Dating/Girl Horror Stories....

[Solumina]

I have very few bad date stories, mostly just stories about my friends calling me while drunk to confess their undying love for me (and by friends I mean mostly the same person doing rather frequently, although there have been others, the oddest was the one that I had asked out a couple of weeks earlier and turned me down but hey he was a crazy face).

My worst relationship ever was back in high school, started near the end of sophomore year and lasted well into junior year. For the most part it went really well, she was the first girl I had ever dated and pretty much the only problem that we had was that her parents were kind of bigoted so we had to keep things pretty quiet. Then I found out that a few months into our relationship she started dating a guy that I thought was just a close friend.

When I confronted her she confessed that dating me was just a phase and mostly just rebelling against her parents (even though she was apparently too scared to let them find out about it) and that she was going to break it off but her boyfriend thought it was hot so she pretty much just strung me along. Bitch.

Worst date was kind of a group thing. I wasn’t in a relationship with the guy but it was pretty obviously a date, in that he asked me if I would go on a date with him that Friday (seems clear, yes?). Well my cousin M was in town so I asked if he would be okay with it being kind of a group thing. A few more people were invited so M wouldn’t feel left out and all was well. We went to the movies and my date and I sat next to each other and there was a little necking going on. We all hung out in the parking lot after the movie was over (because pretty much nothing that wasn’t age restricted was open and M was only 17).

I went with some friends to go bug the bouncer at the pool hall to see if she could come in with us. Bouncer said no freaking way. We came back to the cars. I look in my car to find my date making out with my cousin (he told her that I had said I wasn’t interested in a 2 date so he was fair game and well she was in her dumb slut phase so yay). D-bag got to find his own ride home and I had a little chat with M (who at least had the decency to say there was a misunderstanding and apologize to me). Oddly enough this guy is one of the ones who has called to confess his undying love.

[protege]

...and now one from POF...

For the past month or so, I'd been emailing a woman who lives not far from where I work. We seemed to get on OK, but she wanted to chat over the phone. Understandable, so I passed along my number. Didn't hear from her in about a week, Then she got pissed over a text I didn't get. I log onto the site, just to see what's up, and she's wondering where I'd disappeared to. I replied back that I hadn't seen a text (since my phone didn't buzz). Almost immediately, I get a reply stating that if I didn't get a text, I should have texted her back. Never mind that I *hate* to text, but How the hell would I have known that I didn't get a message? Sort of like the airport's famous "Did someone place something in your luggage without your knowledge?" question. When I tried to explain what I thought happened, she got upset, and said that I was wasting her time.

So far, I'm not really sure that I want to deal with her again. I mean, if she gets that upset over a missed text, who is to say that she's not going to flip out again. More aggravation than she's worth, and I get *enough* of that sort of thing at work.

[Solumina]

Well she sounds like a big ball of crazy, which never works in the long run.

[zombiequeen]

*hugs* Thank you! *cuddles stuffed animal* You're welcome to join me, it's quite comfy.

Good for your husband! My bf would insult/call my parents out/bad bad things for the stuff they've done. He DID manage to call my mom an idiot without her realizing it for her not standing up for me one time. It was awesome.

I think they are plotting behind our backs, it would make total sense. I'm just glad my mother has/had no way of contacting my ex, as I'm sure she actually would have. Might even have tried to get us back together. [Kind of personal, but you know the biggest reason she was upset about what he did? The fact it was my 'first time.' Not that he did it in the first place. But that it was my first time. Oh, and that we weren't married. Gee whiz, Mom, I'm sorry, you're right, I'll go marry my rapist first, thanks... ]

Yeah, I'm going to finish sewing this pillow, and then I'm joining you in the pile of blankets. I'll bring card games and stuffed animals too!

[TelephoneAngel]

Oh I got one.

I was nearly 40 and sitting minding my own business in a police station waiting to report a problem. Some young kid came in all full of himself and asked me if I wanted to come for a drink with him!

