I may get arrested for murder.

[Squeaksmyalias]

I do hope that you folks weren't LITERALLY sitting around waiting for this update. Since, you know, it's a beautiful Saturday on a holiday weekend, and I would hope you would have better things to do. Hell, I wish *I* had better things to do....but that's another story.

Nope, I went to take pictures, I returned when I saw a vodka post, then I notice there were cookies here. *passes over plate of cookies* You missed the fight it was great.

I agree you are a good dude. She is lucky to have you around.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I do hope that you folks weren't LITERALLY sitting around waiting for this update. Since, you know, it's a beautiful Saturday on a holiday weekend, and I would hope you would have better things to do. Hell, I wish *I* had better things to do....but that's another story.

Oh, no.

I took a nap.

---
Frankly, I'd have less of a problem with the age or the moving in so soon separately. The two together is what really gets me. But not actually knowing the people involved, I can't really make a judgment.

[Jester]

She is lucky to have you around.

Try convincing a teenager that she is lucky to have a somewhat overprotective uncle around when she believes that now that she is an adult, she should be allowed to do whatever she wants without any questions from anyone.

But thank you for the thought.

Frankly, I'd have less of a problem with the age or the moving in so soon separately. The two together is what really gets me. But not actually knowing the people involved, I can't really make a judgment.

I now know the two people involved, and I can't say it has set my mind at ease. The fact that he can't or won't see why people have a problem with either or both of those still bothers me. I would have been much happier if he had said he understood why people were freaked by the two factors, but he personally didn't care, but he honestly couldn't see why anyone would think it is a big deal. This to me is not the sign of a mature man.

That being said, my mind is slightly more at ease than it was. Which is why he is now dubbed Mr. Tolerable.

But I shall be watching. Oh yes, I shall be watching.

The one saving grace in all of this is that even those people who really don't care for him couldn't really see him being violent towards a woman...the worst they could say was that he seemed a bit controlling, which he did strike me as, to a degree. But anyone with as healthy an ego as he has is going to want to be in control. The fact that he is both a bouncer and a manager at a bar speaks to that aspect of his personality. But the not-violent-to-women part is good. Because I would hate to have to follow through on my threat to break bones he didn't know he had, considering he and I are the same height, but he is still twice my size.

[RestaurantDude]

I do hope that you folks weren't LITERALLY sitting around waiting for this update. Since, you know, it's a beautiful Saturday on a holiday weekend, and I would hope you would have better things to do. Hell, I wish *I* had better things to do....but that's another story.

I was sitting on the dock, actually, watching boats and ducks go by.

Thank you. Not everyone thinks so, so I appreciate it.

I can see how some may see you coming off as, well, pushy, I guess... But, she is lucky to have you looking out for her, even if she doesn't realize it.

[Jester]

I was sitting on the dock, actually, watching boats and ducks go by.

Not watching the tiiiiiide drift away? Or wasting tiiiiiime?

But, she is lucky to have you looking out for her, even if she doesn't realize it.

I think she probably does realize it. More to the point, when shit goes down (involving Mr. Tolerable or anything else), she DOES realize it, and that is what's important.

I can see how some may see you coming off as, well, pushy, I guess...

Pushy, obnoxious, loud, crude, rude, irritating, arrogant, annoying, asshole, prick, overbearing, unbearable, jerk, shithead, self-righteous, sanctimonious, dickhead.....

All those sentiments have, at various times, been used to describe me. At various times, I HAVE been all of those. But generally speaking, the people who describe me as such, who don't like me, are people I don't have time for anyway. I learned a long time ago that I can't possibly please everyone or make everyone like me, so I really don't bother being anyone buy myself. As myself, I am opinionated and expressive, and will often say things that people don't agree with or like. As a drunk, I often do and say profoundly stupid shit. Those who know me know that I am more the former than the latter, and they're cool with it. Those who don't know me and don't care to get to know me because they have made up their mind about me....so be it. To be rude....fuck 'em. My life will go on, and it does.

Frankly, I don't care if Mr. Tolerable likes me or not. He seems like a pleasant enough fellow, but we are in many ways very opposite, and I am guessing I am one of those people that he doesn't care too much for, somewhat personally and definitely professionally. But getting him to like me is not my job. Protecting my niece and her interests is. As long as I can do that, his opinion of me, good or bad, is moot.

That's just the kind of rude irritating prick I am.

[shankyknitter]

I didn't sit around waiting either, I dropped off the cookies and sofa and went to work.

