industrial

[BookstoreEscapee]

I agree, you gave her a time when you can discuss it, and it's not for another year. She should respect that. But then, she's 13, of she's gonna argue and beg - it's what they do.

If you do decide to let her, make sure she knows exactly what to expect as far as pain and how to take care of it, and make sure she's responsible enough to take care of it.

Personally, if she were my kid, I would make her wait until she's 18. Then she's a legal adult, she can do whatever she wants. She sounds like she's got an awful lot of "self-expression" going on already. When I was 13 I had two holes in each earlobe, and that was it. Now, twenty years later, I'm down to one in each ear cuz the second set closed up.

Just looked it up...I was going to say something about if she changes her mind, how well will the ear heal up? I was thinking about the big guages (don't know if they have an actual name) that actually stretch out the earlobe, which I imagine would require plastic surgery to close up if you were to decide to remove them later. What she wants looks like it would be less problematic if she were to change her mind and remove it. But still...I'd still make my kid wait.

[AdminAssistant]

Thinking further on it, couldn't that kind of piercing mess up her ears as they grow? Yes, I know ears never stop growing, but hers are still growing pretty quickly.

[Eric the Grey]

I don't know why it's up for debate. You said no, it's a no. End of story.

Agreed. You're the Mom, and you said no. Reason enough for her to wait until she's older.



Eric the Grey

[Andara Bledin]

Earrings through the lobe are one thing. Heavy cartilage piercings at the upper ear are something else entirely.

I do have a question: Did you give dear ol' Dad whatfor about letting her go around your decree on the nose piercing?

^-.-^

[iradney]

You're the Mom. You said no, it means no. She's 13 years old, she's far too young.

[tamezin]

Earrings through the lobe are one thing. Heavy cartilage piercings at the upper ear are something else entirely.

I do have a question: Did you give dear ol' Dad whatfor about letting her go around your decree on the nose piercing?

^-.-^

Yes, which is the reason we are having the discussion now. Because he says yes and I say no.

I told her after she had her 3rd set of on her ears done that she was done for a while. She conned her Dad into saying she could have this done, and now she is trying to convince me that I should let her do whatever she wants to her body. I shouldn't be putting her through all of this.

BTW, she was the reason I put the poll up, then when she started reading some of the feed back she said everyone on this site was old and of course they are going to agree with me. So we put the same poll up on one of her sites and the feed back was even worse.

Thank you all for your help. Especially those of you who have had this done and shared your first hand experiences.

[iradney]

Old?? OLD?? I'm 28!!! I'm not old!!!!

I'm a Daddy's girl too, but if my mom said no to something like body modification or going out on a school night, then my Dad backed her up. Did me the world of good as well, as I quickly learnt that when someone says No, they mean NO, not "Nag a little more, and I might change my mind."

[McGoddess09]

I guess 17 is old. You should tell her how old I am and I still am not on her side.

[Shards]

Well, I'm only five years older then her at 18, and I think they're silly to begin with and if you want one at all you need to wait until you can pay for it yourself, if not until you're a legal adult.

Well, I guess I'm a bit more than five years older than her, since I'll be 19 the week after next, but...

[McGoddess09]

I agree with Shards. The only kids I tend to see them on are the kids that have the "Whateva. Whateva. I do what I want." attiude. Not that I'm saying your daughter has that attitude.

I remember being a young'un and wanting all those piercings. I'm so glad my mom didn't let me. Now, I think it would look silly and it would have been hard for me to get teh job I have now.

[AdminAssistant]

I remember wanting a belly button ring when I was 16. The answer was a plain, clear, resounding - NO. No discussion, end of story. Shortly after I turned 18, I had to have laproscopic surgery (gallbladder), which turned the area they normally pierce through into scar tissue. I just decided to drop it. I was in actor training at the time anyway, and piercings/tattos are big no-no's in theatre.

[Kheldarson]

I'm not old! I'm 23. And I didn't even get my first piercing until 20. And I had the money and the time to get it done for myself.

I suggest smacking Dad upside the head and telling him he's doing Daughter no favors.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

All I know is that what I thought looked good (or where my caring what I look like really applies, passable) so much as one year ago is radically different now.

(17... 18 in less than a month)

If you wait two years to get a piercing, you lose absolutely NOTHING... unless your freinds will think less of you, in which case, less judgemental freinds are in order.

End of song.

[Shards]

If you wait two years to get a piercing, you lose absolutely NOTHING... unless your friends will think less of you, in which case, less mindless "rebel" idiots as friends are in order.

End of song.

Edited for correctness. Nothing wrong with non-violent, true rebels, but if you really feel you need five new piercings to look "punk" enough for your friends, you should know that people your age thought it looked rebellious five years ago, when I was your age, too.

[the_std]

The piercing isn't necessarily to make you look "rebellious". Maybe people just like the way they look.