Ran into one of those women today.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Nice enough lady, really. Just...(insert sigh here). But you know how it is when someone is a strict adherent to the statewide religion and you show yourself to be a heathen.

Yes, folks, I am talking about the Cult Of The Holy Southern Football.

So we took the kids in Haigen's little class out to a place where there was a water thingie for kids and while I'm sitting there, this total stranger comes up to me and says "You know (insert random name I can't remember...Joe Blow whatever)?"

And I say, "Uh...no, ma'am..."

And we look at each other awkwardly for a moment while I wonder why she's asking me this, and she says "You know, the USC football player?"

And I continue to wonder where she is going with this and she says "The quarterback?"

At this point, I must really look perplexed because I am, and I open my mouth and start to say "No, ma'am, why do you ask?" And she says "Well, that's him right over there."

There were a couple dudes over the other side of the pool. At the time of this writing, I still don't know who she meant.

And I say "Ah." I am still, I imagine, wearing my perplexed face. "Okaay." And we sort of look at each other awkwardly while I continue to try to sort out what I am supposed to do with this information.

Evidently, this Joe Blow person is supposed to be important or something. It always annoys me when total strangers assume that everyone else is as rabid about sports as they are. I felt like saying "Don't know Joe Blow. Do you know Lord Baldwin? He's my favorite jouster. What? You don't love jousting? What's wrong with you, everyone loves jousting." But I didn't. She was just trying to be nice, I guess. I guess she didn't want me to miss out on an opportunity to moisten my panties over some local non-celebrity celebrity.

The word "star fucker" rather uncharitably crossed my mind, but I chastised myself. That was nasty of me, and anyways, I hardly consider some guy a star for playing some local football.

So later on, I find myself in a conversation with her and while she is very polite, she cannot get her head around the fact that I don't really care in the least about grown men playing children's games. She even asks me if I am from here.

Bottom line, she was a nice lady. Gave me a tour of the place. Very polite. And then we talked about football some more.

[r2cagle]

Big Show - the WWE (or WWF or whatever) wrestler almost ran me over in the Atlanta airport. All I remember is that he was pretty rude.

My husband is a big guy himself (6' 4", 300+ pounds) and he said he was worried that he'd have to take on Big Show to defend me. I told hubby, he would have had to defend Big Show from me as I was the perfect height to do 'below the waist' damage.

[Amina516]

"Don't know Joe Blow. Do you know Lord Baldwin? He's my favorite jouster. What? You don't love jousting? What's wrong with you, everyone loves jousting."

I wouldve LOVED to have heard of her reaction to this. SO random and I love it... Lol.

I guess she didn't want me to miss out on an opportunity to moisten my panties over some local non-celebrity celebrity.

[Crossbow]

Unfortunately I get it a lot at my office. There's some huge football (why the hell is it football? They don't use their feet, and it's not really ball shaped. They should call it 'hand-egg.') fans here, and at least a handful have not even said hello to me since I told them that I don't care at all about the sport.

Of course, for a couple of them, I pretty much consider that a bonus....

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Contemplating the whole exchange, it just seems more and more pathetic to me.

As it turned out, she was the owner of the place (hence the tour.) It was at the newest of a chain of child care centers, which she and her husband owned. They are very nice child care centers, and this one was the nicest I have ever seen.

The lady is doing a good job and ought to be proud of her own accomplishments.

However, what does she keep going back to in an attempt to impress me? The fact that a twenty something year old man-child, whose accomplishments at this point in his life are that he plays football in college, is an accquaintence of hers. THAT is what this lady is using to try to impress me.

And this lady is older than I am, even. Puh-leeze.

When we returned to the football topic, she told me that once you get to know the players, it's more interesting, and she had become friends with Joe Blow football player over there. Okay, whatever blows your skirt, but I still could not care less. I was nice about it, but that is what I was thinking.

Literally, I could not care less. It's not possible for me to care less, because in order to care less, I would have to first somehow care more, and I just don't. I have not yet discovered the absolute bottom of my apathy towards football.

People cannot BELIEVE that some people don't care about football. And you're right, it always seems to be "hand egg", doesn't it? It's never, say, ping pong or badminton.

