so apparently because I'm weirded out by this, I'm a cynical paranoid bitch

[SG15Z]

.......ok yeah that's creepy. I'm shy myself, but I never resort to watching a girl in my area from afar for 4 months only to leave a vague note. If I can't work up the courage to talk to her face to face then I don't bother. This guy sounds like a stalker to me, I don't see shyness anywhere, it's just not our style.

[Mike Taylor]

I'm gonna chime in and agree with everybody else.

There's definitely a skeeze factor going on here. Personally, I think it's a doofus who thinks he's being a slick Romeo, but if that letter tripped alarm bells you should listen to them. Whether he's a "playa" or a full blown nutjob is irrelevant.

[Jester]

I have to disagree with this, being shy and cowardace are not related, depending on how shy you are, it can be fairly damned difficult to actually bring yourself to talk to a person, especially if you are attracted to them, not always a matter of courage.

Yes it can. But not being able to talk to a person and leaving a note like that are not the same thing. Leaving a note like that rather than approaching the object of affection is, in fact, cowardice. Such bravado is only ever worth a damn thing in person, otherwise it is not bravado--it's cowardice.

I'm not getting shy from the wording of the note.

Honestly, neither am I. But I did present it as one distant possibility.

[Gravekeeper]

I like when Jester posts on these threads, saves me from having to say much.

But yes, he's either a stalker, a coward or an idiot. Or any mixture of the 3. Definitely creepy though. You shouldn't have to justify why you feel that way about it, however. There's a difference between being a cold hearted bitch and trying to avoid ending up tied to post in someone's basement spread eagle in a girl's scout uniform with a happy face drawn over your actual face with a sharpie.

Sounds like the sort of guy that puts up Craigslist ads for "amateur models" for a "photo shoot". >.>

Still, even if he had approached you, I'd still be wary of a guy whose entire basis for coming up to you is "OMFG YER SO HAWT CAN I TOUCH YOUR FEET?".

I was 17 on a side note, and I regretted it honestly. ;p

[RayvenQ]

Yes it can. But not being able to talk to a person and leaving a note like that are not the same thing. Leaving a note like that rather than approaching the object of affection is, in fact, cowardice. Such bravado is only ever worth a damn thing in person, otherwise it is not bravado--it's cowardice.

Well In my case I had to get a friend of a friend to pass what I wrote on, wasn't to do with courage, probably confidence, but those two do not really interchangable, because i wanted to, but when it came down to doing it, my body refused to move (same with my tongue if i had ever tried speaking to her)

Like I said, I agreed with you on the rest of what you said though.

[Soulstealer]

You're not wrong, that is BEYOND creepy. Your mom and one friend, I hate to say, are either completely naive or living in a fantasy world. Or both.

Definitely fantasy world, but then we grow up with society telling us that if a guy really cares for you he should continue to pursue you even if you don't like it and that no is just a postponement of yes.

Like everyone else has been saying don't respond to the letter and you might want to be careful around your apartment complex for a bit to be on the safe side.

[iradney]

It's terribly sad Lupo...that your own mother could be that cold towards you!! Men and sex are not the be all and end all!

Ignore the note. It's too squicky and tries too hard. If he writes you again, ignore again, but still, keep the notes.

[Keiara]

Very creepy. The tone of that note is drenched with creepiness. I wish your family and friends were more supportive.

Add me to the ignore him bandwagon.

As for your virginity.... Your choice. Your business. Nothing is wrong with you hun

[Red_Dazes]

I'm gonna side with everyone else and say "Creepy" I would be going to my apartment manager as soon as the note showed up and raising hell.... well maybe not hell... but letting him know what was going on and that it was making me uncomfortable. Your mom and your friends need to pull their heads out of "Fairy Tale" land and into the real world... cause I read that 3 times and I can't find a single way that is "Cute" Gave me the chills.

As for the other part, don't stress about being a virgin hun. Nothing wrong with that as far as I can tell, much more important things in life than sex... at least until you find that someone.... and I don't mean creepy note man.

[Jester]

I like when Jester posts on these threads, saves me from having to say much.

There's a difference between being a cold hearted bitch and trying to avoid ending up tied to post in someone's basement spread eagle in a girl's scout uniform with a happy face drawn over your actual face with a sharpie.

See, you make the first comment, and then prove it utterly wrong with the (utterly brilliant) second comment.

