America's Got Talent, Season 7

[Jester]

Allow me to comment on today's youtube show for AGT.

Well then. That was....disappointing. I've seen better audition shows than the vast majority of dreck paraded before us tonight. Seriously? THIS was the best America could vote for from all the submissions? I don't remember last year's youtube show being this damn bad.

The culprits:

CLINT CARVALHO AND HIS EXTREME PARROTS: Extremely boring. Yeah, the judges were impressed, but I'm sorry...his pet came when called. Sure, from on top of a building across the street, but overall, it just didn't do it for me. To Clint's credit, this was still one of the best acts of the night. Sadly.

REVERSE ORDER: Average garage band. Nothing special at all.

RUDY COBY: The final effect was decent, but overall, the routine lacked timing, cohesiveness, and purpose. It was the worst thing a magic act could be: boring. My biggest regret was that his decapitation was just an illusion.

7 IN UNISON: Dance recital level. Period.

DREW ERWIN: I love the song he chose and was excited to see a guy do it and reverse the genders in the song. He was decent enough, but keeping with the theme, nothing all that special, and didn't bring a fraction of the energy that this song normally brings. In a way, this was a bigger letdown than a lot of the sucky acts, because he won the youtube voting, AND I love that damn song.

MELINDA HILL: Someone who moved around a lot and loves making people laugh. I identified with her. A hot blonde in hot leather boots. I am very much in favor of that. I so wanted her to nail it. And she bombed. Badly.

ERIC BUSS: Okay, this guy had me giggling from the sheer silliness of it all, but was it a million dollar act? No. It was a two minute DVR act. And sadly, this did have potential, but it needed to be bigger, wilder, zanier, and his timing with the music needed to be better. The gadgets are there, but he, it seems, is not. (Small kudos to him for following Tom Cotter's lead and using a prop for his call number. Sadly, that was one of the funniest parts of his performance.)

ROMEO DANCE CHEETAH: Wacko. And not in a good way. Not only wouldn't this play on the stages of Vegas, it wouldn't even play in the streets of Vegas. Can someone do a great air guitar act? I dare say it's possible. Can this guy? Hell no!

CAST IN BRONZE: My apologies to Treasure, and perhaps he is better in the shows you see him, but this guy just sucked out loud. The judges agreed with me, giving him three X's (the only act to get three X's, incidentally), but they were all visual X's, as they were outside away from their buzzers. Not that it would have mattered, as I doubt he would have heard the buzzers over his instrument. I had two issues with this act. One, if you're gonna play a four ton bell instrument, try picking a song other than the most obvious choice for a four ton bell instrument. It was, frankly, boring. But I could have overlooked that if it weren't the fact (which none of the judges seemed to pick up on) that it seemed to me like he was just miming playing the instrument, and that it was actually playing itself, a la a player piano, as several keys (hammers?) seemed to have a life of their own on many occasions, and he seemed to be just slamming his fists into various sections, rather than actually playing anything.

So this show was dreadful top to bottom, right? Not so fast, my friend. There were three acts worthy of calling themselves Talent.

THE MAGIC OF PUCK: I always comment on the magicians, being on myself. And yes, I have some idea of how he did some of his routine. But that doesn't matter, because I was highly entertained and thrilled to watch him, and can't wait to see what else he has in store, as translating closeup magic (which I do, though I don't do that trick) to the stage is a tall, tall order.

BRIA KELLY: I hate country music. Bria Kelly could change my mind on that. Need I say more? This girl rocked out, and with the suckitude on display tonight, I would be shocked if she didn't advance. The girl has some serious pipes on her, and didn't seem at all nervous. I was stunned the judges didn't love her as much as I did, to be honest. But at 16, she has nowhere to go but up, and I think she is going to go far in this competition. I dare say she has the ability to be in the final ten.

All throughout this show I was wondering where the truly great acts were, as last year's youtube show was far better, and gave us that amazing goth dance troupe that just tore it up and made it, as I recall, to the final four. And then....

ACADEMY OF VILLAINS took the stage. And simply electrified the place. I personally thought last year's goth dance troupe (whose name escapes me other than that it was boring, the only boring thing about them) was better, but only by a hair. These guys are GOOD. Watch them. (And last year's got dance troupe, whose name I escape....take note....this is the kind of name a goth dance troupe should have!!)

So yeah, most of the show sucked donkey balls. But I have to thank those first 8 acts and Cast in Bronze, as they were gracious enough to be the opening acts for these three truly talented ones.

[Juggler]

I hate those talent shows...