The jousting bit is maybe not so random as you'd think. Jousting is the one and only sport I don't mind watching. And I particularly enjoy watching Baldwin. He's a character.

And he's kind of hot.

[dalesys]

... Jousting is the one and only sport I don't mind watching. And I particularly enjoy watching Baldwin. He's a character.

And he's kind of hot.

I would expect so...





In that padded tin can.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Ah, they don't wear the sort of armor stick jocks wear. They aren't trying to break lances on each other's chests and unhorse each other (although they do get unhorsed sometimes). They're breaking them on shields.

It's not nearly as rough as it is in Knights Tale.

And there is more to hot than how someone looks!

[zombiequeen]

I get this too. If it's some sports person (I didn't even recognize tiger woods when he was on the local news) Then I don't care or care to care. If it's a video game character, voice actor, or maker, then I might actually recognize and point them out. To my friends who have the same interests, of course. I'd rather not involve some stranger or even someone who I know has different interests in my inane ramblings, it's just rude.

Of course, I still expect my husband to keep up on my craftiness knowledge, but he deserves it because he got me started on video games.

Though one time, some guy was trying to impress me with his hand-egg knowledge, and perhaps trying to take me home too, and I played along for a bit with the wide-eyed wonder thing, then asked him "What's football?" He left me alone after that.

[Becks]

I live in Green Bay, where everyone is expected to live, eat, breathe Packer football.

Yeah. I'm a baseball fan. Milwaukee Brewers.

[drunkenwildmage]

Try living on the Ohio/Michigan Border, where everyone thinks you *HAVE* to be a fan of either Ohio State, or Michigan It to the point that I keep getting bitched at for not wearing the colors for either school..

"Oh..you have to be a fan of ONE of the schools"

The years that Penn State beats both schools(which is often) , I'm more then happy to point it out on the week of "The Big Game"

[Crossbow]

The years that Penn State beats both schools(which is often) , I'm more then happy to point it out on the week of "The Big Game"

What the is a Nittany?!?! Sorry. I couldn't resist. Used to date WVU girl and got subjected to about as much Penn State hatred as a Michigan State fan would get in Columbus.

[AdminAssistant]

Oh, Lawd. There are times that I just want to strangle everyone wearing royal blue....or that freakin' bird. Like I told a friend, it looks like a parrot fucked a chicken. Yeah, I like my school and I'm glad to go to one with a decent athletic reputation...but the overabundance of it gets annoying. And having to plan outings around when the games are.

[drunkenwildmage]

What the is a Nittany?!?! Sorry. I couldn't resist. Used to date WVU girl and got subjected to about as much Penn State hatred as a Michigan State fan would get in Columbus.

It refers to the mountain lions that once roamed near the school, and to Mount Nittany that over looks the campus..



Michigan State fan would get some, but the University of Michigan, well.. they are lucky if they would get out alive..which reminds of of a joke from a couple years ago.

q:Why can't the University of Michigan Football team go to Columbus?

a: Because they can't get past Toledo!


Thankyouthankyou..I'm here all week..Try the Walleye..

[Food Lady]

I live in Green Bay, where everyone is expected to live, eat, breathe Packer football. Yeah. I'm a baseball fan. Milwaukee Brewers.

I'm close enough to GB to have gone past apathy to complete and utter annoyance at the ridiculous obsession with the Packers. Don't care for any sports AT ALL, but I am fond of telling people, "I'm from California. We like BASKETBALL", just to get that cat-butt reaction. And let me add that "hand-egg" is making me .

[morgana]

Oh, gods, football. (Although I do like the 'hand-egg' thing. )

I'm originally from Nebraska. RK is right about it being the state religion. All Hail the Mighty Cornhuskers! Geez. It got so bad in my family that one of my aunts actually had a Go Big Red bathroom.

My ex and I used to live on the west edge of Lincoln, the state capitol and home of UNL, the Huskers college. This was also the edge of the city wherein was ensconced the high temple of worship, Husker Stadium. Despite neither of us being in the least interested in football, we always kept a calendar of the home games on a magnet on the fridge. That way we knew what weekends to get our groceries immediately after work on Friday, and scurry home and batten down the hatches for the weekend. It literally wasn't safe to try to shop on home game Saturdays.

Gah.