He was all of 14 years old if that!

[Whiskey]

(NSFW)So, on the site i peruse, theres a rating system. I probably just outed my site no stalking. Anyhow, it shows me who it could potentially be out of a number of options. It is always, without fail, the last person you want it to be. I click around and settle on one profile. Decent looking guy in reasonable shape, got a bit of wonk eye going on but eh, onto the reading.

I enjoy a healthy mix of the rock star / geek lifestyles.

Cool..

The sort of guy who can wax on about the latest horror flick or other
nerdtivity....

I love horror, wait what are those ellipses leading to.

...while snorting coke off of a stripper's thigh.

Awkward humor.. it happens..

I'm an excellent comic writer, a decent karaoke singer, and...

Comics! I love comics! Wait, more ellipses..

really great at sex. Really. I realize most men might say these sorts of
things, but I'm not just talking about the actual act of sex, I'm
talking about the entire experience. I LOVE giving a vast variety
of pleasures to women. Sex is one of the few adventures still left
in this world and there is nothing more exhilarating and exciting
then spending hours and hours physically exploring and pleasuring
someone with your hands and mouth. My partner's orgasms aren't a
side effect, they're the POINT. Nothing in this world turns me on
more then making a girl cum, except making her cum over and over
again. I'm also really great at not getting caught in the verbal
traps you sometimes run into when trying to talk about sex. I think
talking about sex with your partner to both find out what they like
/ dislike and because the talk itself can be a huge turn on.

....I am usually having sooo much sex with someone

I love everything about sex and pleasuring a woman. There's is
nothing I like better then touching and tasting someone as into
what we are doing as I am

I just



half of me wants to meet up with this guy just to hear him talk. The other half of me really likes not being roofied.

[telecom_goddess]

Wow I see your dilemma there....but hey I guess he gets points for honesty...if he is in fact being honest about being so good

[Whiskey]

Wow I see your dilemma there....but hey I guess he gets points for honesty...if he is in fact being honest about being so good

i've never met a guy who bragged that was anywhere near good in bed. He's probably a virgin.

[Whiskey]

OK WHAT THE SHIT. Can someone hold a 101 class in "how to make small talk"

I mean, I understand being awkward. But....... COME ON.

I left my browser open all night, as I do, and I woke up to this (my site allows IM's to/from members)

dude: hey
dude: I need to tell you something...
dude: BITCH!!!!!!!

O_O H'oookay thanks for letting me know I dodged a bullet.

Then theres this


[12:44:29 am]Guy:damn

[12:45:14 am]Whiskey:i know

[12:45:29 am]Guy:what do you mean you know?

[12:45:37 am]Whiskey:what do you mean damn

[12:47:08 am]Guy:your hot

[12:47:38 am]Whiskey:thanks

end of conversation.


I'm trying to go on dates here, because horror dates are awesome stories to tell (or good dates...? naaaaaah.) but this is what I'm working with here.

what the fuck

[Eireann]

Oh, hell, I have a few not-dating-but-dating-site stories.

I made it QUITE clear in my profile that I'm not interested in dating anyone with children. Furthermore, I'm not interested in dating anyone who wants to have children.

Yeah, you can guess what happened. One guy sent me a message that was so whiny, I could actually HEAR it. He wanted to know why I didn't want children. I didn't answer. I did keep his message, in case he tries to contact me again.

More recently, I got a REALLY condescending message from some asshole who - guess what! - has two kids. He told me that he liked my profile, but I might look very different from the photo I posted, so he'd have to meet with me several times, and besides, looks aren't everything.

God. Did I mention that this guy's an asshole?

[Andara Bledin]

This stuff makes me so glad I've never done the dating thing.

^-.-^

[FArchivist]

I fully recommend it. Its awesome. Even the bad ones at least give you a funny story.

I fully recommend this too. My rule was always "If we haven't gotten some nekkid time in the first three dates, we're probably not going to at all." To me, it was always a "Let's get it out of the way." thing because I figure that if you're not physically attracted to each other, there's not a lot of point in the date.

