Must rant before I kill my mother

[42_42_42]

Wow. Um. Yeah. I really don't know what to say. Here I am, 32, with both ovaries gone. We've been TTC for about 2 years before removal of my 2nd ovary. If the IVF (w/ donor eggs from my sis) works, we'll be first time parents around the time I'm 35 (having to save up the money). I had no idea that was too old.

[Der Cute]

Mom, I understand your concern is for having grandchildren.

At this time, children are not feasible. End of story. Now, did you like the sweater I made last week?

No more talk to her, just state the facts and don't let her get you mad when she's going on "zomg I want grandkids zomg please yabber blargle" Just be factual, to the point and change subjects quickly.

Forever, I didn't want kids. Then I did. After having this little guy, I can see WHY I wasn't so eager in the first place. Not regretting it, just thinking, "hmm, I was kinda right way back when". He's so cute when he's asleep, or when he's calm. When he's screaming, o deity, please put the Quiet Spell on him.

Cutenoob

[Sonoma]

I'm (nearly double your age), and the only grandchild my Mom's getting from me is the fuzzy kid that's serving as my avatar. She does like her grandkitty.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Wow..most people are lamenting the state of the world today when 21 year olds in college who aren't even dating anyone get pregnant. You sure she lives in this century?

My old manager at Store2 (and Store1, come to think of it) had her first kid around 38, I think. She just had her second (or she's due soon...I forget); she'd be around 40 or 41 now.

[AdminAssistant]

My mom just asked me if the SO and I have talked about marriage yet. I'm only 26, he's only 25, and we started dating in January. (For the record, we have, but we both want to wait a while. I'd like for us to live together a good 6 months-1 year before getting engaged.)

Mom doesn't getting naggy about it, and it's all good-natured and sweet. But, she only has one full time grandchild* and she's made it very clear that she wants more. BIL got snipped after my nephew was born, so I'm all that's left. (Sis doesn't help, since she insists that Nephew "needs cousins.")

* My sister's stepdaughter doesn't spend much time with her dad for whatever reason. She's a very sweet little girl (10 years old), but I think the birth mother tries to keep her away from BIL.

[Mishi]

If you don't want kids, that's perfectly okay! Maybe you could diplomatically raise the idea of her fostering some children as substitute grandkids?

[shankyknitter]

Mishi she doesn't want to raise anymore kids, otherwise I would suggest it. No she wants grandkids that she can play with then give back. Best I can tell is that she views it as a measure of success as a mother if I want to be a mother.

Some people should not be parents, I am one of those people and I accept that. Just wish she would before I move back home for the summer. Though the back up plan is saying screw it and telling her I'm a lesbian. That ought to get her to leave me alone for at least a couple months before she thinks about artificial insem.

[Andara Bledin]

Nah, don't lie. That'll just open a can of worms further down that likely won't be worth the peace it brings you right now.

I wonder if there's a "big brother/sister" type of organization for grandparents looking to spoil young kids...

^-.-^

[Cat]

I think my parents have given up on being grandparents....my mom used to volunteer at a hospital with holding babies.....but stopped. She even refers to my cats are grandcats.

Now, my stupid aunt, I mentioned he before...she is the one who thinks I should change my cousin's son's diaper "for practice." Ewww.

No children for me. Not now, not ever.

I have made the rule that for every family member who says I *must* have kids, I get a kitten. So far, I have not had to act on it.

[tropicsgoddess]

There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids or to get married. Each to their own. Your mom should understand that,but from the looks of things either she's desperate (for whatever reason) for you to get married and have kids or she just has the 1950's attitude on that subject.