Official CS blanket fort

[Kara]

Just gonna go ahead and crawl in here NOW because tomorrow I'll be too much of a blubbering, crying mess to do anything.

Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday. She's going to be 8. She's just started 3rd grade last week. I can't believe it, it's seems like just yesterday I was in the delivery room, holding her tiny little body for the first time.

I haven't seen her in 8 months. I don't know how big she is now. I don't know if her hair is still sooooo long. It's beautiful, and we've never "cut" it, just get it trimmed and neatened up when necessary. She's such a wonderful little girl, she brightens everyone's day. And I can't see her at all. I don't even know if she's here or a hundred miles from here. I know that my ex and her boyfriend were talking about one or the other moving so his boy and my kids can go to school together, and I don't know how that turned out. I'm not allowed to know.

Mama Kara misses you, Princess. When this is over, I'll make this up to you. I'll make up for all the time they kept me from you and your brothers. I swear it.

Scuse me, I have something in my eye.

[RootedPhoenix]

Miss Kara, *hugs you and gives you cookies* *cries with you*

[zombiequeen]

-flops into cuddle pie-

No matter how much I try to outrun them, the stupid memories and bad thoughts overtake me again. I don't want to think about those things anymore. They happened years and years ago. Why won't they ever leave my head?


Edit: and this song is tearful in a good way: "Feathery Wings"

*snuggles*
I get thoughts like that sometimes too. I don't know if they'll ever go away.
:hugs: I'm here if you need someone to talk to or just rant at. I'll listen.
My mum is getting sicker and sicker. It's weird seeing her still act so positive even though most people would have given up by now. As much as I hate her...it's still nice to visit once in a while, we get along in small doses.

[Eisa]

-snorgles Mytical and zombiequeen and everybody-

I'm thinking they don't really go away. -sighs-

Today has actually been pretty good. Except for the freaking giant thunderstorm. I cannot sleep when there is a storm. I am terrified of storms. I feel like a pathetic small child when I am like this, but oh well. Fucking storms can DIAF.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Mama Kara misses you, Princess. When this is over, I'll make this up to you. I'll make up for all the time they kept me from you and your brothers. I swear it.

Scuse me, I have something in my eye.

Big snuggles to you, Kara. My daughter is gone forever, but you should be able to see yours, and it's so unfair that you cannot. Happy 8th birthday to her!!

[Victory Sabre]

I'm so sorry that your ex is jerking you around with this, Kara. I wish your little girl a happy birthday, and I hope she understands why you aren't there for her big day.

[Kara]

Thank you so much, everyone. It's been a rough day, I was NOT holding up well this morning. All the kind words were a great comfort.

BeenThereDoneThat, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. It's been 8 months, I can't imagine what it would be like to know I'd never see my kids again. And that picture is perfect, my daughter is a rabid Disney Princess fangirl and she would simply adore it. I put it on my FB wall.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

BeenThereDoneThat, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. It's been 8 months, I can't imagine what it would be like to know I'd never see my kids again. And that picture is perfect, my daughter is a rabid Disney Princess fangirl and she would simply adore it. I put it on my FB wall.

Thank you. I am hoping that you don't miss too much more of your daughter's childhood, but I'm also hoping she knows you love her and will want to spend time with you when she is an adult and can make her own decisions. I am thrilled that you liked the graphic (not that I made it! ). Hope she sees it.

[Cazzi]

s and piggy snuggles all round.

I had blood tests last week as I've been feeling drained, sore & brain not working. Today I got a letter asking me to call & make arrangements for a phone consultation with my doc!

Now I've got to wait til tomorrow midday to find out what's going on!

& I'm out of chocolate & jellybeans

[BeenThereDoneThat]

*hands Cazzi bags of chocolate and jelly beans* I'm sorry...waiting is the worst after having medical tests done

[Cazzi]

*huggles BeenThereDoneThat*

Thanks

I deliberately overslept this morning so I won't be pacing the house!

[zombiequeen]

WAUUUGHHH!
My button supplier dropped off the face of the earth! Now where will I get my odd-sized resin buttons with stuff inside?
Stupid hormones making me freak out too much about this whole thing.
*Dives into pile of pillows*
Can I have some cheesy popcorn if anyone's sharing? I have those chocolate breadsticks from pizza hut.

[Eisa]

Oh no! Um...sure I have cheesy popcorn...somewhere...now how about those chocolate breadsticks??

Ok, for one, heard nothing from my bf today...and he lives in Maryland. On FB, he said everything was fine, but that was hours and hours ago, so I don't know if something happened or if he was just busy today or what. But not really pleased about that because I want to know if everyone's ok, damnit!

And feel like...well, shit otherwise...feel really headachey and sick and spacey and sleepy. It's like body memories of a concussion actually, and even though I know why I would be experiencing that, it bloody sucks and I want it to go away.

[zombiequeen]

Popcorn first!
Well my grandma had her both-ends-oscopied today and they don't know where she's bleeding from. Which means it's in her intestines or something and she has to change her way of life. I expect my life to get exponentially harder now.
Sunday, when she up and decided I was going to cook, all I did was go downstairs, season the fish, and tell her not to put "butter" on it. She had to wait to put melted margarine on her own fish on her own plate, and it pissed her off.
Now she's saying I better get used to getting delivery, because I'm not welcome to eat her cooking anymore. Good thing I know how to cook for myself, huh.

Motrin 800's aren't doing anything for my cramps, I need to go find some real painkillers.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

everyone

Today is my angel baby's birthday. She would have been 7 years old. I am doing OK, considering...but I miss her terribly and always will. I am going to try to celebrate her short life today. Next Thursday will be harder...it will be the anniversary of the day she got her wings.