Glad he's been found tolerable. I'd still watch the controlling bit closely though. Speaking as someone in the same age group-ish as Princess (I'm barely legal to drink) she might have been subconsciously looking for a financially secure sorta controlling person. Especially since her father's been gone such a short amount of time. It'd be really easy for someone to take advantage of that desire.

[Jester]

It certainly would.

One thing that bothers me (among some others) is that not only can Mr. Tolerable not see any correlation between the tragic death of her father and her hooking up with a man his age, he can't even see why other people would see the correlation. In some ways, he is socially clueless, or in denial....or possibly just full of shit. Although after meeting him, I suspect the former more than the latter.

[RestaurantDude]

Not watching the tiiiiiide drift away? Or wasting tiiiiiime?

There may have been a bit of that as well.

[tollbaby]

Well, I'm glad it went.... satisfactorily, if not extremely well. Too bad that Princess couldn't trust you to do your own thing, but hopefully she'll learn with time

I'm glad he turned out not to be a douche, even if he is a bit clueless Being somewhat socially clueless myself, I can kind of empathize. I know I can be extremely frustrating to deal with sometimes.

[Jester]

Well, he seems to be a little douchey, apparently.

Little Red said that when Princess and Mr. Tolerable were at Red's apartment getting more of Princess's stuff, the two of them were basically mocking me. With Princess it's one thing....it's her maturity level, and besides, she was not there. Everything she knows about what was said comes from Mr. Tolerable. And that is what vaguely bothers me....because he is either clueless or manipulative. Because it seemed they were acting like things I said I had heard about him from other people (including his friends) were actually my opinions of him. Either he wasn't really paying attention--totally possible--or he manipulated the facts (translation: lied) when he recounted them to Princess.

Ah, whatever. My only concerns here are for Princess's well-being and her happiness. If he can take care of that, my ego is more than healthy enough to take a little bruising. Of course, if this shit turns Princess against me or causes her not to trust me or somesuch, that WOULD hurt. And he would have earned himself an enemy that he doesn't yet realize he really doesn't want.

We shall see, boys and girls. We shall see.

[Flying Grype]

Rrrrrgh. I just read through this whole thing, and... see, I knew about sex before I was a legal adult, I knew that sex was something people would do bad things to each other over. I knew that adults could take advantage of younger people in a sexual manner. I am baffled that a nineteen-year-old girl would be so ignorant about her own safety and the world around her. You need to learn those things before you go all starry-eyed and unable to listen to reason.

Keep on keeping on, Jester, and document everything. I would not be surprised if this guy was playing naive and socially clueless.

[Zellie Crescent]

I just have one question, I don't think anyone's asked it yet which is kinda weird. Did she ask to move in with him, or did he ask her to move in with him?

[Solumina]

I was kind of wondering the same thing.

To be honest it seems like she is looking for a bit of stability (and generally older men are viewed as more stable and reliable) but she still wants someone that has the same idea of fun that she has (which is still in the "Wooo!!! Lets party!" phase, hence the immature guy). The only thing that really seems out of place here is why they are moving in together, unless they are both so immature that they haven't thought past "Yay we will see each other all the time!", and not matter how immature or naive the guy is it isn't normal for anyone over 25 to move in with someone without thinking things through a bit more than that and that plus how you described him acting in your little meeting raises some questions for me. Not that he would treat her badly or anything but just that there is a piece of this puzzle that I can't quite put my finger on (and I'm obnoxiously curious and want to know everything so not knowing what it could be is bothering me).

[poofy_puff]

From what has been said by Jester about both of them, it seems that they are a pretty good match. They are both "responsible" when it comes to pragmatic things like work and paying bills, and they are both immature when it comes to emotional things like relationships and putting up appearances (referencing the part about how the guy is clueless about what other people would think about the age difference and moving in together so soon).

It goes back to something that was said early in this thread about how men who hook up with much younger ladies are either predatory, or at the level of an early twenty-something-year-old themselves. It seems that the latter phenomenon is at work here.

As for the "father figure" theory...I think that is over-rated in this case. Princess' father died recently and it sounds like they had a good relationship. If I were in her place, I'd be totally squicked out by the idea of having sex with or shacking up with a "father figure", but that's just me.

[BookstoreEscapee]

As for the "father figure" theory...I think that is over-rated in this case. Princess' father died recently and it sounds like they had a good relationship. If I were in her place, I'd be totally squicked out by the idea of having sex with or shacking up with a "father figure", but that's just me.

A lot of people who do that sort of thing don't realize that's what they're doing. (Not saying whether she is or isn't; I don't know.)