Tales of the Gentle Giant.

[Wenchie]

Well got a couple more "I know the PERFECT guy for you." at work today. . It is getting old, and I may have to end up going to HR over it. I can take a joke, but if this is a joke..it got old awhile ago. Saying what I am thinking other then that would lead to fratching, so..I'll leave it be.

Do I really need to come into your work and tell them that you're MINE and NOT gay? 'cause I will. Do you want me to show up Friday night or Saturday night?

If people can find happiness with each other in this crazy world, who cares about anything else. .

I very much agree.

Its all good . Normally I don't care what people think about me, but yeah it is getting on my nerves. Your right, right now even if it was them trying to fix me up with some random girl..I would be feeling the same. I may be shy, terribly terribly shy, but I'd rather deal with the person who might be interested then an intermediary.

If they were trying to fix you up with some random girl, I'D have issues with that. Mine mine mine mine mine! And you might be shy, but we've still managed to connect.

[Mytical]

I havn't been feeling very sociable today, and not sure when that might change. Just got word through another acquaintance that somebody very close to me passed away. Vehicle accident. What really is crappy, though, is that I am not 'allowed ' to go to the funeral. Their 'special other' does not want me there.

Here .. is the longer version.

I've always had more female friends then male friends. For some reason I always could communicate better with them. Growing up, however, one was almost like a sister to me. Sure we grew apart, as happens, but we kept in touch.

Girl finds guy. Great! I was happy she was happy. Girl tells me that guy hit her..I go have a chat with him. Tell him that if I ever hear he even thought about laying a hand on her..well you get the picture. 5 years passed, and from all I heard the guy was the sweetest nicest person on the planet to her after. Of course that may have been because Girl can handle herself, and also became a black belt

Because I got in his business, however, I am person non grata at the funeral. They were married, and I don't want to cause any more grief for friends and family by showing up unwanted.

So I got a little emo, and a lot of self doubt right now. Not feeling that sociable either. There are other factors..but most due to the severe depression I was feeling. So if I unplug for awhile..(ie don't answer PMs or Texts..don't log onto skype/etc) just know that I am dealing. I want to crawl into the darkest hole I can find.

[Wenchie]

Ugh. Because SHE got you involved in his business, she's now penalizing you by saying that you can't come to the funeral.... she's the one who got you involved by bringing up the fact that he hit her, and you were just being a supportive friend.

I'd go to the funeral. And if she says anything, you should just calmly reply back that you were just trying to protect her. And that you're there to pay your respects.

If she's a decent human being, she shouldn't even SAY anything to you at the funeral.

[Mytical]

In negotiations with my work..trying to move from 5 8 hr days to 4 10 hr days. I doubt they will go for it, but if they do it would be awesomeness.

[Mytical]

Where to begin. Not sure if it is the weather or the other issues I have (Diabetes and Nash), but have been feeling tired constantly. Not just fatigue, but to the bone tired.

Have been caught in the depression cycle at 'meh' for longer then normal also. Meh is not bad, just hard to care about anything. At all. At least it isn't the soul crushing or self hate depression. Can't care enough to have low self esteem. It's lasting much longer then normal, has settled in since the utter sadness of my friend passing passed (it's still there, as it will be for who knows how long..but it just doesn't seem to matter ).

I can't even get excited about my favorite holiday. Normally at this time of year I am racing to get candy, decorations, etc..and havn't even got the candy yet. Barely had the energy or desire to even post this, or anything else lately. Creativity is zero, even worse of a small talk person then usual. Everything, good or bad, is just Meh. Or Bleh. Take your pick.

I can't even seem to care about eating. No real appetite, and even when my stomach does growl..just can't seem to care if I eat or not. Meh, it will either go away or not, doesn't matter. Life will go on, as it always does.

[Wenchie]

lots of *hugs* for the Mytical!

[BlaqueKatt]

I wish I was that bad-ass.

It is not in any way "cool" or "bad-ass" to have to live with knowing you can lose who you are and control of your actions to the point of causing another human harm due to rage. It is terrifying, trust me on that.

My own husband is more than slightly afraid of me, and my anger/rage has never been focused on him. Sadly my family cannot get me to "back down"-only thing that stops me is a child-yes I have taken down my stepfather(6' and 150# former Army Ranger) when he was alive(I was all of 12 at the time), my sister, and my mom, as well as various friends that were in the unfortunate position of trying to get between myself and the object of my rage.

[Whiskey]

It is terrifying, trust me on that.
.

I "lost my temper" (in the actual sense of LOST IT) once, and after I had come back down to earth, I was absolutely terrified at what I was very easily capable of while having no control over myself.

I can't even seem to care about eating. No real appetite, and even when my stomach does growl..just can't seem to care if I eat or not. Meh, it will either go away or not, doesn't matter. Life will go on, as it always does.

I'm like this lately so

[Mytical]

Well. I gained some weight over the holidays (according to the scales), but had to move down to pants that have a 46 waist (was wearing 48's). Seeing as at one time I was snug in 52's..this thrills me (the 46's are a bit big even! 44's were too small though ). So wherever I gained weight at it wasn't the stomach or hips.

[Mytical]

Not sure if I have ever mentioned this before, but there may be a little known fact about me. A lifetime ago (or it feels like it), before I got the nickname 'Gentle Giant' ... when I was really really young..I was on the path to become a preacher. In fact, for a time I was called 'Little Preacher' by my church...and the preacher there would let me get up and do sermons.

Now something happened (won't rehash unless asked), and that path stopped for me a long time ago..but...

A little later in life, after I was done with my rebellious/occult phase..I found that people would come up and tell me their troubles. A few even said "You would make a good preacher", and yes I had the nickname "Father" for awhile. People would confess all kinds of things (sorry I can not and will not say what ). You know what though? It felt kind of good to be trusted like that.