so apparently because I'm weirded out by this, I'm a cynical paranoid bitch

[Slytovhand]

You know, mr. Creepshow sounds a little like this guy:

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the...gle-very-funny



Well maybe not quite, unlike the voicemail loser Creepy didn't go on about how great he is in his little stalker manifesto. But joking aside, I'm not sure if that little non-self-gushing detail should make me more or less worried.

OMFG!!!! Yes, you can guess why he's single, and the last relationship was long distance...

[sportsmom]

What he did is just a step away from being a stalker. Your instincts are SCREAMING at you that this isn't something to take lightly. ALWAYS listen to your instincts.
My instincts tell me that this guy is someone that the cops need to take notice of NOW.

That's not a step away from, that's a giant step right into the middle of being a stalker. Lupo, you need to follow your gut. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right.

[Boozy]

If I received a note like that, I'd have a chuckle, toss it in the garbage, and forget about it.

He might be shy, but when a guy says something like "If beauty were time you'd be eternity" to a total stranger, he's either a man-whore or trying to become one.

But the odds of him being a stalker are incredibly low. There's no indication that he's obsessed with you or otherwise behaving irrationally. He has been able to look at you occasionally over the last 4 months because you live in the same apartment complex. He isn't driving across town and parking across the street to stare at you as you come and go. There's no reason to believe that he is any more a threat to you than any other neighbour who sees you around on a daily basis.

Sometimes when men ask women out, they do so ineptly. Many of them have never been taught the proper way to approach a woman, so they make mistakes. Sometimes these clumsy mistakes have the unintended effect of creeping the woman out. But in 99% of cases, these men are harmless.

If you are as beautiful as this man believes you to be, you'll be asked out many times in the future. If you let every clumsy come-on freak you out to this extent, you're apt to become a very stressed-out person. Hyper-vigilance also makes you unable to differentiate between harmless pick-up artists and potentially dangerous men -- many of who are far too smooth and experienced to do or say anything that may creep women out early on in the relationship.

Toss the note in the trash and move on.

[Eireann]

PLEASE KEEP THE NOTE.

Even if this guy is harmless, and simply a social klutz, it's better to have it. I, for one, would never go out with someone who thought that leaving a note on my door was an acceptable way to approach me, no matter what the reasons were. It's always best to have this reminder around, just in case. It doesn't mean you have to obsess over it, or that you will obsess over it.

And, in my opinion, thinking that a note on the door is "sweet" or "romantic" from someone you have never met and don't know, is sadly outdated, even if there weren't the risk of this person attempting something else with you. You don't have to look over your shoulder all the time, or jump whenever someone comes to your door. Having a healthy awareness of the fact that someone has approached you, unasked and unwanted, in an attempt to (ostensibly) get to know you better, is important. Yes, it's true that he may be shy, but that doesn't mean that you have to laugh off the fact that he watched you often enough to know where you live, so that he could leave a note on your door. I, for one, find that very personal and intrusive.

The note says this guy has been living there for four months and has been watching you all that time, and that isn't at all worrying? Where might he have been before? You don't know anything about him, beyond the fact that he has a very different approach when it comes to women. I stand by my previous advice: Talk to the police. If nothing more comes of it, then that will be the best thing that could happen. If something more does come of it, they will be informed and can act accordingly. Far better to feel slightly embarrassed than to have a police officer asking, "Why didn't you come to us before?"

EDITED TO ADD:

This guy must have some familiarity with your schedule, because he taped the note to your door when you weren't at home. I don't like this at all.

[Soulstealer]

25

(and getting closer to becoming a virgin again... 7 years, isn't it??)

I'm afraid there is no do over no matter what certain religious people would claim. It doesn't matter one way or the other anyway (unless you're a porn star but they're all lying anyway)

[MadMike]

I'd be pretty creeped out too. Maybe, just maybe he's harmless and sincere, but you just can't be too careful these days. Too many fucked up people out there.

[kibbles]

The suggestion to talk to the police would be overreacting big time IMO.

[AdminAssistant]

He may be shy. He may be a creep. He may be a kid. But, in my opinion, better to be safe than hogtied and gagged in the back of someone's car.

