Confessions of a Wayward Cook.

[BexieSchmexie]

I'm a long-time lurker (years), and registered just to post on this post (I love cooking, and I'm ridiculous like that.).

Cream of Tarter is used to stiffen things. It's like the Viagra of baking. If you put it in cookies (I have a Snickerdoodle recipe that calls for it), it makes the cookies crispier. I know someone mentioned stiffening egg whites with it, and you can also use it if you make your own whipped cream.

I've never made actual knead it, let it sit, shape it to a loaf pan and bake it -bread- before.

I've never made lemon pepper anything, either. I've heard it's delicious, but it seems like an inexplicably weird thing to me, so I've never made it.

[ArcticChicken]

There's also a recipe for a fennel and mint salad that I keep meaning to try, but haven't gotten around to it yet.

I have never worked with fennel and to the best of my knowledge I've never eaten it, but judging entirely on smell that would be divine.

I've never made actual knead it, let it sit, shape it to a loaf pan and bake it -bread- before.

If you decide to do it, I would recommend the Joy of Cooking milk bread recipe. It's a pretty simple recipe, and the bit at the beginning of the bread chapter should answer all your questions. It's a great loaf, good texture, tough enough to slice thin and still butter, and not too crumbly, but soft without too thick a crust either. My only problem with the recipe is that it only makes one loaf, but that should really be a plus the first time you make bread, and it isn't big issue for me because I love to bake. I made a loaf on Saturday and it's half gone already.

[AdminAssistant]

The banana pudding sounds wonderful, and I think my son would go crazy for it - can you give me the recipe, or is it a family secret?

Sorry, every time I check this thread I keep forgetting to go get the ol' cookbook.

Banana Pudding

3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 tbs corn starch
3 egg yolks
1 cup whole milk (Mom always uses 2%)
1 cup Pet milk (that's the brand)
Vanilla (Hm, the amount isn't listed here, but I'm guessing 1/2 tsp.)
1/2 stick butter

Also:
3-4 bananas
Vanilla wafers (Mom always uses a brand called Jackson's, but that might not be available where you are. We usually use an entire bag, but if I'm helping it might take a bit more.)

Mix all dry ingredients
Add egg-milk mixture
Cook on medium heat until thick
Remove from heat, add vanilla and butter

Line the bottom of your dish (bowl, trifle dish, whatevs) with vanilla wafers. Then add a layer of sliced bananas - sliced 1/4-1/2 inch thick. Then pour on some pudding. Repeat the process until you run out of pudding, then add on a final layer of wafers.

[Squeaksmyalias]

I've been told my cooking is considered mad science, Sometimes I will follow the directions exactly, then my inner mad scientist takes over and I start to change stuff around. I'm a good cook, I just get bored and want to make things more interesting. Also I cannot be expected to keep the kitchen clean when I cook, I use shop towels and sometimes a mop to clean up after I'm done, and I need to change my clothes. Family has learned to just stay out of the kitchen, and hope that I never get my hands on a Creme Brulee Torch.

Oh and I HATE not having sharp knives, HATE it. I plan on buying my own soon then not sharing, my Mom refuses to replace the 20 year old icky ones we have and won't let me replace them, so I'm buying a really nice set and then not sharing so no one can hurt them.

[Cazzi]

Sometimes I will follow the directions exactly, then my inner mad scientist takes over and I start to change stuff around

That sounds like my method of cooking
I will follow a recipe for say a specific cake, but even then it ends up with a little bit of personalisation Anything else I tend to make it up as I go along & generally use recipe books just for ideas.

I turned down what was then a quite lucrative job when I left college just because I would have had to follow recipes down to the exact pinch of herbs/seasoning in a dish, I just couldn't see myself doing it

and hope that I never get my hands on a Creme Brulee Torch.

Why restrict yourself to a Creme Brulee torch? An ordinary blow torch will do just as well, or a hot grill or even one of those gas filled candle lighters & a bit of patience...

