Tried to be a gentleman long ago...

[Plaidman]

THen your too nice is the deal protege.

You have to still be a little bit of a dick, and at least act like you could survive without them.

[zombiequeen]

My fella is a nice guy, to me (and a few select others).
To most people he appears arrogant but he just doesn't like people in general. He appears very confident and that keeps most people at bay, which is what he wants.
He treats me incredibly well, opens doors and everything, is a total sweetheart and a big softie
His energy is what made him stand out from the crowd, and I knew we could never be just friends.

This is like my husband, everyone told me he was bad news because he looked like a rebel (tattoos, muscle shirts with ACTUAL muscles too!, bad grades and what)
But he's the sweetest guy ever unless you deserve him being an ass to you, or if he doesn't know you well he's standoffish and shy. We were best friends for four years before we started dating, and then we were still best friends, we've been married just over a year now and we are STILL best friends, and extremely happy too.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

You have to still be a little bit of a dick, and at least act like you could survive without them.

Sure as flack HOPE you can "live without" having a girlfriend 24/7. That's what confidence is. It's not being a dick, it's being a well-adjusted human being.

Who wants the pressure of a needy boyfriend? That's why I broke up with the last 2 guys I went out with. Too clingy. Jealous of the time I spent BY MYSELF drawing.

Just not worth the headache.

[Plaidman]

Sure as flack HOPE you can "live without" having a girlfriend 24/7. That's what confidence is. It's not being a dick, it's being a well-adjusted human being.

Who wants the pressure of a needy boyfriend? That's why I broke up with the last 2 guys I went out with. Too clingy. Jealous of the time I spent BY MYSELF drawing.

Just not worth the headache.

Seeing as I have no idea how that date went, I have no idea how needy he acted. I've seen how some guys act on dates though. And don't get why they don't get to even finish the first date half the time.

[blas]

Aw protege I didn't mean you are a whiner or advertiser.

I get tired of hearing people go on and on about how nice they are and why no one wants to date them. There seems to be a direct coorelation between the "nice" guys and gals and being perpetually turned down in favor of someone who is more confident and out there about themselves. I once spent many a day and night whining about being such a great girl, but I was missing confidence and self assurance, that's why guys walked all over me and didn't want to date me.

That's all I meant

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Seeing as I have no idea how that date went, I have no idea how needy he acted. I've seen how some guys act on dates though. And don't get why they don't get to even finish the first date half the time.

And being happy enough with oneself sans girlfriend/boyfriend does not equal beineg a jerk.

What do you consider Finishing the Date, by the way? A date is done when it's done, whether it's because one leaves in the middle of a meal, or the next morning cause one has to go to work.

[Food Lady]

Okay, I might be overgeneralizing on that point. Just in my experience, guys who try to make friends with a girl when they want to date her from the beginning tend to fall into the Nice Guy category and then complain when she only wants to be friends. I mean, if you're interested in someone as a potential Significant Other from the start, why not just ask them out? You can get to know a person as well by a few dates as by a friendship, and if it turns out, no it doesn't work, yes you can still be friends. As long as there aren't any hard feelings.

I think we actually agree; we're just wording it differently. We both think the guys who can't accept "I don't want a relationship" are sucky. I get the feeling we've both run into that scenario.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

I think we actually agree; we're just wording it differently. We both think the guys who can't accept "I don't want a relationship" are sucky. I get the feeling we've both run into that scenario.

Mine was an Almost, like I've said. Incident was over in a few minutes because HE realized what he was doing and apologised for it. Other than that, just going by the stories I've heard from both sides. They always play out the same way, like every incident is scripted.

[blas]

We won't even get started on the "Let's just be friends" and "I don't want a relationship" people. I'll be here all day.

[Peppergirl]

We won't even get started on the "Let's just be friends" and "I don't want a relationship" people. I'll be here all day.

Well now I WANT to start on it, of course.

Whatcha got, daughter?

[blas]

I don't think about it much anymore, Mom because I've been in a relationship for quite a while and it's been years since I've heard those "excuses", but it used to be the same story every time.

I was always the stand-in or "rebound" girl that guys went for while they pined for their ex to take them back. It was my own fault for giving in to that sort of ill treatment and expecting them to actually pick and want me, but I did. Also, I'd meet guys and try to date them, but I'd always get the "I don't want a relationship" so I'd try to do the smart thing and cut ties and just days or weeks later, they are seeing someone else and lookie here, they ARE in a relationship now. Ok, I get it. You didn't want a relationship with me.