Bastard.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I'm with the "he's a potential stalker" crowd here, but that doesn't solve the problem of not knowing who he is.

You live in an apartment, right? Are there security cameras in the halls? Maybe you could talk to the manager (as already mentioned). If not, maybe he/she has seen someone around that seemed out of place.

[lupo pazzesco]

Wow, 3 pages in the span of one night. Impressive.

I'd already decided my course of action would be to do nothing, but hold on to the card as evidence if you will. If I get another note or something, I'm going to the leasing office and letting the manager know what's going on and that I'll probably be bringing in the police.

As for security cameras? My apartment complex isn't one with long hallways. It's actually individual units, with doors that open to the outside, if that makes sense. So, yeah, very little security. and just from observing neighbors who live around my apartment, most are married/with someone & even have kids, old enough to be my parents (or grandparents) or just plain creepy/wannabe gangsters with no sense of hygiene whatsoever. Not anyone I think I'd be interested in.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who's getting the creeped out vibe from this. Honestly, with everything that's happened to me this year, and how out of whack my mental and emotional states have been, I was truly wondering if maybe my instincts are off balance, and it could be right I'm overreacting because I'm not myself. But having it reinforced that I'm not is reassuring that I'm still able to gauge situations. This is always a good thing

Thanks everyone!

[Eireann]

Mae beat me to it - DEFINITELY, go to the police and show them the note. Maybe they can fingerprint it to see if the prints belong to someone with a criminal record. Or maybe I've seen too many crime shows.

A guy once followed me home and left a flower and a note in front of my door, claiming that he wanted to make sure I got home okay, because he'd seen me walking from the bus stop, and it was night, and all. Like your mom, my mom didn't see anything dangerous, or potentially dangerous, in it. The guy even tried that "I'm so humble" approach by writing, "If for some strange reason you might want to contact me..."

Yeah, that WOULD be a strange reason. He used to try to start up a conversation with me when I walked past his house, too, and he "just happened" to be sitting on the porch. I ignored him profoundly, and he still tried it!

Some people just don't have a clue. Some don't want to have a clue. No healthy person leaves notes on your door telling you how great you are, UNLESS you are already in a good relationship with that person, and it's his/her way of being sweet. This guy? If he thinks leaving a note on your door is the way to go, he just isn't going to listen to you, or anyone else, telling him otherwise.

Please go to the police with the note, so they are fully informed if the guy tries anything else.

[protege]

I'm so hard hearted because I'm not willing to give a complete stranger a chance who has been watching me for 4 months, knows where I live, and can't even give me the same information? Just a name in quotes and a random cell #? I'm not going to call it because then he'll have my number, and I dont' want him knowing anything else about me!!

Hard-hearted? Hell no. There's something wrong with this guy. Checking someone out is one thing...this guy went way beyond that. By "way beyond," I mean, he flew over the line with a 747 and is now in a holding zone above the airport in Creepyville.

I too find it a bit odd that he knows all your info, but doesn't have the balls to leave his own. Sorry, but that shit doesn't fly (pun intended.) At least the bastard should respect you enough to include proper info.

So, am I wrong to be creeped out by this? Am I overreacting? Am I really that much of a cold, hard-hearted bitch monster? I didn't think so, but apparently I might be. The very thought is actually making me tear up right now, and that only serves to piss me off a little because I don't think I'm cold.

You're not cold. If you were, I really don't think you'd be worried about it. People who are truly "cold," don't give a shit.

I know I have a lot of issues when it comes to men, and I'm in no way ready for any kind of relationship, but that doesn't make me cold, does it? I would have thought that means I know about myself. I'm painfully shy when it comes to the opposite sex.

You're not the only one. I have a lot of issues when it comes to women. Anyone who has read my LJ knows that It's not the talking to them that's the problem...but landing them. I seem to do better chatting online for some reason.

And to make matters worse, I'm getting told that I'm 25, soon to be 26, and still a virgin, so obviously there's something wrong with me. What the hell??

I turned 33 last June. Sure, I've had girlfriends (and no, I'm *not* revealing all the gory details. You want that info, go find it ), but since the last one was quite awhile ago, after people find out my age...I get to hear about how I need to land someone and settle down. Sorry, not happening.

[Gravekeeper]

See, you make the first comment, and then prove it utterly wrong with the (utterly brilliant) second comment.

Bastard.

But you say all the important stuff, so all I need to do is come in and make quirky observations. ;p