my friend Frank to put in my bank account, as we had arranged. And he would put even more money that he owed me in said account while I was away.

Anyone want to guess how much money he got into my account while I was on vacation? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Well, if you guessed one cent more than "not a fucking cent," you would be wrong. So, while my vacation absolutely rocked, I definitely built up a good head of steam on my way back to town. So much so that I was livid when I got back here last Monday night, and my friend Little Red had to take me out to dinner and for some drinks to calm me down.

Needless to say I tore MM a new asshole, explained to him that the only reason my knives were not already sticking out of him was because I didn't want to go to jail for his dumb ass, and told him "You need to clean that fucking room, because I am going to have people who are actually going to pay rent coming to look at it, and that is disgusting. You can be a pig when you pay rent. When you don't, you need to fucking clean it." The very next day I woke his ass up and marched him down to the complex's front office so that HE could explain to them exactly why it was that I did not have the full rent for them at that time. I did tell them that MM would be departing, and I would be busting my ass to come up with the difference. Luckily for me and my other roommate, I have a good reputation and rapport with the folks in the front office.

Several days later, not much cleaning action on his part. Now, you may ask why I did not immediately throw him into the street. Why? I wanted a few things from him. I wanted him to clean the room--which he didn't. Not a surprise there. I also wanted to draw up an I.O.U. type document and have him sign it, and have it notarized, so if/when I take the dipshit to court, he has not a leg to stand on. Which is just what I did. Not only did he not refuse to sign it (I probably would have), he actually reached over to add the amount of the cost of the notary to it after it had been notarized. Um, no, you can't change it after the fact, though I appreciate your gesture at increasing the amount you admit to owing me, even though you have made no effort to actually pay it. Thanks, but I am going to keep a separate tally for any other expenses may come along, like that Gatorade you fucking stole from me the other day (five bottles, thank you very much); I just want an official record of the larger amount.

So, with document in hand, I enlisted the help of my friend Photo Dude, who came over yesterday (we were later joined by his girlfriend) for a fun day of drinking beer, eating pizza, playing Monopoly and Jenga.....and tossing Music Man out on his ass.

I started by walking into his room where he was still asleep in this fucking pigsty (my room is not neat by any stretch, but it is not disgustingly filthy either), with a big old stock pot and a metal can opener, and beating the pot like a ridiculously loud drum to wake his ass up. (I would have used an air horn, which would have been hilariously fun, but I did not want to wake up my good roommate, Mr. Anti-Social, who is very nocturnal.) "Wake up, dude! We need to talk!"

Did I mention that I had not told MM that this was going to be the day he was leaving up this point? No? Well, I didn't. He knew it was coming, certainly, he just didn't know when.

So once he was finally awake, he came into the living room where PD and I are lounging, drinking beer. "Dude, what happened to the five bottles of Gatorade that were on the fridge?" He took them, of course. Said he would replace them that very night. He didn't, of course. Also promised me $100 that very night. I have yet to see it. "That's all well and good, pal, but today is Moving Day. We can no longer trust you, as you have proven yourself to not only be a deadbeat, but a thief as well." Before the Gatorade, various bottles of juice and beer would disappear, either not to be replaced or to be replaced by something far inferior. Also, someone stole $300 off of Mr. Anti-Social's desk a while back. MM claims it was one of his dirtbag friends who has since left town, but I am starting to wonder if maybe it was MM himself....and I voiced that very suspicion to him.

"Because of this, and the fact that you have clearly made no effort to get me any damn money, AND the fact that you have had a fucking week to clean that room and have not done so, you are leaving. Today. Give me your key. Get out."

He wondered if he had till midnight last night, as he had a gig at 8:30. Well, if you have a gig at 8:30, doesn't really matter if I give you till 8 or midnight, does it? No? Didn't think so.

So, he made some show of packing up shit. And eventually (during the third game of Monopoly, when PD's girlfriend was kicking both our asses....again) MM left for his gig. Leaving behind boxes of stuff, like DVD's, clothes, a guitar, etc. Said he would be back later that night or this morning to finish up. Asked if he could stay one more night here. "Absolutely NOT."

