Damn, Damn, Damn, DAMN! (request for prayers)

[lupo pazzesco]

I just got a phone call while at work. My cousin's 10 week old baby has died. He was premature, fought and fought and finally made it home and just graduated out of preemie sized baby clothes. My cousin came home last night and found him not breathing. Prayers for Keaden Douglas and his parents would be greatly appreciated. I need to go take 5 minutes, compose myself and get back to work, since I'm technically acting manager today. Will cry later.

[Exaspera]

Oh how sad. Prayers on their way.

[Mikkel]

I'm so sorry.

[Caffienated_Caramel]

That is so sad, I send prayers

[Der Cute]

Hugs to everyone. Death is not an easy thing (I'm sincere)

[dendawg]

We don't really know each other that well Lupo, but you and your family will be in my prayers.

[Jangles the Moon Monkey]

I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you and your family.

[tropicsgoddess]

OMG...I'm so so sorry to hear that. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[Taboo]

I'm so so sorry. *big hugs*

[Mishi]

So, so sorry!

[lupo pazzesco]

Extra little wonderful tidbit o'joy. Apparently CPS steps in when a child dies, and because he didn't die in a hospital, with doctors around him and was in the home, the death is suspicious. As such, they've removed my cousin's other child, her daughter from her care pending a full investigation, despite doctors, nurses, police AND the CPS rep on site saying there didn't look to be any foul play.

So, she lost her son, and now she can't see her daughter. My aunt, her mother, asked if she could have custody of the girl, but was told not without a background check, but given that it's a holiday weekend, well, IF they're lucky, CPS MIGHT be able to start investigating on Monday, but most likely Tuesday.

Yep. Definitely crying now. And feeling helpless and horrible. I know there is standard protocol and everything, and logically it makes sense because CPS is there to protect children, but really? Really?

I need a drink. Or something sweet. Or something.

[tropicsgoddess]

Damn, that just sucks. Here's some choco-tinis, lupo.

[AriGriffin]

*hugs*

[lupo pazzesco]

Thanks, I've got a little over half a bottle of wine in me right now. Which led to some thoughts. I apologize in advance for any incoherence.

Thing is, I never got a chance to meet the baby. He was born while I was all the way out in Houston. I found myself partly saddened, but partly relieved at that fact. Should I be relieved that it, in theory, doesn't hurt as much for me as, for example, my mom? She held him. Cuddled him while he slept, and took pictures of him. She got to fuss over him, he's more real, more tangible to her than he is to me, if that makes any sense. yet, I find myself (stupidly) looking at the last batch of pictures my mom sent me of him last week. And I'm almost unbearably saddened by the fact that I never got to hold him while he slept or fuss over him. He's sort of an abstract concept to me, that feels real, but not.

he's so tiny. He looks like a baby doll, he's that tiny. But that abstract concept is photographed with his parents smiling down at him. There's a photo of my mom cradling him in one arm, smiling down at him. I guess that makes it more real, and more painful because once again my family is being torn apart by a tragedy, which I feel apart from because I'm so far away. Almost feels as though I don't really have a right to cry over him, or feel sorrow at the loss because it's not as deep of a loss to me as it is to others I'm related to. Am I being petulant? Yes, in a way. I feel hypocritical to be crying, but it's more grief over the fact that those I care about are in pain and there isn't a thing I can do for them. It's a weird little emotional place I'm finding myself in right now.

And I should stop typing now, and step back from they keyboard.

[Aethian]

*snugs hard*