Dating/asking out advice

[Seshat]

No note.

Ask her to join you on campus for a coffee. Coffee (or hot chocolate, or cola) is good, it's a brief thing, in a public place, in a familiar environment, with the easy 'out' of "I have class" or "I have to study" if the event goes wrong for either party.

Always remember that she's as nervous as you - always make the initial offered meeting somewhere public, potentially brief, with an easy 'out'. This will greatly reassure her, and will make you look considerate. And it gives you an easy 'out' as well, if she disappoints!

When flirting, keep an eye on whether or not she flirts back. If she doesn't, stop flirting! As I said some time back: the difference between a 'dirty old gentleman' and a creep is that the gentleman only flirts with those who continue to flirt back.

And that's about the extent of my advice for this one. Just buck up the courage and ask - the worst that happens if you ask is that she says no, and you don't get to go out with her.
And if you don't ask, you definitely don't get to go out with her.

So you either have the status quo, or a win!

[Jester]

Wait, ask her for his number? Isn't that backwards? Or was that a suggestion as a humorous ice breaker, or a bit of humor from you?

Any way it happened, was definitely humorous. And I could doing exactly that suggestion working. Go for it

Actually, it was a typo. Even I make them occasionally. I meant he should ask her for HER number, of course.

And while on the screen what I typed might look cute or funny, I get the feeling that actually doing it would come off as insincere and phony, and pretty much sound like a line. "Hi, can you give me my number?" Hell, it may even make Our Hero sound delusional. NOT the best way to make a good first impression.

I asked a cute girl on the train out today.

She laughed at me maniacally. Thought it was /cute/.


Not in a good way ether.

Sometimes, things don't go the way we hoped. Doesn't mean we don't learn from them.

Funny, this thread reminds me of myself Wednesday/last night.

Bought her a drink, chatted with her for awhile, then asked her for her number so I could call her to go out sometime (a.k.a. this weekend). Now she's in my contact list. SCORE!

And sometimes things DO go the way we hope!

PS - Either the number she gave me was fake, or I was so drunk that I messed it up. I'm praying for #2 damnit.

Until we screw them up, of course.

The good news, Green, is that you know you will see this girl again, as she is in your class. "Hey, I'm an idiot, but I put your number in my phone wrong. Can I get it again?" Remember, she approached you in the bar, so my guess is she probably didn't give you a fake number. Of course, anything is possible. I know this to be true for the very simple fact that *I* get laid.

[MergedLoki]

ask for the standard,

coffee. or out for a drink @ a local watering hole (alcoholic drink or two might help break the ice and help you not be so shy).

[joe hx]

Another question -

Today she wasn't able to sit next to me (due to class being full) - would've it been creepy for me to have gotten up and sat next to her?

Always remember that she's as nervous as you

That's something I've never thought about. By watching her actions with other people (yeah sound creepy) I think she might be as shy as me.

[poofy_puff]

Another question -

Today she wasn't able to sit next to me (due to class being full) - would've it been creepy for me to have gotten up and sat next to her?

You have to ASK about this?

YES, if the class was full, you would have had to sit in someone else's lap or ask them to move, and that would be beyond creepy.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah. Do not give the impression that you care that much about it. Even if you do.

Is that game playing? Maybe. The entire dance is game playing, so it doesn't matter. Just know that whoever cares the least has the power.

Long time ago Jester (wasn't i?) told some redhead she was georgeous. Then totally ignored her. She couldn't leave it alone after that.

I'm not saying ignore her, I'm saying the last thing you want is to appear creepy. Or desperate. Women can smell desperation a mile away, and it does not smell attractive.

You can ask her for her number again, saying you tried to call and the number was wrong. In fact, at this point, I would even say it's okay to give her your number if you wanted to. You've done the requisite initial pursuit. Normally, giving her your number would be taboo in my book, but in this case, I think it would be okay.

If you do call her again, and it's wrong again, write her off. That's a level of game playing you shouldn't play along with.

[Jester]

Today she wasn't able to sit next to me (due to class being full) - would've it been creepy for me to have gotten up and sat next to her?

Well, that really depends on the dynamics so far between the two of you, and frankly, no one here has seen enough of that (since we haven't seen any!) to make a judgment call. You are the only one who is familiar enough with the situation to make such a call. Considering the level of nervousness and apprehension you are experiencing, I would say that probably wouldn't be the best idea.

The above is all assuming that the class is full in the sense that she couldn't sit next to you, but there were still some available chairs near her, and NOT that you would have had to have sat in someone else's lap, as Poofy said. That would be creepier than hell, but I am guessing you knew that!

Long time ago Jester (wasn't i?) told some redhead she was georgeous. Then totally ignored her. She couldn't leave it alone after that.

Great story. Too bad that's not quite what happened.

I was extraordinarily hungover and still wearing my court jester costume from the night before. (This was during Fantasy Fest, so not as odd or out of place as it sounds.) My friends and I were at a pool bar where I happened to notice a stunning redhead with long hair. While I was socializing with some other people, she strolled up to the bar from her pool lounger to order a drink, standing next to me as she did so. I turned to her in my hungover state, and without missing a beat (and still wearing my court jester outfit) said, "Darlin', I've gotta tell you--my biggest weakness with women is long hair, and you are just making my day!" And then went back to talking to the people I had been talking to as she stood there in semi-shock. Somehow (and the details are hazy three years after the fact), sometime later she started talking with myself and my friends. She was scheduled to leave that day to go home to Lauderdale with her ride.

She stayed an extra day and I drove her home the next day.

You can ask her for her number again, saying you tried to call and the number was wrong.

If you do call her again, and it's wrong again, write her off. That's a level of game playing you shouldn't play along with.

I believe it was Greenday, not the OP, that got a girl's number and it turned out to be the wrong one.