...just because you can't compare the different types of acts. Being a good singer is a genetic gift. Being a good juggler, magician takes years of practice. It is hardly comparable. Hell, you don't see the best jugglers on stage. Any number greater than 5 is wasted on an audience and unfortunately a lot of the easy tricks look hard and vice versa.

With magic there are different tastes. I like close-up with non rigged objects. I still never figure it out but I like knowing that I'm seeing hard won skills practiced by an expert. If you are using rigged devices or stooges the designers of the devices and the stooges should be taking the bows.

And Simon Cowell is a douche.

[Jester]

Being a good singer is a genetic gift. Being a good juggler, magician takes years of practice.

Yes and no. Yes, it is a genetic gift, but even people who are genetically gifted need to practice and hone their craft. Michael Jordan, for example, was a naturally gifted basketball player. He became the greatest basketball player through his work ethic and constant practice. There are lots of athletes and musicians who are naturally talented, but they only become great when they actually work at it.

If you are using rigged devices or stooges the designers of the devices and the stooges should be taking the bows.

Again, yes and no. A rigged device still takes skill to operate, and a lot of practice to operate well to complete the illusion. A truly great magician can make it so you have no idea if they are using rigged devices or not. In the end, a magician is there to entertain you, and the basic question is this: did they, or didn't they?

And Simon Cowell is a douche.

Well, duh.

[Andara Bledin]

Being a good singer is a genetic gift.

No. No it's not.

Having a decent singing voice is a genetic gift. Being good requires training and practice.

I'm a musician. Like most of my family, I have a natural talent at playing instruments. I've always been really gBut I'm never going to be a professional musician myself because I never took my training seriously; it was too easy for me, so I learned a lot of lousy habits and never really developed any discipline.

^-.-^

[Jetfire]

The Bells guy had potential, but he picked entirely the wrong song (being completely obvious AND being out of season). I'm not sure if it was a Player Bell Ringer or not, because it seemed like it had foot pedals too that he may have been tapping too; but overall it was off. (Part of it too was the background music was too loud and overpowered the bells too).

Puck put on a great show with his dancing handkerchief. I hope he doesn't take the judge's advice and try to amp it up too much. Big flashy tricks have a bad habit of burning on this show (look at the other magician on that very show), while his simpler tricks and good personality/timing sold him.

Speaking of the other magician, the act had potential. It certainly had the right look to it. But his timing was atrocious, and his actions were obvious (as in it was obvious he was putting the puppet on the hand in the cage before it 'fell' to the front and started going by itself.) I didn't notice how the switch was done, and I didn't care enough to rewind to try and figure it out. (Plus there was a camera cut to the judges at a key moment which makes me wonder if the act was flubbed up even worst).

Anyways, of the other acts, the Academy of Villains were fantastic, and could probably have gone through the regular rounds with ease. The red arm sleeves mimicing Queen was a great visual, and each area had personality with the song. Then, in their dance portion, I saw a lot of impressive flips and moves. Looking forward to seeing them again.

The rest of the acts were pretty much horrible. I didn't watch the result show, but seeing the results on Wiki, I suspect the judges had to pick the least bad of two horrible choices.

That said, despite him getting buzzed, I think I would have wanted to see the snake can guy again. He reminded me of the Popsicle stick guy last year (Kinetic King) with a similar novelty act. Some of this guy's snakes didn't pop, but overall it was a nice visual. (And IMO it would have been more entertaining to watch a second time than some guy calling his bird to the stage)

[Jester]

The results were quite predictable. About as predictable as they've ever been.

As for the snake can guy vs. Kinetic King: Kinetic King created a visual that was simply astounding, and you couldn't take your eyes off the screen. Well, when it worked, that is. The snake can guy, on the other hand, was part of his act, and as part of his act, he was the least interesting part. His timing was off, not all of his cans went off, and frankly, as silly and fun as it was, it got boring rather quickly.

Someone with more personality and better timing than snake can guy could have probably pulled off that same act with awesome effect, though. Then again, maybe not. Just a thought.

[Mytical]

Honestly besides Academy of Villains (Spelling) and the parrot guy..could have cared less about the entire show. The fact that they basically showed it twice (again right before the results show) was a moment. I know this doesn't add much to what has been said, so that is why I hadn't really bothered with this one. The parrot guy has to do something really impressive for me to really care about him past this week, but the one saving grace for me for the whole week was AoV.

P.S. As for Romeo Dance Cheetah. I've seen some lame acts, I've seen some bad acts. I've even seen some bad AND lame acts..and those..seemed professional compared to this guy. What drugs was America on when they voted him into the youtube finalist. Cause whatever they are, they need to share..cause that is some GOOD (or rather BAD) Stuff.

