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What's your zombie plan?

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  • #16
    I'd have no problems in a ZA situation. I have watched enough people screwing up in them to know how to handle myself.

    Step 1: Report to nearest shopping mall for looting. Not generic looting of things like electronics that will have no value. Head straight to Excalibur Cutlery or its local equivalent, and get the sharpest, easiest to use, and longest blade you can handle. Be sure to sharpen it to the point that it can take off limbs, heads, torsos, etc. Fleeing morons in ZA movies NEVER have good close range weaponry, and usually resort to firearms that run out of ammunition at key moments.

    Step 2: Procure a solid, heavy, vehicle for supply runs as necessary. Modify as able to zombie-proof. There may be a chance you feel the urge to go rescue someone or raid the local video store for something to watch during the ZA, and its best to do this in a vehicle that will reduce your exposure while in it. This may also require activating the childproof locks on some vehicles to keep stupid companions from getting out of the car before its clear to do so.

    Step 3: Proceed to nearest prison and assist in a jail break. This has a couple purposes, as follows:
    1 - The now free prisoner population will do what the morons in the ZA films do, go to the same locations, and either get eaten by zombies or kill them. Either way, two birds with one stone.
    2 - The now relatively prisoner-free prison likely has a generator for emergencies, water supply, and most importantly, zombie-proof exterior walls, provided you keep the front gate secured.
    3- With the assistance of the less-escape-inclined residence, you can convert the exercise yard into farmable soil, and start growing food safe inside the walls.
    If said reluctant residence prove to be more annoying than the zombies, refer them to the item acquired back in step 1.

    Step 4, assess your companions.
    If you have the stereotypical, 'I dont want to die a virgin' type, feed them to the zombies at your first opportunity. If the ZA is short lived, you will have chlorinated the gene pool a bit, making it better for everyone.

    If you have any ex or active military, verify rank. Usefulness is inversely proportional to the distance from approximately E4-E6 pay grade, or lower to mid-rank NCOs. Anything below lacks experience, and anything above starts spending too much time at a desk to be useful in the field anymore.

    More generic companions, observe for priorities. If any priority other than survival of the group, or at least themselves is shown, direct them to the nearest zombie induction facility. They will wind up there anyway, but at least you and the others will not be dragged in with them.

    If you have followed these steps, you are now safe from all but stupidity on the part of your companions, (which should be kept to a minimum if you followed step 4 at all), inside a mostly zombie proof facility, properly armed, and with a vehicle to escape in or perform rescue/food runs in to local stores that weren't cleared out by looters prior.

    In defense of the films, the things in 28 Days/Weeks were not zombies. Closest equivalent for them would be rabies victims. All movies where they are genuinely zombies, they all shamble or move at a slow jog at fastest.
    Last edited by terakhan; 07-29-2010, 06:47 AM.
    Something kind of sad about the way that things have come to be.
    Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?

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    • #17
      I'm not sure about winter being an asset for us living. I mean, yes the zombies freeze, but you have to worry now about warmth, sickness, and limited food supply until spring. Not to mention very limited mobility in the unlikely, but plausible, event that some of the Zeds make it to your location with out freezing solid.


      And terakhan, Your plan is excellent.... though for my own safety remind me not to hole up with you.... I'd probably end up being expendable.... I am not okay with being expendable.... It makes me cranky..
      "I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
      -Red

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      • #18
        Consider though, you are demonstrating a survival instinct over something stupid like filming the zombies, a la Diary of The Dead. I only mentioning removing people who behave like morons in a ZA.

        Depending on the zombification modus operandi, frozen zombies could be even more dangerous than normal ones.

        If its a spreadable zombification, you could wind up with zombie-cicles thawing in spring, getting picked off by scavengers, then dealing with psycho animals like in Resident Evil, on top of the shamblers. And personally, I would take Cujo over one of those bald zombie mutts any day.
        Something kind of sad about the way that things have come to be.
        Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?

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        • #19
          i just want to thank you all for making me want to find the ready store website agian and look at the 72 hour kits again.
          mine involves the near by middle school. it has a centralized structure, metel fire doors, a cafeteria accessible only from the centralized buildings and a nice library
          a few boars over the window in the main office and its a very secure location.
          i just hope the day of the dead zombies never show up

          *edit*
          ohh....

          this would be awesome to have
          http://www.thereadystore.com/emergen...-acre-seedsafe
          Last edited by Sliceanddice; 07-30-2010, 07:25 AM.

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          • #20
            Am I being annoyingly practical if I ask who in this thread actually has the recommended emergency stores in their home?

            And I don't have any real ZA plan. Mine's more for what I'd do if I end up in the middle of an urban fantasy story, facing the Unselighe. (None of the heros in books every have chain mail or a cast-iron fry pan at home, it would be considered improbable, so I'm up on them).

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            • #21
              While I'm lacking in firearms I do have two first aid kits and a decent collection of knives, riot gear, blankets, chainmaille, and other camping/survival implements in the apartment, but no, I do not keep a bug-out-bag. In my trunk I do have heavily insulated cover-alls that kept me warm and mobile while working at the local airport during the winter, as well as 3 or four flashlights and your basic roadside toolkit so if the zeds start marching and I'm not close to home my starter weapon would probably be a tire iron until I found a wrecked out police cruiser (oh, the things you learn playing GTA) or could get to a friend's house who could supply me with proper zombie hunting gear.

