In which I'm a failure again

[Kanalah]

So I'm trying to go to school, and get certified as a vet tech (basically they do everything except major surgeries). The only times right now I can go to school is either in the evenings or online.

This semester I had 2 classes, Chemistry and my math course. Stupid me, for some reason I took the harder math class.

So it's midway through the semester, and because my math class is online, 90% of my grade comes from the tests. And I don't test well in math.

The deadline to drop classes is this Friday and I'm sitting on an 89% in Chem and a 58% in Algebra. I've worked my rear end off for both of these classes, spent all day studying before tests, done any and all extra credit I could.

On all of my math homework and quizzes, I have 95% average. It's the damn tests that are killing me.

The last day to drop classes is on Friday. I need to drop the math class and try another one next semester. I have to have a C in all of my classes to stay in this program. I'd have to make 100% on my last test to even come close to a C.

The problem is, they won't let me drop this class. Technically I should be able to, I don't know why they won't. Which means I have to leave early tomorrow and go down there before my Chem class and raise holy hell with the advisers. Because if I fail this class then I'll have to drop out of school again and then my husband will know what a stupid terrible person I am.

[Shangri-laschild]

Being bad at test taking doesn't make you stupid. Everyone is different when it comes to learning and other school stuff like tests. I'm impressed as hell at anyone who's able to take an online class. I had a hard enough time making myself go to in person classes (sometimes when I was already on campus anyway). Not testing well doesn't always have to do with not knowing the material or being stupid. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[ArcticChicken]

Yeah, test taking shows one thing: how good you are at taking tests. Take me, for example, give me the subject matter and a couple days to study it, and I can pass most tests with flying colors. Can't remember a damn thing the next day, though.

[Teysa]

Somehow I doubt your husband married you for your test taking skills. One failed class does not make you a failure at life. Having to drop out of school also does not make you a failure.

Good luck with talking to the advisers. May I make a suggestion for next semester? Since you don't seem to have trouble with the material itself, try to think of the test as just another homework assignment.

In the meantime give yourself credit for what you have accomplished. Anyone who can get an 89 in chemistry is not stupid. And I could be wrong, but I have a feeling your husband will love you no matter what.

[Kanalah]

The main problem is, if I can't drop this class, my grade will be too low to sign up for next semester's classes. So basically I'll get kicked out of school again.

I've dissapointed my husband enough. My own family hates me so it's not like I can go back there either. I'm basically looking at being homeless.

I'm pretty sure my husband and the kids will be a lot better off without me. My daughter already hates me anyways.

[Imprl59]

I always did horrible in the advanced math classes as well. It's like my brain is a math etch-a-sketh. I have it down and understand then I shake my head and it's all gone again. Perhaps you can take this class by itself another semester and be able to get through it or get someone who understands to help you with it. Does the school have any tutoring available?

Your husband and kids definatley wouldn't be better off without you. You'll get through this one way or another. Try not to let it get you toooo upset.

[Kara]

*hugs*

Now you sound like I used to. Trust me, that kind of thinking doesn't help anyone. And you are not at all stupid or a failure. I did fine in math until high school. That's when that little fucker X got lost and they wanted me to find him all the time. And my math grades tanked. I just barely graduated my senior year by pulling off a 69% in Geometry.

It was the damn tests that killed me. And based off my ACT scores, they put me in this "Intermediate Algebra" class in college and wouldn't allow me to take anything else. I was required to take it AND pass it. And 5 times during the semester they gave us a test. We only had to pass it once, but if we couldn't pass that goddamned test, we would fail the class regardless of what our grade in the class was. I did passable work in the class but thanks to that test, I had to retake that entire class for 4 semesters before I finally passed it.

Then I realized I was wasting my time and money and dropped out of college. By no means am I suggesting that you should drop out of school, but in my case it worked out because I really hadn't figured out what I wanted to do when I grew up. Still haven't, for that matter.

If they give you a timeframe to drop a class, and now are telling you that you cannot drop it, then I would say raising holy hell is most likely your best option.

[Seshat]

First: you are not a stupid or worthless person.

Second: anyone who is capable of quilting like you can is capable of a mathematical/logical frame of mind.

Third: anyone who is capable of quilting like you can is BLOODY MARVELLOUS.

Fourth: I bet you either have a problem with test-taking, which is a skill which can be learned; or you have a problem with some fundamental level of math. In other words, some math teacher somewhere back in primary school didn't get a basic principle into your mind in a way that worked for you.

The following questions are diagnostic questions, to help you figure out what the problem is, so that you can tackle it.

Are you fine with math assignments, math homework, etc? If you don't have a time deadline or the dreaded word 'test', can you do math easily enough?

If you're fine with math assignments etc; can you do an assignment if you have a deadline? (Such as 'I need to get this done tonight, I have to do quilting for the show tomorrow'.) If so, it's possible you have a mental block when it's a 'test'. Try doing a practice test while telling yourself it's an assignment with a deadline. See if that works. If not, you may need to come up with other tricks. We'd be happy to help.