[Treasure]

CAST IN BRONZE: My apologies to Treasure, and perhaps he is better in the shows you see him, but this guy just sucked out loud. The judges agreed with me, giving him three X's (the only act to get three X's, incidentally), but they were all visual X's, as they were outside away from their buzzers. Not that it would have mattered, as I doubt he would have heard the buzzers over his instrument. I had two issues with this act. One, if you're gonna play a four ton bell instrument, try picking a song other than the most obvious choice for a four ton bell instrument. It was, frankly, boring. But I could have overlooked that if it weren't the fact (which none of the judges seemed to pick up on) that it seemed to me like he was just miming playing the instrument, and that it was actually playing itself, a la a player piano, as several keys (hammers?) seemed to have a life of their own on many occasions, and he seemed to be just slamming his fists into various sections, rather than actually playing anything.

He has foot pedals, as well as the ones he hits with his hands - he's being doing this for 21 years - his timing is intuitive at this point...

I agree that he should NOT have used Carol of the Bells - even if that song was written for the instrument he played.... I was hoping he'd chose something more like "O Fortuna" or "Tubular Bells"....

I have nearly fallen asleep to his shows - NOT due to boredom, but because it relaxes me that much -

and trust me there is nothing like hearing the bells ringing faintly across the Texas Renaissance Festival, chasing down the sound on a crisp autumn day to Sherwood Forest cloaked in the tall trees...the sunbeams dancing with shadows, coming upon Cast in Bronze ...and finally uncovering the mysterious and powerful source of the bells echoing through the woods with the whole ambiance of TRF surrounding them

[Mytical]

Ok I know it is early, and thus *SPOILERS* but here is my take on the night.

To quote a famous saying. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." The highlights were great, amazing, awesome..the rest..I would have given three red x's to.

First off..WHAT THE HECK WAS HORSE DOING BACK?!! *ahem* sorry about that. Of all the acts..why? I guess it could have been worse..could have been Big Barry.

Anyhow...

Spenser Horseman - Sorry, I got bored. Would have given him three red x's. Next.

All That - I thought they were very good, and I loved the silhouette thing.

Jerrett and Raja - I was impressed *shrugs* Their act is better critiqued by Jester.

Jake and Christian - X...enough said.

Todd Oliver - I laughed. So that was a good thing. Sad thing is..the dog WOULD have been a better ... never mind .. too many spoilers

The rest besides Andrew - X for all of them, enough said.

Andrew - Ok I am biased..I WANT this guy to win. I am PULLING for this guy to win. He is AWESOME in my opinion. Time may prove me wrong, but man I sure hope he gets put through.

[Jester]

Well, alrighty then! Just got done watching the wild card show, and after the hugely disappointing youtube show last week, I wasn't sure what to expect. But as bad as the youtube show--and it was bad--tonight's show was awesome. So...in order:

SPENCER HORSMAN: I am not the biggest fan of escape acts. Some are pretty awesome, most are boring and lame to me. And I have not been overly impressed with this guy in his earlier runs in the show. But tonight? Impressive. Simply impressive.

ALL THAT!: I'm sure the ladies loved it. And while I am not a fan of clogging, even when ladies do it, I have to admit that I was pretty amused by the added projection element, which was entertaining. And honestly, last week this would have been in the top four. But this week? It ain't all that.

JARRET & RAJA: Impressive trick. Not all that impressed with the setup or the stage personalities of these two, but the end result was pretty astounding. I think it would have been even more impressive if the piano had been played continuously throughout the whole trick, but that's just one jaded magician's opinion, and it's nitpicking. Well done trick.

JAKE WESLEY ROGERS: Didn't like him before, not really fond of him now. And before anyone accuses me of just being an old fuddy duddy, I actually love that song. He drained all the life and energy out of it. While he was singing, the phrase "lounge act" went through my head. Don't get me wrong, the kid has talent, and probably a future in music, but I will be glad to see him go tomorrow.

CRISTIN SANDU: Probably one of the best failures I've ever seen. That being said, even if he had gotten it, I don't know that it would have been enough to get in the top four and move on.

TODD OLIVER (AND IRVING): Hilarious. Seriously hilarious. I agreed with the judges that their last performance was a bit stale and dry. This stuff was topical and political without being overly edgy, offputting, or partisan. They insulted both sides, got some amusing dog jokes in without making them seem stale or obvious, and overall, I thought it was their best performance yet.