Oh and I HATE not having sharp knives,

That too, I've been slowly building up a set of very nice knives. Blunt knives just don't do the job, & besides, a nice sharp knife is actually safer for kitchen work than a blunt one

Now I'm hungry too!

*runs off to decide what seasoning to add to tonight's low fat potato wedges*

[Squeaksmyalias]

Why restrict yourself to a Creme Brulee torch? An ordinary blow torch will do just as well, or a hot grill or even one of those gas filled candle lighters & a bit of patience...

Because I've already been banned from using blow torches, grills I'm allowed to use with responsible supervision.

[ArcticChicken]

Sometimes I will follow the directions exactly, then my inner mad scientist takes over and I start to change stuff around. I'm a good cook, I just get bored and want to make things more interesting.

I've only recently gotten confident enough in both my ability and palate to alter a recipe before I've made it once.

Speaking of sharp knives, I think the BF's and my wedding registry will be composed almost entirely of high-end kitchen equipment, mostly good knives and some of the new non-stick cookware.

[Mishi]

I haven't made pies and I haven't made pastry from scratch! I also haven't (yet) made jams, jellies or bottled any fruit/veggies, because we eat all of the fruit and veggies. I haven't made creme brulee, jelly or pannacotta.

I'm not allowed blow torches either... but I have lovely sharp knives!
They slice through carrots as though they're cutting butter, and my cleaver makes short work of corncobs. My male friends wince when I'm cutting those up

[42_42_42]

[LEFT]My love of cooking is well known on these boards, but it's both funny and slightly embarrassing to admit some of the things I have never done as a cook.

Now, most of you know that I Don't Bake, but that's not what I'm talking about. I mean just basic kitchen things. These are not things that I've failed at, mind you, but things I've never even attempted.

For example, I have never separated an egg. For that matter, I've never boiled one either.

Separating eggs is easy. The ONLY "gadget" you need is attached to the end of either arm. Simply crack the egg with one hand into the other hand, cupped,w ith the fingers slightly open. The white will drip through your fingers into a bowl (oh, yeah, hold your hand over a bow). You can then deposit the yolk in another bowl. Make sure you clean your hands good before and after.

Boiling eggs is also easy. Place eggs in a pot. Cover with water. Bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. Set timer for 7 minutes. Remove pot from heat and place in sink and run cold water into pot until eggs are cool enough to handle. Store eggs in fridge for up to a month (yes, really).

I've never made sushi. Sashimi platters, yes, but never sushi, as I've never made the rice for it. Once I start making the rice (something I've been vowing to do for years), I'll be unstoppable with my rolls!

Reccommend Alton Brown's instructions on making sushi rice. I've not personally done it, as sushi-making is one of my hubby's "things", but he says its easy.

I've never blackened anything. Despite my love of blackened seafood, I've never actually made anything blackened myself. Pan seared, sure, but never blackened. Which, honestly, is just pan seared with the right seasonings, but there you have it: never been done in Jester's kitchen.

Haven't blackened anything, either. But that's because I don't care for it.

I've never worked with quail eggs. But then again, I don't think I've ever seen them in the store. (We have limited shopping opportunities down here, and I did not "discover" quail eggs till I lived here. No idea if you can find them in Phoenix stores.)

Also have not done that. They can be purchased at Whole Foods and the Dekalb Farmer's Market, both of which are up in Atlanta, so not exactly convenient for regular shopping for me. I do fully plan to get some sometime to make appetizers with.

I've never made lemon pepper anything. Sure, I have the seasoning in my spice tower, but only because a former roommate left it behind. Ditto with the cream of tartar. What the hell IS that, anyway?

Don't like lemon-pepper, either, so haven't even got that in the spice drawer. PP descriptions/definitions of cream of tartar are correct. It is primarily used in baking, so you probably will have rare call to use it. Should you desire at some point to whip egg whites, use 1/8 tsp cream of tartar per lg egg white when you are whipping and it will help stabalize the foam

I've never made my own barbecue sauce, though that will change soon. Ditto wings sauce. Ditto bleu cheese dressing, though I have made salad dressings before.

