Ridiculous crap we make foreigners believe...

[Broomjockey]

Alberta: We're all cowboys.

Heck, even farmers don't dress like cowboys. About the only time you see it is during the Calgary Stampede.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

- everything can be found in vending machines (almost true)

I heard you have beer in your vending machines. Not even Wisconsin, where the beer flows like the Mississippi River, has that.

And to add to IPF's 'Wisconsin':

The state patrol forces you to put on Packer wear at the border. Shirt AND cheesehat if you're a FIB.

If you're a Vikequeens fan, we also make you wear green and gold facepaint and make you listen to "We're The Minnesota Vikings" by the Happy Schnapps Combo until your ears bleed.

[crazylegs]

All policemen wear pointy hats
All policemen wear tunics
All telephone bozes are red
There's been no original music in the UK since The Beatles

[edible_hat]

I'll keep my eye out for Coopers, although I gather they are just gearing up internationally.

I know they have a US distributor. Heard a story about an expat who went on a road trip. He came across a liquor store that had Coopers so he bought all the stock they had. Then drove across 2 states (including 3 dry counties) with a car full of beer.

[draggar]

Salt water isn't safe - jellyfish and sharks can attack you. (well, Jellyfish don't attack but you get what I mean).

Fresh water isn't safe - there are alligators in there that will attack you.

Don't even get me started on brackish (sp?) water.

Some toads are poisonous.

Most mounds of sand in a field are fire ants - walk on it and they will chase you away and then attack you - in the thousands.

We have Africanized (killer) bees.

We have more mosquitoes (per volume) than anywhere in the world - and this includes all of their diseases.

We have more lightning strikes than any other state in the US. Watch out for those thunderstorms.

We have more tornadoes than any other state in the US. Again, watch out for those thunderstorms.

Bears live out west (near the Everglades) and can attack people.

That small airport averages 1-2 crashes a year (Fort Lauderdale Executive Airport).

The Everglades is not a swap - it's actually the slowest moving river in the world (overflow from Lake Okeechobee).

This is actually the third or fourth "Fort Lauderdale".

Scarface is a documentary to us.

There are pirates between the Bahamas and the US.

We can have 25+ inches of rain in a month and still be in water restrictions.

It rains every day from April to November.

Oh, wait, lies that they believe? I thought this was truths that they never believe!

OK, the lies:

You can swim to the Bahamas in an hour or two.

Cuba in 3.

Miami is only 5 minutes away.

So is South Beach.

Every hotel in Florida offers ocean views since the state is so thin (it's about a 2 hour drive across the state form Ft Lauderdale to Naples).

Don't worry, they speak English in Little Havana and Hialeah.

The Keys do rise and fall with the tides (my wife also got this one at her college in Acadia, Maine (near Bar Harbor)).

None of us evacuate for hurricanes - in fact, we all go to the beach to party.

Andrew flattened everything south of West Palm Beach.

They won't think you're a tourist if you leave on the "Beach" (Delray Beach, Boynton Beach, West Palm Beach, etc..)

Anyplace is only 5 minutes form the beach.

If you're going to Key West you've gone too far if you hit Islamorada (right Jester?)

Fantasy fest is 365 days a year in Key West (well, it might be for some people!).

A, that American laws don't apply down here.

Did the Conch Republic ever re-join the US or stay seceded?

Edit: I do see that the US surrendered in 1995...

[fireheart]

OK, my list of randoms, particularly from my area...

-One suburb has all the knife-wielding maniacs and muggers.
-The southern area (my area) is full of thieves, bogans and muggers.
-The northern area-ditto.
-The eastern suburbs...rich snobs (partially true)

And it even extends to the high schools....of the five or so in my region, one was full of bogans, another had all the knife-wielding maniacs, another had all the sporty kids and mine was the better of the lot.

And there's an advert similar to this....*searches* ah-hah found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyYXU...rom=PL&index=7

[Damien]

I heard you have beer in your vending machines. Not even Wisconsin, where the beer flows like the Mississippi River, has that.

Yes, it is true - we can also get sake, small meals, cigarettes, socks in them too...

[Jester]

It turns out you can make a pretty authentic-looking beer substitute with apple juice and Sprite or 7 Up.

Two words: sparkling cider.

'Nuff said.

New Jersey is all just a bunch of crappy cities, full of smog and crap.

Not that far from the truth. (Lived there, thank you very much.)

Okay, to be fair, the Jersey Shore has a completely undeserved bad reputation. It is both beautiful and lovely there, and I will argue with anyone who disparages the place.

The rest of the state....not so much.

Many people think Budweiser is all we make.

So I walked into a bar in St. Louis one time. The bartender came over, asked what I would have. I asked, "What local beers do you have?" The bartender growled, "Budweiser!" Not missing a beat., I said, "I'll have one of your fine local Budweisers, please!" Bartender laughed. And, of course, served me a Bud.

There's been no original music in the UK since The Beatles

Are people really so ignorant of the Rolling Stones, The Who, David Bowie, The Clash, the Sex Pistols, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton, Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, etc.?

We have more lightning strikes than any other state in the US.

