Things I Learned From Disney Movies

[the_std]

Or, rather, lies I've learned from Disney movies.

I can think of a lot of truth-stretching and downright fabrication that made those movies entertaining and fun to watch, but one that has stuck with me my whole life...

Regular air will make balloons float!

I've been reminded of this one from watching Disney's Robin Hood, when Hiss sticks his head into a balloon and inflates it himself so that he can float around the archery tournament and spy on Robin Hood. Ever since watching this movie the first time at a tender young age, I am mildly shocked every time I blow up a balloon and it doesn't immediately float me off to the heavens. Ah, such hard lessons to learn!

How about you guys? What falsehoods have stuck with you this whole time?

[Bandit]

Lemmings.

While it's a funny myth and a great game, it was not nice to find out that they were herded over the cliff for Disney.

B

[jedimaster91]

That men spontaneously sing romantic love songs.

All the women have great hair.

True love conquers all and the good guys always win.



I'm sure I'll think of more.

[Caffienated_Caramel]

I thought regular air did too! lol

The first guy you fall for is NOT prince charming!

Whoever thought nothing is impossible hasn't tried slamming a revolving door yet.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Incredibly short men are not potential love interests.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That if your life sucks, all you have to do is lay around and wish for it to stop sucking. Eventually, a fairy will show up, fix your wardrobe and marry you off to a prince, with absolutely no effort whatsoever from you.

In all honesty, this bit actually took me a bit to figure out. My younger years were not much to write home about.

Other lessons I didnt really need to unlearn, but they are amusing just the same:

That it's wise to marry a guy on the second date. After a first date in which he was too clueless to get your name. Or even, really, a good look at your face.

Oh, and that after years of physical and mental abuse, a person would just be fine and dandy and let bygones be bygones and invite their abusers to the wedding.

I'm talking to you, Cinderella.

I'd be like, you know what, Godmother? You can keep the dress, I'm not much up for a party right now. How about this? Just kill those bitches for me and we'll call it a night.

[JoitheArtist]

That all men are dumb silent hunks with freaking HUGE eyebrows.



I never cared much for the Disney men. Except Prince Phillip--he was funny, had normal eyebrows, and was willing to kill a demon dragon (Maleficent--still the best Disney villain of all time). And Robin Hood because who cares if he's a fox, he was freaking AMAZING.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Prince Phillip was kind of hot...he had quite a bit of moxie for Disney royalty. They mostly tend to pretty much do what they are told. Not Phillip, he's got some stones.

And I'm sorry, but John Smith is just freaking sexy. I can't help it. I think it's the voice.

[Evil Queen]

That you should judge a book by its' cover (Snow White; the evil step mother as a witch, yes! Teach us to hate and fear ugly people!)

The you can befriend wild animals (snow white, again)

That you can only be happy or be considered pretty if you're thin.

"bad guys" always lose and "good guys" always win. If only that were true.

There's always a sequal!

[SG15Z]

That everyone will randomly break out in a musical number without any rehearsing and on the spot.

[Amina516]

Ive learned to look once more....just around the riverbend...



*Pocahontas.

[Sheldonrs]

That when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

Also that when you kiss someone who is sleeping, they won't reflexively punch you in the head when they wake up startled. :-)

[morgana]

That a woman who is beautiful must be either incredibly evil, or she must be stupid, malleable, and unable to stand up for herself. Okay, this one's gotten better in recent years, but when I was growing up . . .

[iradney]

That you will be married happily ever after despite marrying a random stranger that, for all you know, constantly leaves wet towels on the bed and pees in the potplants instead of the loo. Which would slowly drive me insane and probably result in murder.

All women are weirdly proportioned.

[TelephoneAngel]

That when someone has been asleep for a hundred years, they do not need to clean their teeth before you kiss them.

They will not wake up saying "omg i'm dying to go to the toilet"