So let me tell ya'll about the Psycho Hose Beast.

Back in the day when internet dating was all the rage, I put up a profile and met this chick who I thought was relatively hot and definitely seemed worth the effort. Exchanged some emails, pictures, finally met up. First few dates went fine: She's hot to trot, provides intelligent conversation, and actually seems to care about my interests, so on, so forth.

And of course, it all went to hell.

Over time, she started getting clingier and clingier. I HAD to see her so many nights a week. I HAD to call her every so often. If I didn't, she'd be coming to find out where I was or why I hadn't called. It eventually got to where I was having to call her every break I had on my shift and at lunch or she would throw a tantrum.

Then, in the 4th month of dating, she calls me up and says "I'm pregnant."



Now, she had told me to knock it off with the condoms the first time we had sex - she didn't like them, they weren't necessary, she was on BC and all that jazz. Me being young, dumb, and full of cum I nodded like an idiot and went on my merry way barebacking. "So what happened with the BC?" I ask, full of shock at the P-word.

"Oh, I was lying to you about that."

Boom, head-rush time, that roaring in the ears where you can't hear anything and your vision goes fuzzy and then I'm done. I'm not feeling anything. In fact, I'm rather chilly. I was definitely sounding calm.

"So what do you want to do about it."
"Well, we could always get married."
"I don't get married with anyone unless I've dated them for at least two years." [1]
"We could move in together?" [2]
"Same rules apply. I'm happy to pay child support, though."

All of a sudden she was really uninterested in having the kid. I ended up paying for an abortion.

Still, I was a forgiving sod, a true romantic - she didn't really mean to lie to me, did she? Of course not! She LOVES me! And she does - she was already at the point of spending $4-500 per holiday on me. And professing her love all the time. So I forgave her the lie, we swept it under the rug, she got on BC, and all was good.

Except not. Proceed with 13 more months of what turned into hell. I'll just give the highlights:

- The Forbidden. PHB would become jealous over time about various things I did. First, it was hanging out on alt.gothic on Usenet. She wanted me to quit that because it took time away from her. Because I loved her, I did. Then it was RPGs - that hobby took time away. Then my friends; first the ladies had to go because they were all obviously hoes trying to steal me from her, then the guys because they took time with me away from her. Then my parents - I was only allowed to see them for 30 minutes at a time. She started getting on to me to quit my job because *gasp* WOMEN worked with me and they were all obviously hoes trying to steal me from her. Including the married ones.

- The Schedule. I had to call and keep in touch with her EVERY TWO HOURS of every day I was awake. Or she would come and FIND ME. And then have a tantrum fit.

- The Sex. It got BAD. At first she was all good to go, but after the whole pregnant thing, her idea of sex was to get naked and lay there with no reaction with me doing all the work. It had to be done at least once a week or she would accuse me of doing it with someone else. It eventually devolved into corpsefucking. Or at least, that's what it felt like. And I ain't no necrophile.

- The Stupidity. I mentioned she was intelligent, right? Well, she was. Definitely smart. But educated? Fuck no. She was a high school graduate and then went to work for her Dad's electrical firm as the office lady. College? It was for snobs and losers.

Worse, she had never read a book in her life. No, I'm fucking serious, as in dead serious, night of the living dead, ho shit zombies serious. She had never even read books as a child. Her parents never bought her any. She could read, but not terribly well. All through high school? Nothing but cliff notes. I was horrified; I'm a bookworm and I can do about 500-1000 pages a day.

And that led to even more problems. I'm sitting here reading and every 3-5 minutes she's interrupting me and she can't understand why I'm getting pissed. Or why I would find a book more interesting than TV. It wasn't until I forced her to sit down and read the first Harry Potter book that she got off my back. Then she became a Harry Potter fanatic. But that was OK! Because...

