In Which Taking A Stand Results In Progress...

[firecat88]

Kara, you're my heroine. Because even knowing that down the line you will lose something, you're still going ahead with what needs to be done. You're forging the path for others like you, and I just hope that somewhere along the way they learn who you are and what you've done for them. I know recognition for it isn't your biggest concern, I just think you deserve props for it. You really are one of the strongest people I know!

Quoted for truthiness. That you're fighting against all the bullshit and the sneakiness, risks be damned, is downright medal-worthy.

[stephenr]

Kara, I admire you because you are one of the strongest people I know online.

[Seraph]

It was a bigger surprise to me when I found out she was actually a guy...but I got over it in, oh, about 3 seconds.

Same here. I haven't seen pics of Kara though, lol.

Kara, very proud of you, and how you've been handling all this craziness. I have a lot of respect for your steadfastness, and how you have such fight in you. =)

[Kara]

Okay... gonna be hard to be taken seriously with everyone making me blush or go, "Really? Awwww....."

Seriously though, thanks. I've never done anything like this before but I've gone too far to back down now (and why would I want to give anything up that I've gained?). And yes, if I stop to consider some of the potential risks and/or backlash that extend beyond just losing my job, it's downright terrifying. I'm getting better and kicking my fears in their asses and carrying on, but they don't give up. Fear and doubt try to set in every single day, several times a day. The support of my friends and family (after all this time, I consider this site "family") gives me strength to draw from when my own isn't enough.

What I'm getting at is that I'm still just a girl. I'm modest, okay? So I don't mind people seeing me as some kind of role model or even... hero (NEVER EVER thought anyone would think that of me), but I could not be here without you. Don't forget that.

[Cat]

I admire yout strength! continue to kick ass, girl

[ArcticChicken]

Kara, you are the most courageous person I know. Thank you.

[BrenDAnn]

First of all congrats Kara and keep on fighting til the bitter end. Second...Do you watch the TV show Queer as Folk? Just asking because that baseball bat scene is straight out of that show! Granted it's a gay teen that gets the bat to the head but still, same concept. In fact the scene played in my head when I read those words! Eerie!

[Kara]

Actually, never seen it. Heard of it, I think it's on a channel I don't get. It happens though, in the real world.

[dragon_wings]

Damn. Yeah that scene from Queer as Folk. *shudders* Love the show though. And Justin's revenge.

[Amina516]

Kara, rock on! Im so proud of you for getting the answers yourself. Let us know how the meeting goes.

[Dilorenzo]

Good for you, Kara. Glad to see that someone out there's still willing to stand up for what's right, even knowing the cost.

[Sapphire Silk]

I say dumbest because I know I've already lost my job. Everyone thinks I'm charging ahead blinded by the truth. I've heard this from several coworkers, and I know a lot of people here are thinking it too. But the fact is that I am not blind to the cold, hard fact that they will fire me for this. Not directly, that would be a lawsuit. But there will come a time when they will find a way to get rid of me. They will cite some generic bullshit reason, maybe like what happened to me at T-Mobile. But the reason BEHIND the reason is this. You don't challenge the system and go about your merry way unscathed. They claim to want to protect me from getting hurt by inmates. That doesn't bother me. There's already a target on my back just because of the simple fact that I am an officer. And now there's another target on my back. Unlike inmates, who are all talk, they will take the shot when they have the chance.

Sadly, I agree with you. The same thing happened to me when I exposed a colleague who was having a sexual relationship with one of our inmate trustees in the last prison where I worked. However, I also know that while I was scapegoated to protect the administration from embarrassment, that the relationship was broken up and better supervision of the trustees and staff instituted to improve security, which was the point of the entire exercise to start with.

However, I hope you are documenting everything you do with HR over this. Because if they do try to fire you for a generic reason, you still have a lot of ammunition for a lawsuit and I encourage you to explore your legal options in that regard.

You are at no more risk from an inmate over your coming out than any other officer. I've known plenty of COs who were openly gay/lesbian and it didn't affect their risk at all. Inmates don't care about sexual preference or gender identity. They care about who they can manipulate. And they can't manipulate you because you are being open about who you are. So that excuse is bullshit.

[Kara]

The same thing happened to me when I exposed a colleague who was having a sexual relationship with one of our inmate trustees in the last prison where I worked.

They decided to start calling ours "porters" a few years before I started. Because someone brought up that "trustee" gave the impression that they could be trusted

However, I hope you are documenting everything you do with HR over this. Because if they do try to fire you for a generic reason, you still have a lot of ammunition for a lawsuit and I encourage you to explore your legal options in that regard.

My thoughts exactly. And I am keeping notes on everything that is said and done, and sharing every word with a trusted friend who is in the union.

You are at no more risk from an inmate over your coming out than any other officer. I've known plenty of COs who were openly gay/lesbian and it didn't affect their risk at all.

Absolutely. We have several open lesbian officers, and a few openly gay officers as well. And they do just fine.

Inmates don't care about sexual preference or gender identity. They care about who they can manipulate. And they can't manipulate you because you are being open about who you are. So that excuse is bullshit.

Very very true. They already know me, I've been there 3 and a half years. They know I don't play their games, I don't fall for their bullshit, and that if I catch them breaking the rules I will write them up. They actually respect me, not that I really care, because I am consistent. When I'm around, the punishment for violations will be the same no matter who does it. I don't let one guy off and write the next one up. They also know that if there is something hidden in their cell that they are not supposed to have, if I go in there I am going to find it. And they've all seen me have stare-downs with some of the biggest and baddest guys around. I don't care if they hit me, I will not back down. I have stood there eye-to-eye with a cold-blooded murderer who's trying to question my orders, thinking "Oh God, this is gonna hurt. But go ahead, asshole. Do it." Maybe it's because they aren't used to officers standing up to them, but they back down. Or they have so far. So they know I won't be pushed around or intimidated either.

None of that changes now that they know what I am. Because this is the way I was before anyone knew. And that's part of what I'm trying to get them to understand.

[42_42_42]

Kara, you are full of awesome.

[Akasa]

Kara, you are full of awesome.

I second this!