Lupo, I don't think you're over-reacting. I think the plan of action you've decided is the smartest way to go. That would creep me out, too. And I think it's very sad that your family doesn't see it that way.

Oh, and I was just 16. I wish I had been older.

[Hyena Dandy]

There is a possibility (since I'm a hopeless optimist, I'll say a good one) that he's just a nice guy who sucks at talking to people and probably has seen one too many romantic comedies. I'm an optimist, but I'm also practical, and the chance that he's a good guy is still overweighed by the consequences if he's not.

But still, he's clearly going on far too much about your appearance, which is annoying because he barely says two words about wanting to actually get to KNOW you. Also, he says he's been watching you for FOUR MONTHS before writing a note and sticking it to your door.

Even if he IS just a nice guy, and not a crazy stalker, if he's been watching you for several months (watching to him might just mean 'noticing in the halls' and not actively watching) then he's probably built up an unrealistic idea of what he thinks you're like, so that even if you DID go out with him, he would end up being upset that you're not who he wants you to be, and you would end up in the (believe me, I know) VERY unenviable position of being in a relationship where you're competing for affection with someone who IS ALSO YOURSELF. (I've also been in one where I had to compete for attention with a fictional character, and one where I was competing with someone who is now my boyfriend. However, that someone is totally worth it =)

Enough about me though.)

[Akasa]

Seeing as I've been in the unenviable position of being stalked my reaction was inform police and leasing office, and carry around something like mace of a knife(if you know how to use one) for self defense.
Then again, I HAVE been stalked before. Makes one jumpy.

[Eireann]

He's also had four months to try to approach you, and this is the best he can do? Note what your schedule is so that he can tape something to your door without you realizing it at the time?

At best, at VERY best, the guy is thoroughly clueless and doesn't know - or worse, doesn't care - that this is a great way to freak out a woman. I stand by my recommendation to go to the police. If he didn't mean anything, a little visit from the boys in blue might show him that, in the future, it's best to find another way to approach someone he finds attractive. If he's one of the scary people, the police will then take you seriously if you go to them later with a complaint.

[wagegoth]

I've never had a stalker, but I have had some very persistent suitors (I'm being nice, okay) who did not understand that when I say, "No," it really does mean no. I'd do exactly what you are doing, Lupo: hang onto the note and see what happens. Any more notes, flowers, gifts, etc., go to the management and call the police.


BTW, just to scare anyone who isn't getting this, here's the background of Dimitri the stud:

http://www.mahalo.com/dimitri-the-lover

[SG15Z]

Oh and about the whole virginity thing. I'm 21 and still a virgin. Then again I'm waiting till after marriage. It's not a big deal to me.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You know, I just reread the OP, and it says Lupo's "admirer" put her apt. number on the envelope.

Why would he need to do that? He knows where she lives, and that he's putting it on her door...

Unless he's done it to more than one door.

Ew.

[TTAZ]

Is anybody else seeing the similarities between the card and spam emails? To me it reads exactly like one of those ads that was obviously done by a spambot.

"Are you looking for a new career in [NAME OF CITY ALWAYS IN CAPS]? Want to be your own boss? Tired of going to the same office day after day? Check out [SOME SCAM SYSTEM TO WORK FROM HOME MAKING OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF $$$ IF YOU ONLY PAY THESE PEOPLE FOR AN INFO PACKET OF EASILY AVAILABLE PUBLIC INFORMATION]"

See what I mean? Here is what I would do-

Google that number, see what pops up
Google something like- note on door from "TERRY", see what pops up

I just get the feeling that "TERRY" is part of a scam operation. Instead of emails that get tossed, why not invest in some cheap cards and put on the personal touch? I bet the cell phone is a throwaway and if you called it (which you definitely SHOULD NOT) "TERRY" would turn out to need $$$ to come to you and sweep you off your feet. If you refuse "TERRY" will play to your insecurities and flattery eventually turning downright beligerent.

Lupo, you should be freaked, yes. But I do not think you have a stalker, I think you are part of one of the STUPIDEST marketing ploys ever developed for a scam artist. Google that stuff, if it turns out it's a scam or you find anything else shady, turn it in to the cops.

Just my $0.02