Tales of the Gentle Giant.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Ugh. I hate when people say "oh be a man suck it up"-- they're trying to express "hey be tough" but assigning it as a gender role! Which is ridiculous. "Tough" isn't the exclusive provenance of men, nor is emotions and feeling emotions the exclusive provenance of women. You are a human being, and as such entitled and expected to have emotions. If you don't, you're considered not-quite-right-- and advised to see a health-professional of some sort. I'm glad you can step back a bit from what must be a horrible set of feelings to have, instead of being consumed by them. Take it easy and try to spend time with other people who love and care about you, just to reinforce the idea that you aren't unlovable.
(Also, if this is coming off as fratching, I intend it not to be. ... Let me know if it is, and if I can fix it. )
I feel bad that you feel bad, Mytical, and I hope you feel better in due time-- and the Ex.

[Mytical]

Warning (language)





Damn, I am starting to spiral. I refuse to spiral, I was blasted laughing my head off ten minutes ago. Just wish it would go die in a fire (depression that is). Life is ok right now, I had a lot of fun, been more outgoing, finally breaking out of my shell. Not to mention I am at work. This cloud needs to get the hell away from me, cause though some things SUCK, life is GOOD.

[Peppergirl]

We are getting that coffee THIS WEEK, man. I'm not gonna let you go down like this.

[KiaKat]

Yes. Do. Because I'm too far away, and can't do it myself. Drag him out, do whatever you have to.

[Whiskey]

Damn, I am starting to spiral. I refuse to spiral, I was blasted laughing my head off ten minutes ago. Just wish it would go die in a fire (depression that is). Life is ok right now, I had a lot of fun, been more outgoing, finally breaking out of my shell. Not to mention I am at work. This cloud needs to get the hell away from me, cause though some things SUCK, life is GOOD.

read this over and over and over and over

[superhotelworker]

Mytical:
Good news is. I'll keep sending you the most random stuff :P Pixels, stupid stuff. I will try and keep ya smiling. Pepper, buy him a cup for me too! I don't think I'm close enough to go get him some.

[Peppergirl]

He is less than an hour from me. I will bodily drag him out and about if I have to.

And he know's to be skeered of me.

[Mytical]

Sometimes people got to look over me. During his depression phase of his bipolar swing my father has all my life put me down, and pounded into my head how worthless I am (even to the point of calling me a Worthless ****** Bastard) because he swore up and down I was the result of my mother cheating on him with a black person.

I hate that I let it get to me, and drive me to chronic depression, despite how hard I've fought to get a much more positive attitude. Sometimes it goes away fast, other times it lingers.

Within the last 3 months he has been taking his medicine and has been much better. I am hoping he stays on them. Meh listen to me whine, there are people who are a LOT worse off out there.

[superhotelworker]

Maybe there are people worse off Mytical, but you have a right to feel how you do sweetie.
My dad constantly told me how stupid I was. On top of a teacher doing that.. well It's kind of been drilled to my head. I know how ya feel.

[Mytical]

An interesting thing has been happening (at least interesting to me) around here. My nickname, which I had here for awhile, is changing. I honestly forget how the 'gentle giant' started, but I kind of prefer it to the new ones I am getting. Yes, as in plural.

Hun, Honey, and Sweetheart (the last usually in the "You're such a sweetheart" manner). About half of the women here have started calling me one of these. Also, despite me objecting that I am straight..have started to try to fix me up with 'a guy they know'. Six 'invites' in the last two weeks. The first few I shrugged off as teasing, since I joke around with them a lot.

Guess I am gonna have to start talking to their chest to get my point across or something.

Hehe the names don't bother me that much, to be honest. Just wish they would stop trying to fix me up .

[Mytical]

Ever thought you over think things too much? Over analyze? Sometimes my brain gets in the way..if that makes any sense to anybody..anywhere. I study people, sometimes too much (one of the reasons I make an excellent security officer hehe). I always am taking things I said, or did, analyzing them..and thinking. "I could have done this, and that better. Or better yet even this, that, and the other thing.." to death.

Sometimes I will apologize to somebody, and they have no clue why I would. They didn't think I did something wrong, I did. Because I over analyzed the situation in my head.

I don't over think things before they happen, like arguments, only after. Hehe if I did, I would probably be better off. I look at things from every angle, and sometimes have a very hard time making decisions because of it. Open minded is good, but if it paralyzes you from making a decision, then not so much. I can have laser like focus one minute, and oooo shiny go chasing after something totally different the next. Except when it comes to when I think I made a mistake, or trying to understand where somebody else is coming from. Then I grab on like a bulldog and just can not let it go sometimes.

I've been told it is because I am a 'people pleaser (spelling?)'. Maybe, but I think it is common courtesy. I have my rules and boundaries, and I stick to them. Though I admit, I take people at face value. I believe them, until I have reason not to. Since I study people, I can tell (for the most part) if I am being snowed face to face.

Bleh rambling again. Man do I ramble a lot or what?

[Mishi]

Don't worry, I do exactly the same thing! Especially online, where there aren't vocal tones or body language to help convey extra meanings.

[Wenchie]

An interesting thing has been happening (at least interesting to me) around here. My nickname, which I had here for awhile, is changing. I honestly forget how the 'gentle giant' started, but I kind of prefer it to the new ones I am getting. Yes, as in plural.

Hun, Honey, and Sweetheart (the last usually in the "You're such a sweetheart" manner). About half of the women here have started calling me one of these.

Should I stop calling you hon?

Ever thought you over think things too much? Over analyze? Sometimes my brain gets in the way..if that makes any sense to anybody..anywhere. I study people, sometimes too much (one of the reasons I make an excellent security officer hehe). I always am taking things I said, or did, analyzing them..and thinking. "I could have done this, and that better. Or better yet even this, that, and the other thing.." to death.

I do that too... and then I stress myself out 'cause I'm worried about something I could have done better even though it might not even be a problem... I have a tendency to worry myself into a downward spiral until I can't see anything positive anymore.

I'm trying to get better.

Talking things out with people (instead of picking it apart internally) is helping me a lot on that. So... if it would help you, you know that I'm always here to talk to.[/QUOTE]

He is less than an hour from me. I will bodily drag him out and about if I have to.

Peppergirl, where do you live? I'm going to be visiting Mytical next week... and probably sometime in November too. And maybe more than that. Maybe I can actually get a chance to meet you too sometime!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Saying you don't have reason to complain or wish your life was better because there are people who have it worse is basically saying that only one person who ever lived has a right to wish his life was better.

I don't know who that person is, but it would be whoever's life sucked the most, ever.

So don't feel guilty for wishing things were better. Hell, don't feel guilty for complaining. Maybe others do have it worse, but you don't have their set of problems. You have yours. And you don't have to be happy about them.

[Mytical]

No hun, you are allowed. Just interesting that most females get really upset if you call them those names at work, yet here they are calling me them. It doesn't bother me that much, just kinda humorous I think