If you can't do an assignment on a deadline successfully, you need test-taking skills. Most colleges and universities (at least in Aussieland) offer 'study skills' classes and booklets and online information: one of those skills is test-taking. If you need me to, I'll google for some.


If you have problems with math assignments and homework even without deadlines, it's probable that there's a fundamental gap in your knowledge. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. If anything, it's the fault of whichever teacher was supposed to put it there, plus the system for not finding out it wasn't, and not fixing it.
However, it is your problem to fix. Unfortunately, the only way I know of to find out where the problem is, is to grab a set of math books and flip through them, doing at least one easy and one hard problem from each chapter, until I run into the one where I go WTF? and can't understand it.
Then I know that this is at least one of my knowledge gaps, and I sit down and study that chapter. If I can't understand it, I either find a book dedicated to that topic, or I assume that I need to study something that that particular bit of math relies on.
(For example, if you don't understand the number line, you will probably have trouble with cartesian geometry. And if you don't understand 2D cartesian geometry, 3D will be even harder. And vectors rely on cartesian geometry, so if you don't get geometry, you'll be confused by vectors....)

Naturally, you will need to do the 'raising holy hell' bit first.

But please understand: a lot of us here are geeks, a fair percentage of geeks are math geeks, and you have friends in this community. Ask for tutoring.

Okay?

[Kanalah]

*sniffle* you guys.

I actually hate math but do pretty good in it. I was off on my ACT by one point in math, so I had to take intermediate algebra over the summer. Made a 91%.

I don't have a problem with the work, my average with homework and quizzes is 95%. I think the problem is that I do most of the work at home, and I'm comfortable here. When I need to go take a test, I have to go down to the testing center on campus.

Just so I can go take a test, I have to plan what day I'm going to go, find a sitter, then drive down and sit in a cold uncomfortable room. By the time I make it to campus, I'm already stressed out.

Besides, with every test the teacher has changed stuff around. The first test, she said that the testing center didn't have the tests and to wait for word from her before driving down. Then a week later she was complaining that only a few people had taken the tests. I was supposed to head down and take another test today, but she moved the dates around again.

I'd take a lucky charm or something with me, but all my stuff except a calculator and pencil has to go into a locker in the office.

I'm always nervous in new places, but usually by the time there's a test, I'm comfortable with the classroom and do alright. Hubby really wants me to hurry up and finish school so he can retire early, and I guess he's putting lots of pressure on me.

I did send an email to the school advisors, politely telling them that I feel like I'm stuck in a catch-22. I can't drop the class that I'm failing, and if I fail a class I can't register for spring.

Just got a response back and the head advisor is working on it. I just feel really bad dissapointing hubby. But at least I know that I do understand college algebra, and I'm really good at logarithmic functions. The other math class is much easier and I'm hoping to take that in the spring.

My brain is just really messed up because of my parents. I don't want to dissapoint people because then they won't love me anymore.

[Marmalady]

My brain is just really messed up because of my parents. I don't want to dissapoint people because then they won't love me anymore.

*hugs*

If we had to be perfect to be loved, there'd be no hope for any of us. You are trying your hardest, and nobody can ask any more of you than that.
*gives double chocolate cookies*

[Rapscallion]

My brain is just really messed up because of my parents. I don't want to dissapoint people because then they won't love me anymore.

If they love you, they'll stick with you through thick and thin.

Rapscallion

[Seshat]

I *told* you that anyone who can quilt like you can is capable of a mathematical frame of mind.


Okay. Given those testing circumstances, anyone would be stressed. I still have 'taking a test' nightmares, and I haven't done any formal education for twenty years!


Tell the advisors who are working on your problem what the test-taking conditions are like: tell them exactly what you told us. Any sensible advisor will do something about it.


Finally, take a little bit of money, and go buy yourself a lucky test-taking shirt. Browse around until you find something that fits wonderfully and you feel fantastic in it. Then put a picture of it up in this thread, so we can all send our love and support into the shirt.
Then you can wear that shirt to tests. It's part of your clothing, right?

[BlaqueKatt]

Finally, take a little bit of money, and go buy yourself a lucky test-taking shirt. Browse around until you find something that fits wonderfully and you feel fantastic in it. Then put a picture of it up in this thread, so we can all send our love and support into the shirt.
Then you can wear that shirt to tests. It's part of your clothing, right?

I know the perfect shirt:

well two actually,

this one

and

this one

[Kheldarson]

Hey Kanalah, I did a lot of tutoring in math during college. Do you have Skype or AIM? I'd be willing to help you out.

[charred]

Talk to the instructor, they should have workarounds for people who don't test well.

Also, you need to cut yourself some slack. Failure leads to wisdom, wisdom leads to success.

Finally, thoughts like "[everyone] will be better off without me" are dangerous. Perhaps it is time for professional help? Losing Plaidman was bad enough; we don't need a repeat.