- The Childishness. She was a collector and I'm cool with that. I have obsessions. I do comics and RPGs and all manner of geeky. Her obsessions went towards action figures and memorabilia, which was mostly all right. I was cool with the Star Wars fanaticism.
But the Welcome Back Kotter addiction?
And the Sesame Street addiction? As in, she HAD to watch 3 hours of it a day, her entire bathroom and bedroom was decorated in Sesame Street there was memorabilia (in box, of course) all over the place. Yeargh. She was so into little kids stuff for a mid-20 something that it was kinda off-putting.

But it was the cling that was the worst. The cling and the anti-intellectualism.

So, the relationship was getting worse and worse all the time. Arguments, clinginess, more and more unhappiness. The breaker on that was when I decided I needed to go back to college and work on a degree. She looks all horrified and says "You can't go to college. THERE ARE WOMEN THERE!"

That killed it for me, full stop. I nodded and then broke up on the spot. Left her house, went home.

IT DIDN'T END THERE.

I had to return some stuff to her and her to me. We didn't speak; she just left a box out front. In it was THE SCRAPBOOK. Pictures of everywhere we had ever gone. A full diary of 17 months, every day in full loving detail. Poems, correspondence, pictures of gifts, a list of every movie we saw and the date and the time and where, on and on. It was the Creeper Scrapbook From Hell. Because of it, I can tell you that we had sex 125 times, where we had it, and when. Mind-numbing CREEPY detail of our 'life' together. And it ended with a I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER EVEN THOUGH YOU BROKE MY HEART note.

I still have that scrapbook. It reminds me of WHY.

It still didn't end there, of course. I had to endure her literal stalking for a year until I finally called up her dad and told him there would be an RO if she didn't stop showing up and following me around. And leaving gifts for me. Yeargh.

Thankfully, I am happily married now to my Darling Beloved who is the opposite of Psycho Hose Beast in so many ways. The worst I get now is being chided for not having 1-2 girlfriends on the side.



[1] That was my actual rule at the time.
[2] Did I mention that she lived with her parents, was 24 to my 22, and has never lived anywhere but with her parents? No.

[Eisa]

What an abusive, manipulative, psycho cunt-face. That was psychological abuse and control, holy shit.

And LYING to you? She was totally planning on getting pregnant and forcing you to marry her. Fucking bitch.

Glad you have a much better Dearly Beloved now.

[Whiskey]

What an abusive, manipulative, psycho cunt-face. That was psychological abuse and control, holy shit.

And LYING to you? She was totally planning on getting pregnant and forcing you to marry her. Fucking bitch.

Seriously! I've been called a number of things, crazy included, and sometimes I wonder if its true. Then I remember there are bitches like this in the world.

More recently, I got a REALLY condescending message from some asshole who - guess what! - has two kids. He told me that he liked my profile, but I might look very different from the photo I posted, so he'd have to meet with me several times, and besides, looks aren't everything.

Thats called "negging." Its really popular among skeeves and losers. Its essentially emotional manipulation. The point is to pull at your insecurities(the might look different part), put himself in a "position of power" ("i'd have to meet you several times" his judgement is all that matters, theres no WAY you wouldnt like him) and then finishing off with a "nice guy" backhanded compliment (looks arent everything).

[FArchivist]

[QUOTE=Eisa;816237] What an abusive, manipulative, psycho cunt-face. That was psychological abuse and control, holy shit.

Yes, yes it was. Took me a long while to get past it too.

And LYING to you? She was totally planning on getting pregnant and forcing you to marry her. Fucking bitch.

To be honest, I think she was going to 'miscarriage' anyway. She hated kids.

Glad you have a much better Dearly Beloved now.

So am I.

Seriously! I've been called a number of things, crazy included, and sometimes I wonder if its true. Then I remember there are bitches like this in the world.

I honestly believe she wasn't crazy, as in crazy with a mental disorder. There was no amount of therapy or drugs that could correct her. She was just Evil, and not in the good sexy way.