              Terakhan, I've been thoroughly discussing my zombie plan with my main organizer and I've come to the conclusion that if a Resident Evil or 28 Days Later ZA happens it's going to be a complete nightmare. Romero said only people are zombies and the Zeds won't even mess with animals, but I remember getting pecked to death by crows while playing RE 1 and part of our plan involves using deer and local livestock as a source of food while waiting for riots and zombie activity in the city to die down. I told him flat out, if I have to kill an infected deer then there's no way in hell I'm eating or wearing any part of it!
              "Ride the spiral to the end, it may just go where no one's been. Spiral out, keep going..." -Lateralus

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              • #22
                Quoth Magpie View Post
                And I don't have any real ZA plan. Mine's more for what I'd do if I end up in the middle of an urban fantasy story, facing the Unselighe. (None of the heros in books every have chain mail or a cast-iron fry pan at home, it would be considered improbable, so I'm up on them).
                There's a reason I've got cast iron pans, as well as a cast iron camping waffle maker. Pans for defense of home, Waffle maker for trips to the store or such since it's small, portable, and easier to swing in close quarters. Also in case of Unselighe invasion I suggest getting a protection stone amethyst or diamond would be best.
                Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

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                • #23
                  Quoth AdminAssistant View Post
                  We don't need any of that in Kansas, tyvm. Although, they wouldn't have much work to do in Johnson County, now that I think about it.
                  Oh god I used to live in Johnson county. Imagine Jersey Shore in the P&L District.
                  Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

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                  • #24
                    Quoth shankyknitter View Post
                    Also in case of Unselighe invasion I suggest getting a protection stone amethyst or diamond would be best.
                    My plans need to change, because I no longer live with a rowan in the backyard. I know where the closest ones on campus are though, so I might deal with it that way. Have you read any of the SERRAted edge books? Specifically Born To Run. What the mortal has seems implausible, but then I compared it to what I would have.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Whiskey View Post
                      Oh god I used to live in Johnson county. Imagine Jersey Shore in the P&L District.
                      Ugh, they can have P&L and the Sprint Center, as long as they stay away from my beloved Westport and Brookside.

                      I suppose that my fellow grad students and I would hole up in one of the humanities buildings on campus. It was originally designed to be a parking garage, so it's pretty sturdy.
                      "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                      Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                      Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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                      • #26
                        I actually have most of the carpentry kit (powered and non), and fabrics-work kit that I'd need. I know how to make a campfire, and could if necessary construct a fireplace or a stove from either mud bricks or actual bricks, and a hunk of scrap steel or iron.

                        I don't have the short-term survival stuff, in general. Which, yes, means that I'd be relying on others for immediate survival while I was in the secured area, constructing things we'd need to survive winter.
                        Seshat's self-help guide:
                        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                        • #27
                          Die Horribly, cause then, well, if things aren't going to plan then it's looking up for me
                          I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

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                          • #28
                            Quoth RayvenQ View Post
                            Die Horribly, cause then, well, if things aren't going to plan then it's looking up for me
                            Yea, I'm pretty certain that with my (lack of) skills with weapons of any kind, I'll be in the largest group here:

                            Zombie Apocalypse Graph



                            Eric the Grey
                            In memory of Dena - Don't Drink and Drive

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                            • #29
                              Additional notes:
                              - Eliminate any and all zombies showing a higher than average intelligence or coherence. Zombies are bad enough, but zombies with problem solving skills are hell. (Land of the Dead)

                              - Once fortified and safe, do not abandon said safety for the theory that you can safely reach a spot where zombies may have not spread to yet. This is like playing Deal or No Deal, having a briefcase with 100k in it, and taking the chance that one of the last couple briefcases will have 1 Mil and not $100. (Day of the Dead)

                              - If one of your companions does something ridiculously stupid, reprimand them in a safe area, not out in the ZA common area. (Shaun of the Dead)

                              - If for any reason whatsoever, you have a zombie/infected captured for study, place enough security around it to make taking Fort Knox look easy. This will both prevent its escape, and any potential visitors from stopping by. (28 Weeks Later)

                              Finally, my personal idea: Locate someone with a great deal of electronics experience and a cache of grenades, C4, or whatever. All members going out into the ZA for any reason will be fitted with what will be called the Heartstopper. Explosives go off when they stop getting signals that the heart is beating. Said team member gets swarmed by zombies and killed, not only will they not be coming back as one, there will be a lot less of the zombies afterwards.
                              Something kind of sad about the way that things have come to be.
                              Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                I figure if it happens tomorrow, all I have to do is last a week.

                                This heat and humidity will reduce them to a paste in record time.

                                Either go someplace hot so the zombies fall apart, or go someplace cold so they freeze solid.

                                Also, I am a really good shot. However, I have to worry a bit because I am usually one of the first people who get killed in paintball. So, if I am a warmie with a gun, good. If I am a zombie without one, not so good.

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