So, here we are today. Though I got his key, I still got the locks changed, as I am not taking chances. I have his signed I.O.U. I have a disgusting room I am going to have spend the week cleaning, and trying to sell off some of the stuff. I am going to be making a posting on Craigslist for some of the nicer stuff, including a car bass speaker he gave me (I told him that whatever I get it for it, good or bad, is the amount coming off his debt to me), a guitar, DVD's, an amp, etc.

And in the room are various things we've been missing. Pots and pans and dishes he swore up and down he didn't have. This place is disgusting. So I am pulling my hair out today not dealing with it, and then the rest of the week is going to be me working at The Bar during the day and gloving up and getting grossed out cleaning his shit at night. Fun. Fucking. Shit.

Good news is I think I have already found a new roommate, a workaholic in his late 30's that seems to fit right into the idea of "party at the bars, come home to a quiet place" that Mr. Anti-Social and I subscribe to. He has no problem with the idea of a one month's rent deposit (which I am insisting on from any new roommate), and as long as he passes the criminal background check that the complex is running on him, he should be ready to move in later this month, once he's finished a project he's working on and I've finished fumigating the room.

Once I've dealt with the room, I will look into the possibility of taking Music Man to court. He pointed out to me when I raised the idea that he has no major assets. I pointed out to him that that doesn't matter, that the court will (hopefully) mandate he make certain payments to me (or actually, to the court, and they would pay me), and if he doesn't, well, hey, he can go to fucking jail. How do ya like THAT gig, buddy boy?

I still kind of feel bad for Music Man. He is a nice kid, and I am sure he didn't mean to get this deep in debt to me. But my sympathy is limited, as he lied to me even after I told him to just communicate with me; he stole from me and Mr. Anti-Social; he strung me along; he made the room I rented him completely revolting, and now I am stuck cleaning it, because I have not heard a word from him (and I work in two hours), and frankly, nice kid or not, he owes me a stupid amount of money and has caused me a ridiculous amount of headaches.

So, yeah. I got taken. Great. Just great. And now I get to spend the week cleaning, not my own stuff in my own room (which needs a good going over, frankly), but someone else's revolting, disgusting, filthy mess.

It's a good thing I don't own a fucking gun.

[Jester]

I love ya, of course and I want you to get your money - but dayyummm do I love these stories.

Some guys are HOT when they rant.

Hey, hope you get to actually meet some of those guys, wherever and whoever they are.

As for me, I hope this situation has a happy ending. You'll still get rants from me, of course....just on different subjects. Which, naturally, is the way I would prefer it.

[Peppergirl]

In the case of 1, well, that is the end of the story, and a happy ending for all (except those who for their own sick and twisted purposes like to see me rant).

I love ya, of course and I want you to get your money - but dayyummm do I love these stories.

Some guys are HOT when they rant.

[Jester]

Heck, I'm just pleased you aren't chewing me a new one for posting that.

To quote Lee Corso, "Not so fast, my friend."

See, I was at work today, feeling rather miserable (my body is fighting some annoying congestion/coughing bug), and during the slower moments, your words kept coming back to me. And frankly, I got irritated by what you said.

Relax, put that shield down. Let's go through my options together.

In the current situation, there are three possibilities. 1. MM gets his shit together, makes his require payments, and within an acceptable period, pays me back the back money. And he gets to keep his home. 2. MM doesn't get his shit together, pays me back a pittance, and I have to throw him out. 3. MM is yanking my chain and has merely thrown me a couple of bones, but is merely buying time until he finds a new place and is stringing me along while he stalls to do this. And I end up throwing him out.

In the case of 1, well, that is the end of the story, and a happy ending for all (except those who for their own sick and twisted purposes like to see me rant).

In the case of 2 or 3, well, what are my further options?

1. I can let him go, do nothing, and never see my money again.
2. I can beat the living crap out of him, leaving him bloody, bruised, scared shitless, and perhaps pressing charges.
3. I can carry through on my threat to make his life miserable and put his reputation in the toilet.