BANDBAZ BROTHERS: Astound feat of strength and balance, and probably a hundred times more dangerous than it looks--and it looks fucking dangerous! Again, I don't think this one had enough umph to move on. Would I watch their show? Probably. Would I pay to see it? Probably not.

SEBASTIEN "EL CHARRO DEL ORO": Kid has charisma, and the group is talented and took a risk with this, but I think it played well, and finished strong, and it will definitely get a lot of "cute" votes, even though this act is clearly NOT just about being cute.

HORSE: Do I think Horse will move on? No. Do I think that a whole hell of a lot of people around the country were watching this and laughing their fool heads off? Oh, HELL yes. I was. It was juvenile, slapstick, "Jackass" style humor at its absolute best and most simplistic, with some serious shock value thrown in because of what the act is. I think Horse is a dark horse to sneak into the top four. Seriously. I'm not nuts when I say that, either.

LINDSEY NORTON: Fantastic dancer, graceful and beautiful, and a delight to watch. She will, sadly, get lost in the shuffle on this show. But the absolute winner for the whole season for most down-to-earth I'm-just-having-fun personality. The kind of girl you would want your son to date--or the kind of girl you would want to date if you were a teenager. I know *I* fell for this kind of girl all the time back in the day. Damn shame to see her go.

ANDREW DE LEON: Astounding. A lot of Middle America will think this guy and his act is too freaky. But a lot of Middle America has thought the same of many amazingly talented acts over the decades, and there are enough people who enjoy this kind of stuff to vote for him. I don't like opera, but this kid is just overflowing with talent.

BEN BLAQUE: I gave grudging respect to him his first couple times, but asked a question the judges asked: why was HE wearing the flack jacket if he was shooting at HER? Well, tonight he turned everything upside down, and did one of the craziest things I've ever seen. Nicely done!
(I did notice, as I'm sure many people did, that when Devon held up her fingers to indicate the number to call, she unwittingly did it backwards, so that it was 21 rather than 12 as the audience and cameras viewed it. As a performer myself, I often make this mistake with cards when I have to form numerical sequences with them, going from MY left to MY right, which is of course backwards for the audience. And I've never performed on national television while being shot at, so I am going to cut her a lot of slack on that one!)

So, who were my four favorites? Spencer Horsman, Todd Oliver and Irving, Horse, and Lindsey Norton.

Who do I think will get voted through? Spencer Horsman, Todd Oliver and Irving, Andrew De Leon, and Ben Blaque, though there may be one or two surprise dark horses.

[Jester]

Jerrett and Raja - I was impressed *shrugs* Their act is better critiqued by Jester.

Actually, not true. I do closeup magic, and know very little about stage magic, as I have said in the past. What you are seeing is the same thing I am seeing, with really very little difference in knowledge. So you, and anyone else in here, are just as good critiquing them as I would be.

[Jester]

Semi-Finals, Part 1.

Altogether a pretty good show tonight. In order:

Andrew de Leon: Didn't disappoint, brought it. But, will American buy into a goth singing opera? Hard to say.

Todd Oliver & Irving: Hilarious, and while they did stick to some obviously tried and true generic jokes, the funniest bits were definitely the topical jokes.

Donovan and Rebecca: Stunning, graceful, amazing, and not something you see every day. Truly what this show is about.

Edon: From day one, I just haven't gotten him. Or more precisely, why everyone loves him so much. Good singer? I guess. He doesn't make cats run screaming. But...what? What's the big deal? I just don't get it. Still don't. Frankly, he bores me. (And no, I am not a Bieber fan, but I do understand why so many people are. I don't think this guy is in the same league as Bieber talentwise, and I have frankly seen other singers his age that I thought were far better.)

The Scott Brothers: I thought they were very good this week, but last time they performed, they were spectacular. They did have a couple moments of brilliance, to be sure, but to me this was a slight step down, and at this level, against this talent, that small step might could be huge.

Eric Dittelman: As I've said before, I am a magician with friends who do mentalism acts, though I myself do not. With that being said, I have three things to say.
1. Yes, I pretty much fully understand the shape part of the act.
2. No, I'm not going to tell you how he did that.
3. I often say I have theories or ideas of how a magician or an illusionist did something. With the Howard part of the act, I don't have the vaguest fucking clue how he did that. I am as stumped as everyone else, perhaps even more so because of my aforementioned association with mentalists. He seriously left me scratching my head, and I have little doubt that America is still going "But...but....but....and....how....but.....what... .wait.....WHAT?" Because I certainly still am.

Turf: He is and always will be awesome. Sadly, I just don't think he did enough to move on tonight, though.

