so a glanced over at my gf's laptop

[Pony_Boy]

and she's intently looking at engagement rings!!!

[draggar]

Hint hint?

When it comes to hints, at least guys have the luxury of playing stupid.

[Jester]

Now there are many questions here.

Have the two of you discussed marriage?

Was she making it so she knew you would see her screen?

Is it possible she was just enjoying window shopping, the way I might check out Ferrari's website?

[Plaidman]

Why the freak out? You have someone that loves you enough that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. That is incredible thing. I'm jealous.


She could be given you hints. Or she just might looking at the jewery. Or she's helping a male friend find a ring to get engaged himself.

[r2cagle]

*clink clink*

Hear that? Them's the shackles, babe....

Just kidding, but marriage isn't that bad.

[Cat]

Some girls just like looking at shiny things I was exchanging my ring at Kohls and my bf and I looked at the wedding rings, just commenting on them.


Don't sweat til she looks at dresses (or buys one)

[Plaidman]

Just kidding, but marriage isn't that bad.

Indeed. Few things pisses me off more then someone gets mad or scared that their others would want to *gasp* spend their life together. They never seem to realize how F***ing lucky they are to have someone that loves them that much.

Greedy spoiled bastards the bulk of them are.

[AdminAssistant]

My BF was the one who practically dragged me into a jewelry shop. Not that I don't want to get engaged (when is he gonna asskkkkkkk?????), but the thought of sitting there looking at and handling expensive jewelry freaked me out something awful.

[BookstoreEscapee]

They never seem to realize how F***ing lucky they are to have someone that loves them that much.

Well, that all depends on how long you've been together...

Not that I don't want to get engaged (when is he gonna asskkkkkkk?????),

Why don't you ask him?

[Jester]

Indeed. Few things pisses me off more then someone gets mad or scared that their others would want to *gasp* spend their life together. They never seem to realize how F***ing lucky they are to have someone that loves them that much.

Greedy spoiled bastards the bulk of them are.

Ah, but you forget that oftentimes, half of the couple wants to get engaged far more than the other half. Sometimes way too quickly.

True story: my best friend Neets was dating Golf Boy for years, after I set them up because I was sick of the complete raging douchebags she was dating at the time. She was starting to get on his back about the whole marriage thing, to the point where they even broke up for a week or two. At which point I jumped in with the best advice I have ever given her. I told her quite simply to back the fuck off and relax. He would ask her when he was ready, and if she pushed him into it, he would either bolt or, if they did get married, he might well resent how it went down. She thought about it and took my advice to heart. A while later (don't ask me how long), when Golf Boy was ready, he DID propose. I gave Neets away at the wedding. They have been happy every since.

By the way, when I say it was "the best advice I have ever given her," that's not my opinion. That's what she told me some time after the fact.

Marriages should not be entered into until both parties are ready, in my not so humble opinion.

[AdminAssistant]

Why don't you ask him?

He really wants to do the traditional romantic thing: surprise me, drop down on one knee, and ask. I think it would really hurt him if I asked first. Well, that, and we won't see each other again until the 4th anyway. *sigh* We're going on vacation in mid-July, and I have a feeling that he'll ask then. We're both ready to be engaged, even though we probably won't get married for a couple of years. I want to at least be All But Dissertation before we get hitched. I figure if our relationship can survive comps, it can survive anything.

But a lot of girls, myself included, just really like thinking about weddings, dresses, rings, etc. I've already bought bridal magazines. It's fun to think about what you want, what your wedding will be like, how will he propose, etc.

[Solumina]

I did freak J out a few years ago when I forgot that I had saved all of my internet tabs and he went to use my computer. He just kind of looked shocked and was unable to speak as we had recently started talking about maybe getting married, but as an in the future kind of thing (we had been together for less than 2 years and were both still students after all), not right then. I was helping my best friend's boyfriend pick out a ring for her and hadn't mentioned it to J as he hardly new the girl (she was an old friend from back home).

[Plaidman]

Didn't say that he had to marry her, just that he shouldn't be so scared that someone might want to marry him.

That's alot more then alot can even dream of.

[Jester]

True, Plaid, but a lot of time it is not fear of someone wanting to marry them, but the feeling that they are being trapped. Whether or not it's warranted, it is there. Oftentimes, men and women react quite differently to the idea of marriage. I think part of it is our different wiring, but part of it is definitely societal. I am not going to expound on that particular aspect of the whole thing, but suffice it to say that oftentimes the women will want to get married long before the man will, and too often will start hounding the man about it long before it is appropriate, in my opinion. And yes, the reverse is sometimes true as well. These roles don't always fall along the "typical" gender lines.

[iradney]

Jester is right - as soon as I backed off and quit nagging TTO about getting engaged, about 5 months later, he popped the question (and I still can't believe that I'm marrying this awesome man!).

Pony Boy, she might be looking for a friend. She might be looking for the whole "Sigh! So pretty! SO SHINY" aspect. She might be getting ideas of the style she prefers so that if/when you decide to propose, she can tell you/show you what kind of ring she likes.

Plus, even if you get engaged now, there's no rule saying you have to get married within a certain time frame. There is no universal expiry on an engagement.