Questions you NEVER want to be asked in a bar!

[TawnyMyst]

Just got married, went to the bar after the reception with all the guys in the wedding party and a few of the girls, plus the groom of course . I'm still in my wedding dress, just stopped in to have a drink with a friend who was a bartender there and couldn't get the night off to come to the wedding. Guy walks up to me: "Going home with anyone or do I have a chance?"

Dumbass, what do you think?

[Jester]

Okay, hitting on a bride in a wedding dress is just beyond dumb.

Yeah, dude, you have a chance. A chance of getting your ass kicked by a bunch of guys in tuxes, you dumb fuck. Shiiiit.

[AccountingDrone]

Quoth AccountingDrone View Post
probably one of those timeframes is possible. As I would be driving, I can bring my bottle of rum along, it has my name engraved on it

Whenever works for you. Just let me know.

And what kind of rum is it?

Bacardi Reserva Limitada

I rarely drink, so I like something to sip either up or on rocks.

[Greenday]

"You wanna go to my place for some pizza and sex?" - sleazeball

"NO!" - me, fighting back the urge to put him in a coma

"What, you don't like pizza?" - sleaze

"You mother fuck-" - me, then being dragged away by my friend's husband.

I happen to like that line, though I wouldn't use it on someone I didn't know.

And he stole it from this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSLsd5St9Fo

Contains enough foul language that you might want to be hesitant to watch it at work people. Skip to 4:15 for the line which this guy stole.

Oh and as for a question I don't enjoy hearing at the bar, "Were you just dancing up on my girlfriend?" Well, she started dancing up on me actually but somehow I don't think that will make the situation end better...

[Jester]

Bacardi Reserva Limitada

I've heard of it, but never actually tasted it.

[AccountingDrone]

I've heard of it, but never actually tasted it.

Supposed to be better than Bacardi 8 ... but that seems a bit difficult, I thought it was pretty fantastic. Haven't popped it open yet, saving it for my birthday in October.

I know it sounds like heresy, but I will occasionally mix Bat 8 with Cane Cola, the flavor profile of cane cola is amazing. The natural oils used in making it, combined with sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup is amazing, you can taste all the ingredients actually blending and harmonizing. I am of the opinion that you can mix 'uber booze' as long as you use the best ingredients - fresh limes, or lemons, fresh mint, sugar or honey, the best you can find. If it is done properly, you get something that heterodynes up to the highest level. If you use crappy ingredients, they drag the good booze down to their level and you might as well use well booze.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I play folk and Irish music. We were all jamming at a party once, playing "Isn't It Grand". Which is about a funeral. And there is a line in it that goes "Look at the widow, bloody great female", and one of the guys yells out "And she's single!" and a female guest from another band just about fell out laughing.

Turned out, she was a widow. And some magnificent dumbshit hit on her at her husband's funeral.

There is no bottom limit, apparently.

[Seshat]

......

AT HER HUSBAND'S FUNERAL?

Sheesh. Some people.

[ZedOmega]

Agreed....at least a beer bottle end is smaller...You can kinda....work it in.

...uh... damn it, I can't make a witty comeback if my mind's too far in the gutter!

Supposed to be better than Bacardi 8 ... but that seems a bit difficult, I thought it was pretty fantastic. Haven't popped it open yet, saving it for my birthday in October.

I know it sounds like heresy, but I will occasionally mix Bat 8 with Cane Cola, the flavor profile of cane cola is amazing. The natural oils used in making it, combined with sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup is amazing, you can taste all the ingredients actually blending and harmonizing. I am of the opinion that you can mix 'uber booze' as long as you use the best ingredients - fresh limes, or lemons, fresh mint, sugar or honey, the best you can find. If it is done properly, you get something that heterodynes up to the highest level. If you use crappy ingredients, they drag the good booze down to their level and you might as well use well booze.

Wow. Now I feel like a jerk for making KD+Coke my preferred drink...

[AdminAssistant]

Wow. Now I feel like a jerk for making KD+Coke my preferred drink...

Don't! Hell, I mix Bacardi 8 with Coke all the time. I mean, if I'm going to have a rum and coke, I'm still going to use good rum! Ditto a Dr. Pepper and whiskey. Sure, I could use Ol' Grandad's or Black Crow...but it's a hell of a lot better when I use Maker's Mark.

Of course, all of this is moot now that I can't have caffeine. I've yet to find non-diet caffeine free Dr. Pepper or Coke. *sigh* And no, I'm not mixing with diet soda. Ew.

[Sheldonrs]

Not so much a pick-up line but just funny, especially at the time.
I was at a gay bar in Los Angeles that also had a darkened corner section where things took place that don't usually happen at bars. ;-)

There was a guy leaning over a table, pants around his ankles with a guy in back of him doing what gay guys in back of gay guys do. The bent over guy starts talking to another guy that he knows when suddenly something dawns on him:

"Wait! if you're over there, then who's fucking me?!"


Word for word quote.

[SengaKitty]

Not so much a question I got at a bar (though god help me if I got it at a bar, I wouldn't have been as nice as I was), but a question I got from a customer at work.

Customer: "Why were you in my dreams last night?"
Me: "Umm, I don't know"
Customer: "Well you sure were, you and your red and brown hair and pretty eyes"

Twitch.... twitch

[AccountingDrone]

...uh... damn it, I can't make a witty comeback if my mind's too far in the gutter!



Wow. Now I feel like a jerk for making KD+Coke my preferred drink...

If that is what you like to drink, then drink it =)

Tough you really should try cane cola sometime ... I rarely do soda of any sort, but that is an exception I will make a few times a year for special occasions.

[ArcticChicken]

Of course, all of this is moot now that I can't have caffeine. I've yet to find non-diet caffeine free Dr. Pepper or Coke. *sigh* And no, I'm not mixing with diet soda. Ew.

I guarantee you that caffeine free regular Coke exists, I have seen it, and I have even drunk it.

[taurinejunkie]

I've never been asked any inappropriate questions, but at 2 times people have been particularly stupid.

First incident, this old drunkard starts talking shit because I "look like a girl" due to my long hair. I mutter a bunch of curses at him under my breath because I really really get pissed off by comments like that. Then he takes a swing at me, only barely brushing against the tip of my chin. Took all I had to not swing right back. He was too drunk to be dangerous anyway, so I just walked back into the bar.

Second incident, basically this girl I didn't know, but thought was really cute, starts talking to me and at some point I end up kissing her, then I have to take a leak and when I come back, she's sitting at a table, hands locked with some guy. A few questions to the barmaid later, I learn that they're an item and often come to that bar. So, basically, the girl set me up to get the crap beaten out of me. I'd almost appreciate the cunning plan if it hadn't been directed at me.