The only bbq/wings sauce I've made is cherry-ancho, which is simply cherry jam heated with ancho chile powder and a splash of lime juice. Bleu cheese dressing is super easy. Equal portions of sour cream and mayo plus bleu cheese a splash of lemon juice and as much black pepper as you desire. The great thing about making your own is you can make it as chunky or creamy as you like.

Odd. This just occurred to me. While I own two crock pots, I have never actually made anything in one. Kept stuff hot, sure. Actually did a slow cook thing in a crock pot? Nope.

Crock pots are great for doing a potroast when you won't be around to monitor the stove all day. Same for chilli and beef stew. Don't use mine very often either, which is kind of strange considering my mom is like the crockpot queen. She has at least 1/2 doz of the things and would have more if my dad didn't prevent her from buying them.

I have never julienned anything. Then again, my knife skills aren't that great.

Adding to the above, I have never cut anything into a chiffonade. Hell, I tend to just chop, dice, or mince. I'm more about flavor than artistry, sashimi platters aside.

If I need something juilienned, I break out my v-slicer. Chiffonade is easy though. Simply roll large-leafed herbage together into a cigar-esque shape and then slice through w/ your favorite chef's knife and presto! pretty little ribbons of herb. I generally use this with basil and that's about it.

I have never cooked with fennel (or anise, as some call it), despite the fact that it looks really interesting. There are lots of things I haven't cooked with, but this one just keeps popping up on all the cooking shows. What am I missing out on???

Fennel and anise, while both liquorice flavored, are not the same plant. Neither hubby nor I care for liquorice, so we don't use either much. We do have fennel seeds in the house, but not anise. I do occasionally ad a small amount of fennel to spice rub or brining mixtures for pork or beef. When combined with a lot of other herbs and spices, it becomes one parts that make the sum greater than the parts (if you follow). Anise tends to be used more in baking and fennel more in cooking, so if you want to expirement w/ one, you're better off purchasing the fennel.

The above, of course, speaks of the fennel seed and anise seed. The fennel bulb and fennel fronds can also be used in cooking and go very well with lamb. Again, IF you like liquorice flavored foods.

I have never made meat balls. Burgers? Sure. Meat Loaf? Made my first a few weeks ago. Meat balls? Nada.

Oh, come on. You can assuredly do meat balls they are super easy.

Meatballs

1 lb lean ground beef OR veal
1 lb ground pork
1/2 c grated parmesan cheese
1/2 c dry breadcrumbs
1 tbsp dried chopped parsley
2 tsp dried chopped basil
2 tsp dried chopped oregano
1 tsp dried chopped thyme
1 tsp dried rosemary
1/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1 - 2 tsp dried red pepper flakes (if you want spicey)
2 tsp kosher salt
2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 - 4 cloves garlic, minced (depending on how much you like garlic)
1/4 c minced onion
1 lg egg
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar

Mix all the ingredients together into an homogenous mixture. Divide into balls (I like to use dishers to make making uniform sized balls easier), approx 1/4 c for lg meatballs and 1/8 c for small. Brown on all sides in a lg skillet on medium heat. Drain on paper towels to remove excess grease and then add to your favorite tomato sauce and simmer for an hour.

I have never cooked duck. How the fuck have I never cooked duck? I don't know. I am not fond of turkey, so not having cooked that is not surprising. But duck rocks! Wait a minute....I just realized...I've never cooked a whole bird of any type! That seems rather fowl to me!

I've never made my own pasta. Always out of a box. (hangs head in shame)

Again, highly recommend Alton Brown's instructions and recipes for duck, roasting a chicken, and making pasta.

So, fellow CS cooks....what are your shameful little kitchen secrets? Inquiring minds want to know. Now if you'll excuse me, my eggs are fighting, so I have to go separate them.....

My shameful secret is that while I am a highly skilled cook and baker and can whip up a variety of complicated dishes and pastries I cannot bake yeast breads without my trusty bread machine. I refuse to let bread beat me, though and I hope with the help of a very good bread-baking book my hubster got me for Christmas I will, one day, be able to turn out a loaf of bread that's not a doorstop.

