Dating/Girl Horror Stories....

[Whiskey]

Ive been thinking about how to phrase this one, but its going to be extremely short.

I had a cosplayer (who played as Link from the Zelda series) tell me I could be "his Malon."

Just to be clear, he meant it in a sexual way. He wanted me to role play Malon. Having never played Zelda, I called my best friend (huuuuuuuuuuuge nerd) and asked him what in the blue hell that meant.

BFF: So what'd he say now?
Me: He said I could be "his Malon"
BFF: .......malon?
Me: Yeah, what?
BFF: Malon is a milkmaid in the game. Dude doesnt even think you're good enough to be Zelda.
Me: WHAT?

Me & cosplayer didn't really talk after that.

[AdminAssistant]

The vast majority of what you just said described ME.

Hey, I have good taste, what can I say?

Hmmm...I wonder how Fiance would feel about honeymooning in Key West??

[tacohuman]

several years ago i met a girl through an online dating site. she was the one who made the initial contact, and i was a bit dubious at first, as her profile had no pictures, but i figured what the hell. after all, looks aren't everything, and it was clear through our emails and then phone calls that we clicked. so we met, and not only was she ridiculously smart and funny, she was tall, gorgeous, and as an added bonus, a redhead. i do love a redhead. basically, she had almost everything i look for in a girl, and i was thinking i'd his the jackpot.

it continued to seem that way for the first couple of months. we were both recently out of long-term relationships, so we decided to take things slow, and for two months nothing more physical than kissing happened, even though it came to the point that we were spending almost every night together. one night after about two months i'd invited her over and i cooked dinner for her. afterwards we were talking, which progressed to making out, and eventually the clothes came off. without getting overly graphic, things of an...oral nature were occurring.

which you'd think would be awesome, right? it was.

until her cell rang.

and she stopped to answer it.

and then she left, citing an emergency with her roommate.

now, this was most definitely frustrating, but i was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. after all, maybe it was a legitimate emergency. she left with a promise to come over the next evening to pick things up where we left off.

the next morning i woke up to a long, rambling email in which she berated me for being so selfish, just sitting back and expecting her to take care of me (i didn't; she totally took that upon herself) without bothering to take care of her (which i gladly would have, had she given me the opportunity). i was so dumbstruck by this diatribe that seemingly came out of nowhere i didn't even reply or try to call her, and later that afternoon she called me to apologize.

it turns out that her roommate's boyfriend had abandoned her downtown, and so she had to go pick her up to take her home. once there they both started drinking and she was pretty wasted when she sent the email. i, as politely as i could, told her that i'd just gotten through dealing with four years of crazy and i wasn't prepared to handle that again, drunk or not. it would be best if we just parted amicably. i haven't seen nor talked to her since.

it all worked out in the end though. a few weeks later i met the girl i would eventually marry, and this november we celebrate our sixth anniversary.

[Jester]

Hmmm...I wonder how Fiance would feel about honeymooning in Key West??

It is a great island. And I can give you various helpful hints/advice if you do decide to do so. It wouldn't be the first time!

[jedimaster91]

Well, all I have to do is look across the room, make sure the children aren't around and flash the Victoria Secrets that I wear.

Naught but a towel works pretty well too.

[Lady J'ssem]

Don't really have any bad dating stories since I've never actually been on a proper date.

But my sister had one that was awful and hilarious to everyone. We were in a private Christian school in AL and she made friends with a guy who was into drama and fashion and stuff, like she is, (he eventually came out of the closet, unsurprisingly). He liked her though, and he invited her out on a date. Well, my parents insisted they go along, and the boy said it was fine... My parents took me and my other sister as well, just because.....

We were going to a chicken auction.

Yup. My sister's first date was a chicken auction. The boy bought her a hen. He didn't let her keep it, though, no he kept it and named it after her.

My sister's married now, but everytime we have a bad outting somewhere, we say, "At least its not a Chicken auction!"



As for types. My type of guy was always tall, skinny, with dark hair, and light eyes, with beautiful hands, fantastic sense of humor, smart, bit of a smart aleck, gamer geek, and artsy. (I love lovely hands on guys, I really do.) My fiance, who I love and adore and can't imagin my-self without? Really tall (not too hard since I'm 4'11 and he's 6'5), a bit overweight, long light brown/dark blonde hair, with dark blue eyes, most beautful hands I've ever seen on a guy, a razor wit and humor, more of a gamer geek then I am, and a writer.

[Argabarga]

I've never dated, but, does a total stranger of a woman smacking me on the ass while I was trying to watch a ballgame on the bar TV count?

[Misanthropical]

I have a type and I stick to it. Gotta be tall, preferably 6'0 or taller. Gotta be significantly bigger than me. Especially now that I'm working out and now in the 140 pound range, I'm not dating manorexics. I really like big muscular type, but since that seems shallow, all I really care is the guy has at least 50 or more pounds on me. If I can pick you up, it's a no-go. If I have more muscle tone than you do, absolutely not.

Oh, and to answer a previous question, no, bf did not go on the date with that girl. He doesn't do pity dates. He felt pretty deceived.

You stay away from my big guy, missy!

[blas]

No worries Mis I've got sons of my own. My bf, and a few of my coworkers.

[Jester]

I've never dated, but, does a total stranger of a woman smacking me on the ass while I was trying to watch a ballgame on the bar TV count?

Count for what? Good or bad story?

If you thought she was hot and you liked it, that is a good story.
If you thought she was a hosebeast and hated it, that is a bad story.

You tell us if it was good or bad!

[Taboo]

Man. I'm trying to think through my many terrible dates and decide which I should even post. There's just... so so many to chose from.

There was one guy who I met online; we went to a cafe for lunch. Seemed normal enough, we were just chatting about hobbies and so on, then all of a sudden he makes a comment about one of the girls at a table near us who is a little chubby but cute. Tells me that "people like that" shouldn't be allowed out in public. Our waitress, who is also a little larger, gives him a dirty look as she drops off our plates. He goes off on this rant about how disgusting it is for women (and only women, mind you) to be any bigger than twigs and how he shouldn't be forced to see them. I'm disgusted and pull out my wallet so I can just pay and get the hell out of there, and mouth a 'help me' at the waitress.

She comes over and "accidentally" drops the pot of hot coffee on his lap while pretending to refill his glass. He storms out, cursing out the girl at the other table who has no idea what's even going on, leaving me with the whole bill. I pay and tip the waitress $40 for being awesome.

[chrislb]

That's pretty funny. I have very little experience dating and what I do have is fairly bad. One of my former friends many years ago thought it would be funny to hook me up with a crazy woman. told me she was very nice and she was at first. then she would randomly get mad at me for things I didnt do. we lasted 2 weeks before I gave up and hid from her. she called frequently enough to where i had to change my number. scary

[Jester]

One of my former friends many years ago thought it would be funny to hook me up with a crazy woman. told me she was very nice and she was at first. then she would randomly get mad at me for things I didnt do.

And how is that different from every other woman?

[Magpie]

And how is that different from every other woman?

*smack* Some of us hold it all inside until you actually do something and we can justify it .

[Jester]

Some of us hold it all inside until you actually do something and we can justify it.

From my experiences and observations, "some" is actually a very small minority.

Just saying.