Let's look at these possibilities. 1, however much it may be the higher road, is NOT going to happen. I am not going to be taken advantage of for a significant amount of money and just let it go because "I am the better man." I AM the better man. Doesn't mean I'm a sucker that can be walked on. As for 2, while I am not one to shy away from violence where necessary or absolutely called for, I am one who is leery of doing jail time. And that leaves 3, at least the way I see it.

Look, I don't want it to come to that. But the fact that that threat is out there, stated clearly to MM, is a factor in this whole equation. The fact that he believes I am sincere in this threat and that I would very much carry through with it is also a factor. And the fact that he believes I am capable of succeeding in such an endeavor, that too is a factor. I am not known for making idle threats. And if a threat is not idle, that means you have to be willing to follow through if necessary. As they say, you don't pull a gun on someone unless you are willing to use it.

Does that make me a whiney braggart with delusions of my own importance in my town?

It just means I am willing to admit to being both willing and able to do things that not everyone is comfortable with, and that I make no apologies for that darker side of my makeup. It means that I am simply straightforward and don't waste my or anyone else's time with BS.

Yeah, I had some time at work to think about this.

[One-Fang]

Heck, I'm just pleased you aren't chewing me a new one for posting that.

I recognise the anger in the situation, and that's part of that whole PFB-whiner type effect.

The fact that he gave you *some* money is a good start. That's what bugged me about you giving him more chances all the time. If he had at least presented as if he were trying, in some small part, even a little bit here and there, it wouldn't look quite so like he was merrily taking you for a ride. Now that he has presented *something*, it helps with suggesting he's actually serious about paying the lot off, eventually.

[Jester]

Even if you are so monumentally powerful in your (obviously very small) town that you can disrupt this guy's opportunities to rent anywhere else in town, it doesn't reflect well upon yourself to brag about it.

I don't mean to come across as bragging. Really. I was just relating what my roommate knows and what would happen. If people here take it as bragging, so be it. But I am not trying to make myself out like some "if you piss me off I will take you down" asshole. I was merely saying that if this dude dicks me over, I will make it my personal mission to make sure it is rather difficult (nothing is impossible) for him to get a new place. Look, I don't know all 28,000 people in KW. Hell, more people know me than I know them. (As in, "Hi, Jester." "Who was that?" "I don't know." That kind of thing.) But we move in enough of the same circles that if it gets out to more than just my close circle of friends that the dude is a deadbeat, well, good luck finding a room.

I am not monumentally powerful, nor have I ever claimed or pretended to be. I AM well-known, enjoy some popularity, and have a good reputation among those who know me. Nothing more. And oftentimes, you don't need more than that.

If I came off as a puffed up asshole, my apologies. It was never my intent. Keep in mind, this guy is in to me for a decent amount, so I WAS rather pissed off when writing much of this.

I got my temper from my father. My father can make anyone look like a purring kitten no matter how angry they are. That's a guarantee.

Point noted.

[Megg]

Jester, you live in FL, right? When did my ex-deadbeat move in with you?!?! If it really is him, save yourself the trouble and kick him out now.

Good luck, you may need it. Jail is not a fun place to be, so if you have to kill him, dispose of the evidence well.

[Mr. Rager!]

Anyone who has doesn't want to see me horribly pissed either. But that is not because they have seen me get violent. Very few people have. But few who have seen me pissed doubt my ability to be violent. (I have made more than one teenage boy dating one of my nieces need to check his shorts after a very polite conversation.) Also, even fewer doubt my absolute ability to be the most vindictive bastard on the planet and make things very, very bad for them in a myriad of ways.

I got my temper from my father. My father can make anyone look like a purring kitten no matter how angry they are. That's a guarantee.

[One-Fang]

Jester, I don't know your town, I don't know your people, but you're coming across very much as a PFB whiner "I'll tell all my friends not to shop there and you'll go out of business because I'm so powerful!"

Even if you are so monumentally powerful in your (obviously very small) town that you can disrupt this guy's opportunities to rent anywhere else in town, it doesn't reflect well upon yourself to brag about it.

Just some "simple, straightforward, no BS advice".

[Jester]

You have a lot more patience than me. MM would be long gone if it were my call. You mean he does nothing around the residence?!

