I did a bad, bad, thing

[Cia]

I think you're ok for now, but don't contact him again.

Does he realize you could have his butt thrown in jail for not paying child support?

Sorry but that's funny. My co-worker's ex:
- refuses to pay child support and even wants what he's supposed to pay lowered
- supposedly works yet his boss "refuses" to comply with the child support paperwork from the State
- has at least one other child w/ a woman who kicked him out - doesn't pay for that one either - and now the woman has decided she can't live w/o him and wants him back
- has been kicked out of a southern State
- isn't allowed back into this State upon pain of jailtime yet comes and goes from here as he pleases
- his parole officer says if he doesn't have a job, doesn't pay his child support and doesn't catch up on his arrears he will be sent to jail
- is still free and roaming

[Jester]

TTAZ,

1. Take a deep breath. Relax. Let the tension go from your body. Let your shoulders drop. Take a deeper breath. Hold it. Release. Relax.

2. Write down all that you are feeling about this situation, no matter how emotional it is. Bring this with you to whoever from the State will be handling your situation. Allow them, and them only, to see this. Then have them put the appropriate parts in legalese for the paperwork.

3. Official legalese type paperwork should be the only method of communication between yourself and Dipshit. And not originating from you, but from the person handling your case. As in, "Mr. Dipshit, in regards to your parental responsibilities in relation to Nelson Superbaby," blah blah blah. You get the idea.

4. Do not answer his calls, read his emails, or let him worm his way into your heart in any way. He is manipulative and is trying to get you to feel sorry for him, but he has proven by his actions that he does not deserve your pity, understanding, or even acknowledgement.

5. Relax. See #1.


Now, for those of you thinking that this is a lot for me to assume as an online stranger, understand that TTAZ and I talk frequently via messenger, and I am intimately familiar with the whole situation. So I have no problem making the above blanket statements, which I might not normally make were I less well-acquainted with the situation.

- has been kicked out of a southern State

It's pretty bad when you get kicked out of an entire State!! Hell, I feel bad enough when I get asked to leave a bar!

[TTAZ]

Today's the day. I'm heading off to the Child Support Enforcement office today, armed with all the information on WasteOfSkin's past work (spotty as it is) that shows his earning potential.

From what I understand the way it works is I go fill out the app today, and get an appointment, which I hope will be sooner rather than later. At that appointment I bring them all the information I can to establish Nelson's paternity (no issue ther) and expenses, etc. It sucks that I'll have to use my own dime to file for back support (over $100 I don't have) but if I can get the immediate future settled, that should give me some breathing room to work on that for later. His ex-wife has offered me any support I might need such as affidavits, etc. on his work history, earning potential, and the fact he is not paying any support to any other children.

Today is the day I start to try and get MY life going with MY son.

Wish me luck.

[blas]

What I'm really wondering is why hasn't he been jailed for not paying his child support?

I understand that with the way things are, sometimes this can go on for several months or even a year or so before it's caught by the legal system, but one of the penalties for failing to pay child support is jail time.

If he wants someone to fuck....tell him if he doesn't pay up, he'll get to meet and play with Tiny in jail. Tiny being, of course, a 300 pound biker.

[PhotoChick]

Some people have said don't respond without a lawyer, and while that's kinda sound advice, most of the time the child support enforcement won't help with visitation issues. The only thing I worry about is IF he files for visitation then he can tell the judge that you were keeping your son from him to "pay him back" for not paying child support (and remember in most states, this is 2 separate issues).

What I would do is send him a letter (certified) telling him that you are worried about your son in his car because of X happening in the past (be as detailed as possible). That you don't want to keep him from his son. And you would be willing to agree to supervised visitation. (At his expense.)

There's a place in Tucson called Little Tree Family Services that does supervised visitation without a court order. You can call and find out the fees or have him do it. But then if he wants to do it (and put the money out for it). The people there will make sure your son is properly supervised. If he doesn't then it will probably make him stop asking.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Nelson Superbaby

This made me

[TTAZ]

And it is done

The case is open, the papers are being drawn up. In about 2-2.5 weeks WasteOfSkin will be sent papers to fill out and return, establishing paternity, etc. If he doesn't return them in a timely manner (very likely) they will be served on him. I will be getting a case number in the mail soon so I can check on progress online. Once the court date comes up, either WoS will show or not, won't matter much either way, they'll make a ruling based on his earning potential.

Now the question is, how many fireworks will fly when he gets the papers and realizes I had the audacity to take him to court?

These next few weeks are going to suck, I am so glad I have so much support out there, it really means a lot.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Good luck! We're all rooting for you and there's lots of virtual hugs and cookies here whenever you need them.

[Amina516]

Wow TTaz. Im just reading this all now. I REALLY wish you the best of luck. Youre trying your best, dont let him get you down. Youre doing the right thing for you and your son. (IMO)