Tried to be a gentleman long ago...

[Andara Bledin]

I like nice guys, and totally appreciate 'em.

Of course, the last nice guy I used to hang out with was interested in the bitchy chick who, in turn, was interested in the verbally abusive bad boy. Go figure.

^-.-^

[CaroPhoenix]

I married a nice guy. He's completely clueless and thick headed, but he's really nice.

[protege]

Lucky bastard

What?

Seriously though, quite a few women (locally) all claim to want the nice guy. In reality, they all for the assholes. Then those of us who *are* nice guys...get to listen to them bitch about it

[KiaKat]

It's not that they're going for the assholes.

They're going for the confident guys. The ones who appear to have an idea as to who they are, and where they're going (even if their eventual goal is 20-Life up the river). A lot of the time, the Nice Guys are quiet, polite, shy, and don't make their intentions known. They sit there listening to the woman bitch about her current love interest (and why he's an asshole but she loves him anyway), without ever making a move. Or if they do make the move, it's at completely the wrong time, when she's in the middle of bitching.

I don't have the answer to this. But I can say that it's ok to be a bit of a confident asshole sometimes. Just like it's ok for a woman to be a bitch.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Most of the self-proclaimed "Nice Guys" are passive-aggressive jerks who become friendly with a woman and THEN try to make a move, then complain that she only wants to be friends.

If you want more than friendship, say so at the beginning for God's sake, and don't get pissy if she says no.

[Andara Bledin]

Then those of us who *are* nice guys...get to listen to them bitch about it

The nice guy I mentioned earlier? I had a crush on him. I got to listen to him bitch about the bitch (while they were dating, briefly).

If you want more than friendship, say so at the beginning for God's sake, and don't get pissy if she says no.

I always make friends first.

Both my ex and my current were friends first. In fact, my current boyfriend has been my friend for 20 years. We've only been together for about half that.

^-.-^

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

I always make friends first.

Both my ex and my current were friends first. In fact, my current boyfriend has been my friend for 20 years. We've only been together for about half that.

^-.-^

Ah, but did they make friends because you're fun and awesome and the attraction became noted later, or did they become friendly in order to get close for the purpose of using the friendship to try and coerce a More-Than-Friends relationship later?

Cause there's a difference.

[Andara Bledin]

Ah, but did they make friends because you're fun and awesome and the attraction became noted later, or did they become friendly in order to get close for the purpose of using the friendship to try and coerce a More-Than-Friends relationship later?

In both cases, we were friends because of common interests and mutual other friends, so I can say with complete and utter confidence that we were friends 'cause I was awesome, and not just 'cause they wanted to get into my pants.

^-.-^

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

In both cases, we were friends because of common interests and mutual other friends, so I can say with complete and utter confidence that we were friends 'cause I was awesome, and not just 'cause they wanted to get into my pants.

^-.-^

Given it's a 20-year friendship, I'm not surprised.

It's the OTHER TYPE that results in the "Men and Women Can't Be Friends" stereotype.

Actually, that almost happened with one of my best friends. He's attracted to me, I'm not attracted to him, and I was lamenting my singledom once again. We had a small argument that I should lower my standards, but ended up apologizing since he realized he wanted my standards to include him.

We're still friends. And I'm still not dating him.

[Plaidman]

Which is standard. You can state your intention to really want to date a girl, even when she's still dating.
Still be friends. Then it makes the girl just see guy as friend only, even if they've flirted from the beginning.

Thus nice guy is always just a friend, even if they flirt. Rare is it a woman that see's friend as dating potentional after being friends for set amount of time. Sucks, but reality.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Pretty generalized statement there. I"m just not going to date someone I'm not attracted to. I've tried that before, and it doesn't work. I'm sure no guy here would ask out a girl he didn't find attractive.

I'd like to see what kind of girls these Nice Guys keep asking out, because I know PLENTY of nice, smart, funny, cute, fun girls who are very single and never get asked out.

Perhaps because all the Nice Guys only want to date the Hot Bitches of the world?

[hinakiba777]

This thread has really depressed me. If awesome people like you all can't find people i am doomed. I am sad now.

[Plaidman]

I'd like to see what kind of girls these Nice Guys keep asking out, because I know PLENTY of nice, smart, funny, cute, fun girls who are very single and never get asked out.

Where? I'd ask them out. Doubt any are in Portland though.

This thread has really depressed me. If awesome people like you all can't find people i am doomed. I am sad now.

I'm hardly awesome. I thought you were married though? Or at least had a boyfriend. I coulda sworn that.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Any area has a population of nerd girls. We're at least as common as nerd boys. Try the library or book store. They'll be the ones huddled in the fiction section or by the comic books.

EDIT: Why do I feel like the narrator on a nature documentary?

"Here we find the white spotted Bookworm in her natural habitat..."

[Plaidman]

Or the nice, smart, funny, cute, fun girls that are single and never get asked out, aren't attracted to the nice guys that ask them out, much like you aren't attracted to your friend.

Attraction is a huge factor. Nice guys aren't attractive to bulk of girls.