[42_42_42]

Yep well I might as well go ahead and confess. I was making garlic chicken. I was using a whole chicken and the recipe called for 1-2 cloves of garlic. I bought 2 of what I thought were cloves of garlic. I didn't know at the time they were actually bulbs of garlic. I used both bulbs of garlic in the chicken thinking I was using 2 cloves ...So yeah you can imagine how that turned out.

Ever heard of chicken and 40 cloves?

Ooops! Didn't read all the way through before replying.

Have to agree that two measley cloves of garlic wouldn't make for garlic chicken.

BTW when the above mentioned chicken and 40 cloves is made, the garlic is not chopped up. Cutting garlic makes it stronger, the more you cut it up, the stronger it tastes. Leave the cloves whole and you get a much different flavor than mincing them.

[Kittish]

I am a cook, and a darn good one (just ask my boyfriend and our friends). I've been expanding my horizons of late, adding lots of new dishes to my personal cookbook.

What haven't I done? I've never baked a loaf of a proper yeast type bread. I have done sticky bread, aka monkey bread from scratch several times, which involves yeast, but haven't ever done a proper loaf. I really should get a sourdough culture started and give that a try.

I've never made ribs. I know how, and my step mother showed me an excellent marinade to use, just never have gotten around to making any for myself.

I've never made my own salad dressing from scratch. I've done the mix packets of ranch, but they don't really count. I make stir fry sauces and pasta sauces all the time though, salad dressing can't be too hard. I've never made mayonaise. I'm a little intimidated by how finicky mayo can be to make. I haven't made bbq sauce either, but I've been eyeing a few recipes of late for that.

I haven't taken a shot at puff pasty (yet), though it doesn't look all that tough to make. The method seems very similar to how I make biscuits, with laminating the butter between layers of the dough.

What I HAVE done recently that I'm darned proud of was to make a cheesecake, a real baked cheesecake, from scratch. And it came out PERFECTLY, no cracks or bubbles or anything. It was almost a shame to cut it, it was so pretty.

My kitchen is terrific, acres and acres of counter space and lots of cabinets. Heck, I've got one entire lower cabinet that's competely unused right now. My boyfriend has also been getting me the various kitchen gear and gadgets I've been wanting. Some of the stuff, like a good sturdy box style grater is integral to a well equipped kitchen. Some of it, like the rice cooker, is just so I can be lazy sometimes.

You know, it never occured to me to simply crack an egg into the palm of my hand to seperate it. I use the shell method when I need seperated eggs. And if you have to seperate more than one or two, a GREAT way to use the yolks you have is to make a pudding or custard. You can take a basic custard recipe and add pretty much any sort of flavorings you want-chocolate, butterscotch, pureed fresh fruits....ooh, I bet you could even work out something tasty with RUM!

[Jester]

Living in AZ and thus not trusting the 'Fresh Fish' offered in the valley, I will never attempt to make sushi.

I have no doubt that there are reliable places in the Valley to get fresh fish. The trick is finding them. Hell, even here in Key West, not every place is reliable for sushi-grade fish. There are several places I will not buy sushi fish from, ever. And this is a freakin' island!

It's like the Viagra of baking.

Thanks to you and that phrase, I will never, ever, EVER forget what cream of tartar is for again!

I've never made lemon pepper anything, either. I've heard it's delicious, but it seems like an inexplicably weird thing to me, so I've never made it.

It doesn't seem at all weird to me, as I've eaten it, and it's quite tasty. Lemon and pepper go really well together, to be honest, especially on chicken.

I've been told my cooking is considered mad science, Sometimes I will follow the directions exactly, then my inner mad scientist takes over and I start to change stuff around.

That's pretty much how I work. I almost never use a recipe exactly. Modification of existing recipes is the basis for most "new" recipes, quite frankly. Just like Hollywood, very little is truly new in this field.

