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  • So, I may be responsible for a child being homeless...

    and oddly I no longer care.
    As many of you know, I have had some not very good luck with roommates, and my current one is no exception.
    So, I let her and her son move in after her husband attacked her. That was 6 weeks ago.
    In that time period she has paid no rent, she has eaten my food, and her son has threatened to kill both me and my mother. Some of the stuff that the kid has done makes me truly despise him. On Friday I ordered myself some pizza and a thing of garlic bread that I was going to have for breakfast the next day, that little fucker, despite me explicitly telling him not to eat it because I was planning on having it for breakfast ate it all. I bought some peanut bars to have as snacks at work, the little shit ate nearly half the box (without asking if he could have any, of course). It has gotten to the point where I have had to put locks on the pantry to keep them from stealing stuff.
    And the child, juvie would be the best thing that would ever happen to him. With luck an older child would beat the shit out of him on his first night and snap him out of this delusion of his that he's some badass. He has done nothing as far as chores (oh, excuse me, in 6 weeks he has done the dishes once and taken out the trash once). When I remind him that all members of the household need to pull their fair share, his response is "you aren't my father, and if you try to be, I'll kill you asshole". My mother was planning to come for Thanksgiving, and I reminded him, that as I rent it from her, this is her house, when she is here he will follow her rules. His response was the exact same "she isn't my mother, if she tries to be, I'll kill her"
    Now, his real so called mother knows that he says this and the things he's done (stealing, skipping school, disrespecting elders, etc) and she just doesn't give a shit. Her response "oh, it's a phase, he'll grow out of it".
    Oh yeah, to add to this, he threatened to fire pepperspray at my fiance when he asked him to put the sofa bed away when he wasn't using it. I've point blank told his mother, the next time that happens his phase will end with him being escorted away in handcuffs.
    As it is, on Friday when my fiance gets back from Reno, we are going to kindly tell her that she has until the end of October to get the fuck out. My mother has point blank told me that not only is she tired of paying to support her, she works for one of the most prestigious financial firms in the UK (granted in the Reno office serving their customers who have relocated to the United States and some US based customers also) and she can't afford to have a delinquent in her home potentially sullying her reputation. For that matter, I'm going into accounting, I can't afford to have my reputation affected by having a child living with me who is skipping school and God knows what else. In the accounting and finance fields, your reputation is all that you have.
    So, yeah, call me a monster if you will, but after 6 weeks of supporting her and her child because for 4 of those weeks she was just too lazy to work (she was offered jobs that she turned down because they just weren't what she wanted to do), and now she is paying off her debt from that month (which apparently she does not consider me one of her debtors). Oh, yeah, and by the way, if we accept the reality that I am not single (though for the foreseeable future the IRS won't see it that way), I live beneath the poverty line. I truly can't afford for someone to be dragging me down even further. On top of that, after her child threatened to kill me and my mother, I don't feel much sympathy at the fact that they will very possibly be homeless if they don't find someone else to sucker into supporting them.

    ETA- I know that many of you also have me on facebook. Please do not mention this on facebook, as much as I want support on this, I don't want it crossing over into a public arena that my roommate has access to making things worse than they already are.
    Last edited by smileyeagle1021; 10-05-2010, 06:25 PM.
    If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

  • #2
    You're not a monster, and you are not responsible for her kid. Or her.

    (how old is this kid, anyway?)
    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

    Comment


    • #3
      0.0

      Smiley, I think you're being too NICE. At the first death threat, not to me, but to my mother, it'd be "ok, buh bye, see you later. Hope the door beats your ass on the way out"

      Keep a very close eye on these two. The son strikes me as the type to take everything that isn't bolted down when he leaves, or to destroy stuff out of spite, and mommy dearest won't do anything because he's just going through a phase. Best of luck with the situation.

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      • #4
        Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
        0.0

        Smiley, I think you're being too NICE. At the first death threat, not to me, but to my mother, it'd be "ok, buh bye, see you later. Hope the door beats your ass on the way out"

        Keep a very close eye on these two. The son strikes me as the type to take everything that isn't bolted down when he leaves, or to destroy stuff out of spite, and mommy dearest won't do anything because he's just going through a phase. Best of luck with the situation.
        QFT.

        I admire that youre helping a friend in a bad situation, but she doesnt CARE about herself, she sure as hell wont care about her kids shitty behaviour or your possessions. They shouldve been out after the first death threat.

        Id tell her NOW to start to get the FUCK out. The end of October is too generous..and if she puts up a fight, get ready to get the law involved (though IMO they already should have been.)

        I hope you get out of this unscathed. Good luck.

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        • #5
          I second that! You're being waaaay too nice! That kid is not going to grow out of it, both him and his mother desperately need a reality check.
          Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

          Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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          • #6
            Don't give them any time, it sounds like the kid will just fuck up your stuff out of spite if he is given the chance. Death threats are not something that can be written off as just a phase and mommy dearest neads to learn that her little boy's problems are real and will have real effects on his life as well as her's.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Solumina View Post
              Don't give them any time, it sounds like the kid will just fuck up your stuff out of spite if he is given the chance. Death threats are not something that can be written off as just a phase and mommy dearest neads to learn that her little boy's problems are real and will have real effects on his life as well as her's.
              Heck, you might want to see if you can get them a nice police escort out of the house..
              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

              Comment


              • #8
                Change your locks, then boot them out.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I don't think you're a monster, either. You helped someone in a bad position, and it bit you in the arse.

                  You need to take care of you and your Mom. Everything else is moot.
                  SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
                  SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post

                    (how old is this kid, anyway?)
                    He is 18 days short of turning 13 (I only know this so specifically because his birthday is one day after mine and I'm 17 days from turning 24... God I'm getting old)

                    And, yes, I have already installed locks on all rooms not theirs and started moving all valuables into them (and keeping them locked). The only things of value that I haven't moved are the kitchen appliances, the living room TV, the piano, and well, the furniture. And for most of that, I'm planning on getting photo documentation of everything before I break the news to them.
                    Coming back to reputation, I know I am being too nice giving them til the end of October, but if I do that I can make it a standard violation of lease (specifically not paying rent). Getting them out any quicker and some of the stuff that the kid has done while in my home has to go on record.
                    If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I just turned 35 so shush.
                      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                        I just turned 35 so shush.
                        I just turned 39. Double-shush, you whippersnapper.

                        I don't know how the laws work up there, but does anyone have any record of you ever having been paid for their staying there?

                        If not, I believe you can kick them out, post haste, without any warning. You should very much check the laws regarding that and how they pertain to your situation.

                        It's also quite probable that the kid's threats to you (and your mother!) are enough to allow you to give them the boot without any further difficulty even were they to have paid rent at some point.

                        As the others have said, the end of October is far too long to put up with this treatment. You shouldn't have to turn the inside of your home into a fortress.

                        ^-.-^
                        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm only 22.

                          I agree with everyone else, though. That kid is creepy scary! Don't wait until the end of October unless you absolutely HAVE to. I think you should check out what Andara Bledin said, maybe that will help.
                          "And so all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride!"
                          "Hallo elskan min/Trui ekki hvad timinn lidur"
                          Amayis is my wifey

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If someone threatens to physically assault and/or kill you (sincerely) they are no longer a child. They want to be a grown ass adult, treat them like one.

                            October is entirely too long. Boot them now and let mr. bad ass see what the real world is like.
                            Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              If you have no rental contract, you should be able to just get them out of the house.

                              I suspect that the sooner you get them out, the less ongiong trouble you have. If you wait, they will feel more settled and thus more 'betrayed' when you kick them out.
                              Seshat's self-help guide:
                              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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