I need a hug....

[Evil Queen]

You like the idea of a guy telling you you're a star and giving you a piece of candy?

Yes I do. I'm normally told I'm a cute kid and do I want a ride.

*sighs* The curse of looking younger then I am.

[Dave1982]

I'm also told I look younger than I really am. I have to produce ID to prove I'm 27 (and not just when buying alcohol).

[AnqeiicDemise]

But its better than looking much older in my opinion. I still get told I need to go back to high school sometimes.

I dated a guy once, I met in college. Tall, full beard, well behaved. I believed him when he said he was nineteen.

We started dating, his dad, one of my professors, was none too happy about it. Why? Turns out the jerkwad of my boyfriend was FOURTEEN. (It explained a lot, really).

As grossed out as I was at the time, I can't imagine how he'll enjoy looking older than he is when well, he's older. My uncle gets a little annoyed at being treated like a senior citizen and he's in his mid forties (he inherited his dad's genes and by the time he was thirty, Uncle already had a white head of hair.)

[Red_Dazes]

I'm just reiterating what EVERY one else seems to be saying ((but you know... if three+ people say it...then it must be true ))

Take a few deep breaths, you've made a big decision and now you just gotta go with it. Try not to freak out too much, and just be yourself... you've been hanging out for a while now, so don't go being someone else all of a sudden. its a first 'drink/date/social outing. So don't go into it expecting roses and bubbly floating hearts and sparkles... just expect it to either be the first step in a long process of building a future relationship with this someone, or another step in strengthening your already strong friendship.

And yeah... I can totally talk the talk... but I would probably be puking my guts out with the butterflies if I was in your shoes... so don't feel bad, we all become nervous wrecks when we finally work up the courage to ask someone out...... and then have time to think about EVERYTHING that could go wrong ((even if our imaginations are making it far worse than it could be.... I mean, come on... Zombie Ninjas aren't gonna pop out of the roof. ^_^ ))

**Hugs**

[Jester]

I'm also told I look younger than I really am. I have to produce ID to prove I'm 27 (and not just when buying alcohol).

I got carded in October. I'm 39.

But its better than looking much older in my opinion.

My friend Frank is like that. People were guessing he was in his forties when he was still in his twenties. Almost everyone assumes he's about ten years older than me. In reality, he is three years younger.

[JoitheArtist]

My friend Frank is like that. People were guessing he was in his forties when he was still in his twenties. Almost everyone assumes he's about ten years older than me. In reality, he is three years younger.

I'm like that--people routinely think I'm in my mid-thirties (actually mid-twenties). People often thought I was a college student when I was in high school. Honestly, I don't mind. I'm not attractive as it is, so adding a few years doesn't really hurt anything. Plus, I usually enjoy conversation with people 10-25 years older than me more than I do with people my own age.

Oh, and Dave: the thing with the candy was VERY cute. Seriously, even a small effort to show her something that seems put together around a theme is a good way to impress. Shows you put some thought into it. Just my own opinion...

[Dave1982]

Oh, and Dave: the thing with the candy was VERY cute.

Thank you!!

[Dave1982]

Well, the short version is that this:

She has accepted your invitation, and if you made it clear that it was a date (you didn't really say either way), that is a great sign that she is willing to take it to a new level.

I didn't use the word "date," but I did specifically say "take you out for a drink."

Yeah, I kind of got that feeling from your original post. Remember, it may be more a date in your head than in yours.

....came back to bite me in the ass....

Now, for those who are interested in knowing, here's the long version.

We were having a hell of a time finding the time for this "date" because first she had a sinus infection, and then our schedules simply refused to sync up. I told her that when we got our schedules for this week, we should make a point of finding the time for this before making any other plans, and she agreed. And by this point, we'd changed plans from "a drink" to going to a Jen & Berry's [name intentionally changed] Scoop Shop for ice cream. I thought she might like that better since 1) it looked like we'd have to make it a mid-day thing, and 2) she'd once told me that her favorite ice cream from Jen & Berry's was triple caramel chunk, and while that's not a Scoop Shop only flavor, it's pretty much impossible to find in stores around here. She said that was a great idea and that it sounded like fun, so I thought things were going pretty good.

Now, this coming Thursday we were both going to be off, but I hadn't had the chance to say anything yet. Then, Friday night, I went onto Facebook and the top item on my news feed was "[My Crush] is in a relationship."

Needless to say, that was like a sucker punch to the gut........ And it didn't help that I wasn't able to get in touch with her all weekend, despite trying (though not trying TOO much....didn't want to seem desperate). Then, as if God was trying to tell me something, the homily at Mass on Sunday had "rejection" as a theme, which was probably what I needed to hear, but certainly not what I WANTED to hear. This led me to do something that would be.....legally unwise to say in a public forum, but it wasn't good......

Finally I was able to talk to her a couple hours ago. I asked her who the lucky guy was, and she told me she's giving her last BF another chance. I'm not gonna say anything bad about him here, but I've been friends with her since before she got together with this guy the first time, and I know most if not all of the reasons she dumped him, and I thought getting rid of him was a good idea (this was before I'd realized I'd developed my own feelings for her). I can't quite believe that she's giving him another chance. It kinda makes this whole thing feel like something out of a bad soap opera.

Now, bear in mind that this was all over AIM, and we all know how things can be misinterpreted when it's just text. So while I'd been counseled by a mutual friend that I needed to come clean with her ASAP - for my own sanity if nothing else - that was something I wanted to do face to face, rather than online. So all I said was "I guess that means no ice cream then, right?"

Her: "No, I don't think he'd like that, sorry."

Me: OK.

I was prepared to let things go at that, at least until we had some time to talk in person, but the light bulb must have gone off in her head, because after a minute or so she asked me "Dave, did you want that to be a date?"

I wasn't about to duck that question, so I told her the truth, which was yes.

This triggered some....."emotional output" from both of us, because she considers me a great friend, and was upset to find out that she'd accidentally hurt my feelings in such a big way. She must have apologized half a dozen times, explaining that she hadn't realized I felt that way and that I'd intended for this to be a date.

We ended up getting everything out in the open....or at least as much as is possible via Instant Message, and agreed that we can still be friends. Now, before anyone says it, yes I know it's difficult to accomplish that with this sort of thing out in the open, but that doesn't mean we can't try.

So, at least for right now, that's that. I think we're still going to need to have a long chat face to face, but at least I know where things stand right now, without any uncertainty hanging over everything. I'd be lying if I said I was happy about this (I had to stop a couple times while typing this up because my eyes started to tear up again), but I know that I'll recover from this, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. 2010 is only a month old; I still have 11 months to fulfill my promise to myself.

So once again, thanks for listening, and wish me luck.

[RootedPhoenix]

Oh, *offers hugs and chocolate*

I'd be crying too.... but like you said there's lots of time left and lots of people out there.

Good luck.

[Shangri-laschild]

We ended up getting everything out in the open....or at least as much as is possible via Instant Message, and agreed that we can still be friends. Now, before anyone says it, yes I know it's difficult to accomplish that with this sort of thing out in the open, but that doesn't mean we can't try.

I've had that situation where things were out in the open. I won't lie and say it's always easy, but it is possible. That's the situation with my current roomate and things were out in the open before we moved in together. We both know where we stand with each other and are still friends. Again, it's not always easy, but good luck with it