That's when I decided to act a little more prudish and sort of change my dating ways, to weed out guys looking for a rebound girl or just a sex buddy or someone to casually see while they wait for the "right" girl to come around.

That's the condensed version.

[Peppergirl]

And I am ENORMOUSLY proud of you for taking a stand like that, and it ended up paying off, didn't it?

[blas]

Aw thankies

That's when not too long after that, I met my first serious bf. Which, that was only 6 months of a relationship but it meant something and that's what mattered. It actually happened pretty fast once I realized that I was a worthy girl of a worthy guy and I was not standing to be a "extra" or a "stand-in" anymore.

I did break my own rules for the guy I am currently with, sometimes I think that's why I'm cursed to still be with him 2 years later.

[Plaidman]

And being happy enough with oneself sans girlfriend/boyfriend does not equal beineg a jerk.

What do you consider Finishing the Date, by the way? A date is done when it's done, whether it's because one leaves in the middle of a meal, or the next morning cause one has to go to work.

Never said that some guys were not being a jerk, or being nice. I'd flat out state that any guy that starts his date by punching her because she was late is indeed, a fucking jerk though.

Point is how confident it was. Guess saying don't act needy was a bad way of wording it.

Better wording was, act midly disintrest. Choose the entire date rather then asking what she wants, etc.

Conciced that a date is over when it's over, but I'd say that a women that shows up, glances at her date, and laughs and says no and leaves, didn't give the guy a fair chance at a date.

But I'm sorry I'm wrong on dating. Not only do I have to be a freaking mind reader, but I need to be perfect but not perfect, confident but not confident, senestive and being a jerk and a billion other acts while hoping somehow that it be enough to warrent a second date.

So since being happy with your self is key to the fucking dating world, why the HELL are they dating in the first place? Flawed logic there. Happy being alone, should equal being alone.


I am a consent flirt though. Ask food_lady, Green_fairy, Shroo, telcom_goddess, or various other girls. I can be funny. I keep my negative side to myself for most part. I don't dress dirty. I don't act desperate. I don't have a type of women, just who I find intresting, be they goth to nerd, sports star to couch slob, church worshiper to satanist, if they have a few bits of their personality that I like, I'd ask them out.

Still get refused. I'm cute at times. Funny. But strictly friend only. Even a few offered to be a fuck buddy. But its the connection I want, not the physical connection.

So yeah. I've been refused well over a ten thousand times. Some have agreed, but dates never worked out. Assuming I got a real first date, and not some freaking hoax, like the woman coming with her real boyfriend and pointing me out as the idiot who thought I could have a girl.


So yeah. Do nice guys never get dates? Possible. Do confident guys get dates? Not always. Are all women crude? Some can be. Some can also be incredibly sweet and kind hearted.

None of that of that matters though, if people just flat out don't find you attractive. Despite you having serveral key factors that they do find intresting in other guys.

Since your the mistress of dating knowledge, and know how all people can get that date and SO, do tell me, through what little you know of me online, what do I do to get that date?

I've been confident. I've been uneedy. I don't have a single type of women. I don't dress horribly. I don't smell. I can be damn funny at times. I even spent many months just not trying and learning to live life to be solo. Shock to shock that didn't work ether.


I think it's sickening to tell people that can't get a date, to be told that they need to love life, and lead life by themselves. DO that yourself. Dump your SO, or husband/wife, and live the rest of your life by yourself. I'm sure you can. You just won't want too.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Since your the mistress of dating knowledge, and know how all people can get that date and SO, do tell me, through what little you know of me online, what do I do to get that date?

Okay, now you're just being rude. I'm offering my opinion, and I happen to have very strong opinions on this subject.

think it's sickening to tell people that can't get a date, to be told that they need to love life, and lead life by themselves. DO that yourself. Dump your SO, or husband/wife, and live the rest of your life by yourself. I'm sure you can. You just won't want too.

I don't have an SO, as I've said. I'm completely single. Not even casually dating anyone.

And yes, I am happy.

Would I like an SO? Absolutely, if it's someone I'm attracted to and would not make my life a bigger hassle than it is, and is supportive of my aspirations to be a cartoonist. But I'm not going to date just anyone for the sake of not being alone.

But since you asked my OPINION, based on what little I know of you...

In my opinion, based on what little I know of you, you ARE trying to date someone for the sake of not being alone. And that, in a nutshell, is the problem.