In Tampa this may well be true, being the Lightning Capital of the World and all.

The Everglades is not a swamp - it's actually the slowest moving river in the world (overflow from Lake Okeechobee).

I thought this was true! Am I just another ignorant tourist type?

The Keys do rise and fall with the tides.

Now that is one I have not heard!

None of us evacuate for hurricanes - in fact, we all go to the beach to party.

Now, I don't know about your area, but in Key West, that is pretty much the truth. Well, we don't go to the beach to party, but we DO party!

If you're going to Key West you've gone too far if you hit Islamorada (right Jester?)

Never heard this one either, to be honest.

Fantasy fest is 365 days a year in Key West.

As crazy as Key West is--and it IS crazy--Fantasy Fest is a special kind of crazy that only happens once (or five times) a year. That being said, compared to the way most people live, this may well SEEM like Fantasy Fest all year long.

Did the Conch Republic ever re-join the US or stay seceded?

As far as I know, immediately after seceding and declaring war on the U.S., the Conch Republic surrendered and asked for a billion dollars in foreign aid. (The secession was a protest, after all, sparked by the financial damage the DEA roadblocks were causing the Keys.)

Edit: I do see that the US surrendered in 1995...

This I was unaware of, unless it was part of our annual Conch Republic Independence Days, where in the Bloody Battle, the Conch Republic Nave beat the U.S. Navy. As they do EVERY year in said Battle. Amazing what a bunch of drunks armed with stale Cuban bread, rolls of toilet paper, and water hoses can do.

(Note: for those that think the above comments are just part of my normal lunacy, they aren't. This is actually what happens every year during the aforementioned events in April commemorating that day in 1982 when the Mayor of Key West, along with some of the bolder (and nuttier) local bigwigs declared the Conch Republic an independent sovereign power and seceded from the United States. If you don't believe me, look it up. This is shit even I couldn't make up!)

[edible_hat]

-The southern area (my area) is full of thieves, bogans and muggers.
-The northern area-ditto.

The bit about northern area is true. Just listen to the morning news on the radio, you'll notice that most of the robberies are north of Grand Junction Road.

[Mr Slugger]

Hmmmm well for massachusetts.

We're the worst for road rage. (We're actually #9)
We're the worst drivers. (Don't actually know where we stand on that)
We're mean. (Oh wait)
We all sound like Ted Kennedy (Honestly he's the only person I've met that has a Boston accent that bad)

And the last one is true. Our state's real name is Taxachusetts

[draggar]

(My quote on the Keys rising with the tides)
Now that is one I have not heard!

My wife used to hear the tourists who left Bar Harbor (on purpose or by accident) and ended up on the other side of the bay in Acadia. They would ask if the islands rose and fell with the tides.

(Draggar: Islamorada is past Key West)
Never heard this one either, to be honest.

It's fun, though. They get past, and turn around, then back to Key Largo, turn around again.

As far as I know, immediately after seceding and declaring war on the U.S., the Conch Republic surrendered and asked for a billion dollars in foreign aid. (The secession was a protest, after all, sparked by the financial damage the DEA roadblocks were causing the Keys.)

The Conch Republic surrendered (to the same person that they broke the stale Cuban bread on) but technically never re-joined the US.

This I was unaware of, unless it was part of our annual Conch Republic Independence Days, where in the Bloody Battle, the Conch Republic Nave beat the U.S. Navy. As they do EVERY year in said Battle. Amazing what a bunch of drunks armed with stale Cuban bread, rolls of toilet paper, and water hoses can do.

http://conchrepublic.com/invade95.htm

Gotta love the Conch Republic - the US surrendered to them.

[Jester]

Ah, yes, I remember reading that. Hilarious stuff. Those who have never lived here might find all this rather bizarre, but it is totally in keeping with the humorous and laidback lifestyle we lead down here. While Admiral Harvey has sailed into that Great Conch Harbor in the Sky, Rear Admiral Finbar is still around from time to time, causing trouble, as he is wont to do. And of course the Secretary General is still....well, he's Sir Peter. For those who know him, no further explanation is necessary; for those who don't, none is possible.



LONG LIVE THE CONCH REPUBLIC!



What?

I AM a Major in the Conch Republic Army, after all. Magical Services Division. (No, I am not kidding.)

[protege]

Okay, to be fair, the Jersey Shore has a completely undeserved bad reputation. It is both beautiful and lovely there, and I will argue with anyone who disparages the place.

The rest of the state....not so much.

Yep, south NJ is freaking awesome. The northern part? Not so much. In fact, northern NJ pretty much sucks, especially around Newark. Too much smog, traffic, and used-car lots

[Jester]

Newark: just like New York City, only without all the good stuff.

[Jpurple]

- everything can be found in vending machines (almost true)

This is disturbingly close to the truth, although I have yet to find the purported used-girls-panties vending machine that supposedly exists.

Things I heard people say/expect when I lived in Bangkok:
-'They, like, shoot you if you say bad things about the king, right?'

- Every Thai girl walking past is a prostitute (it is a disturbingly high percentage, but not quite that bad)

Things they don't believe about Bangkok that they should:
-not every girl walking past is actually a girl