Well, yes and no. He has been a bit of a lazy tool regarding the kitchen, but then again, so have myself and Mr. Anti-Social. We are three bachelors living in an apartment, and while not everything fits the stereotype, some things do. Like, say, the laziness, the allowing dishes to stack up, and allowing the garbage to pile up, with none of us lifting a finger to change the situation until it's getting silly. So has he done little around the residence? Yes. But so have we. To his credit, when I told him he WOULD be cleaning the kitchen, that very night damn it, he did...better than I would have imagined.

I have to ask though... is the amount of money that he owes you something he can realistically come up with and continue to pay his share at the same time? I know It's not cheap to live where you live, so I can guess it's probably not just a couple hundred bucks we're talking about.

Realistically, can he come up with the full back amount within the month? Probably not.
Realistically, if I am a patient guy, and work with him, can he come up with the full back amount within a reasonable time? Yes.
Realistically, can he pay me back enough of the back amount plus his current share to ennable the trip to Phoenix? Yes.

This is where I give a little update. We sat down today and talked about a few things. I told him some things that were not negotiable. Specifically, that the April bills and the May rent need to be paid on time, and he needed to make a concerted effort, not just through music gigs, to work his ass off to get me paid off. If he did not do this, if he bailed on me, if he didn't meet his deadlines, and/or if this shit costs me the Phoenix trip, he has reached the end of the road, and I will toss him and his shit into the street, dumpster, whatever....and he will STILL owe me the money in question. AND that I will collect. I also made it clear that if that happened, I would make it a personal mission of mine to let everyone know that he was a deadbeat fuckwad who couldn't and/or wouldn't pay his shit on time, and renting any part of a domicile to him was like throwing money into the harbor. He knows my penchant for vindictiveness, he knows how many people on this island I know, and how many people many of those people know, and knows that threat is not an idle one. And remember, this is a small town where word gets around quickly, and I am not only well-known, but generally do enjoy a good reputation for honesty, even from those who are, shall we say, not overly fond of me.

I can see how he is being allowed a very big chance to set things right. I hope he sees it too...

I do believe he does. I pride myself on (usually) being able to read people pretty well (not counting romance--that's different!), and he seems to me to be genuinely contrite and genuinely trying.

One example is the aforementioned cleaned kitchen.
Another is that, despite not having many gigs, he put his ass in gear and went out and find various jobs, projects, ways to make money, etc. He knows (since I made it abundantly clear) that he gets no more second chances.
A third is this: I mentioned that if I were one to take advantage, I would make him clean the bathroom that I share with Mr. Anti-Social, aka "The Swamp." While several of my friends think I should do just that, I think it is unfair due to the fact that Music Man doesn't use that bathroom. Well, tonight during our discussion, I mentioned this as the joke I view it to be, and he said he had actually thought about doing just that, just to prove he was serious about all this. Anyone who thinks he was yanking my chain is entitled to their opinion, but they didn't see the sincerity I saw....and they haven't seen The Swamp.
And finally, he actually gave me some money tonight. Not a lot ($50), but a start. And I told him that THAT money is going towards The Debt, but from this point forward, money he gives me will go towards April bills and May rent, and anything beyond that will once again be applied to The Debt.

Apparently our tempers are very different. I guess no one really wants to see me horribly pissed.

Anyone who has doesn't want to see me horribly pissed either. But that is not because they have seen me get violent. Very few people have. But few who have seen me pissed doubt my ability to be violent. (I have made more than one teenage boy dating one of my nieces need to check his shorts after a very polite conversation.) Also, even fewer doubt my absolute ability to be the most vindictive bastard on the planet and make things very, very bad for them in a myriad of ways.

Anyway, I hope everything works out and you can still go to Phoenix.

I hope you get to go to Phoenix too. You seem really excited about it. Going home is fun stuff.

I hope so, too. Frankly, all things considered, so does my roommate!

[Mr. Rager!]

Boxer's fracture? You do know that walls don't move, right? That sucks, I'm sorry. Take it easy with your busted up paw.

I'm a second degree black belt. I was hoping it would at least give a little. I looked at the wood on the side of the house, it did crack.

[mandaliz8704]

Boxer's fracture? You do know that walls don't move, right? That sucks, I'm sorry. Take it easy with your busted up paw.