And this is also why I don't bake. I love taking ABC, deciding to add negative D and a double helping of E, mix in some L and W when no one's looking, and sometimes, just sometimes, throw in a pinch of § or φ just to mess with people (and because I can).

Baking is a science, but cooking is an art. 'Nuff said!

Family has learned to just stay out of the kitchen, and hope that I never get my hands on a Creme Brulee Torch.

I would be so tempted to get you that torch for your birthday, just to mess with your family!

Oh and I HATE not having sharp knives, HATE it. I plan on buying my own soon then not sharing...

Why not just buy a knife steel and sharpen your knives?

Cutting garlic makes it stronger, the more you cut it up, the stronger it tastes. Leave the cloves whole and you get a much different flavor than mincing them.

Also roasting garlic without cutting it makes for a very sweet, not pungent flavor, which is how you do a lot of things with garlic when you don't want that "bite" that garlic is so well known for. Hell, how do you think they make garlic ice cream? Certainly not with raw garlic!

I've never made my own salad dressing from scratch.

It's really not that hard. I've made a few vinaigerettes.

....ooh, I bet you could even work out something tasty with RUM!

I absolutely guarantee it!

Separating eggs is easy.

Boiling eggs is also easy.

Chiffonade is easy though.

Bleu cheese dressing is super easy.

Oh, come on. You can assuredly do meat balls they are super easy.

You seem to have confused "I've never done" with "I don't know how to do."

There is not one thing on that list that even gives me pause, and several of them I could do in my sleep....just haven't gotten around to actually doing them yet.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...give me a cutting board, a knife, and a skillet, and I can make just about anything!

As for the bleu cheese dressing, mine will not be so simple. I have some....ideas. It won't be typical bleu cheese dressing, that's for sure!

Reccommend Alton Brown's instructions on making sushi rice. I've not personally done it, as sushi-making is one of my hubby's "things", but he says its easy.

Thanks for the heads up....I'll check it out!

Crock pots are great for doing a potroast when you won't be around to monitor the stove all day. Same for chilli and beef stew.

There are lots of things I would use a crock pot for, including a couple things mentioned. However, chili ain't one of them!

My chili, which I am finally getting to where I want it (and which won my most recent chili cookoff), takes a few hours to cook, using an oven, a skillet, and a B.O.P. (Big Ole Pot, for those not in the know.) But a crockpot? Maybe I would use it for the final simmer, but that's about it.

Fennel and anise, while both liquorice flavored, are not the same plant.

I thought you were nuts, as I hear the phrases bandied about interchangeably on tv, and have seen in many grocery stores both words used to describe the same plant, sometimes listing it as both (i.e., "fennel, sometimes called anise").

But you were right. While researching that fact, I came across this:

In addition to the fact that they share a similar flavor, what often creates confusion among these two plants/foods is that fennel is often referred to as anise. Since the whole plant (bulb, stalks, fronds) of fennel is consumed while it is usually just the seeds from the anise plant that are eaten, if you see a vegetable-like plant called "anise," chances are that it is actually fennel.

So I was right saying the plant was the same, at least the one you would see in the market, but the two plants are clearly different specimens.

[Food Lady]

I've never made bread in a bread machine, only by hand. I've never made any kind of roast except a pot roast. I've never roasted a turkey, though I've roasted a chicken. I've never used a mandoline slicer, but would love to own one. I haven't made croissants.

[BexieSchmexie]

That's how I remember it, so why not share, right?

I know it tastes good, or so I've been told (I've never had it, either.), I just can't make it fit in my head. I know it's weird. On the other hand, I *love* garlic. Adore it. I've even gone to a garlic festival (and had garlic ice cream while I was there.).

I did go buy more yeast today specifically to make bread dough by hand. I've made other things that involve yeasty dough (Pioneer woman's cinnamon rolls are delicious. Heart attacks in a pan, but delicious just the same. I've been inspired, and there will be bread in my home this weekend!

[Jester]

I've even gone to a garlic festival (and had garlic ice cream while I was there.).

I have had garlic ice cream, but have not been to a garlic festival.

Yet.