Bria Kelly: I hate country music, but I could listen to this girl sing all the time. Amazing voice, amazing pipes. But she's a rookie surrounded by All-Stars. I'd love to see her move on, but would be shocked if she did. Just too much talent in the competition. But it wouldn't surprise me if this were not the last we've heard of her....she may yet become a star.

Joe Castillo: Stunning, moving, amazing, unusual, unbelievable, and great. And yet I still think tonight was his worst showing. He's that good that I think he's done far better, and yet he may still advance.

William Close: I've said about a few acts that I think they can win. From day one, I have believed that this guy and his fantastic Earth Harp (and other instruments) WILL win. He is, to me, just so far ahead of everyone else in polish and presentation. And he has something no one else has: the Earth Harp. It truly is amazing. If he doesn't advance, Congress should investigate.

Tom Cotter: His best performance by far, and he has now cemented himself as the best comedian I've seen in my two seasons of watching this show. Hell, he is better than a lot of "name" comedians I've seen, not only with his material, which is hilarious, but with his sharp delivery and perfect timing. Dude is hilarious. And while I think William Close deserves to and probably WILL win, I actually want Cotter TO win. I was laughing loudly at his act. Even his post-act interview was hilarious. And the fact that he had that much material prepared and ready to go shows not only confidence (it's only cockiness if you can't back it up), it shows a level of professionalism unmatched by the vast majority of acts on AGT.

Academy of Villains: Actually thought their last performance was better. The first half of this one bored me, though they did get my attention with a stellar second part.

So, who do I think will move forward? William Close, Tom Cotter, and....someone. Though who it is I can't even guess at. Perhaps Dittelman continues to ride the wave of headscratching and "Howdeedodat?!?"s. Stranger things have happened.

[Mytical]

Tonights acts were way too good for me to pick three. I couldn't even pick four. As much as I really really want Andrew to advance..I just don't know if he is going to make it. There were some fantastic acts tonight. So I am not even going to try to pick three, just gonna get prepared for Andrew not making it, just in case.

[Jester]

Tonight's Semi-Final show....

ALL THAT: Were they good? Yes. Was the trick as mind-blowing as they promised? No. Look, I've never truly gotten this act, and I still don't. And considering the other acts on this stage tonight, I think this was the final time I am going to have to comment on these guys.

SEBASTIEN "EL CHARRO DE ORO": Another outstanding performance by this ten-year-old-going-on-thirty. Dude can sing, dude is an entertainer, dude has a future. Not sure if that future includes next week on AGT, but he certainly has a future in show business in some way.

THE MAGIC OF PUCK: Do I have a few theories of how he did this? Although I don't do stage magic, I THINK I have a good idea of how he pulled this off. Nonetheless, I thought it was an impressive trick and an impressive performance. I just don't think it will be enough to make the finals.

CLINT CARVALHO & HIS EXTREME PARROTS: Impressive bird. Clint's annoying. And even as impressive as the bird was, this act is not a headline Vegas act, it's not a million dollar act, and it was, in my opinion, the least impressive act of the evening.

JACOB WILLIAMS: I love this guy, but this was definitely his weakest performance on AGT. Material was weak, timing was off, and he seemed rushed. He has potential, he may well have a future in comedy, but this will probably be the end of the line for him on the show.

SHANICE & MAURICE HAYES: Howie's right. Shanice is the star. They are still a great duo, but eventually Maurice is going to have to let his little songbird leave the nest and make a career on her own. Good performance, but probably not enough.

ALL WHEEL SPORTS: They've done better. And the beginning was directionless and weak, and really made no sense. Thank you, good night.

TIM HOCKENBERRY: Great song, great version of it, great performance. Best I've seen yet from him. I believe he won over a lot of new fans tonight.

THE UNTOUCHABLES: This would have been a stunning performance from adults. From kids, it's simply mind-blowing. Nice "magic trick" in the middle of it, too. Slick, slick act. Definitely Vegas-ready.

OLATE DOGS: I think far too many animal acts go further than they should because of the cuteness of the animals or just because the audience loves the animals, and while a lot of their tricks are good, they are not great. This is NOT the case with this animal act, however. These guys have really stepped it up, and even I had to admit that their performance was top notch.

LIGHTWIRE THEATER: Stunning. Amazing. Fire away with your own superlatives, they'll fit. I especially loved the Matrix-esque slow motion parts of the act. These guys are stars. Finals for sure.

DAVID GARIBALDI & HIS CMYK'S: Every time I think these wackos can't impress me more than their last time. And every time, they prove me wrong. Stepped up their game? Check. Went bigger than last time? Check. Kept the audience enthralled? Check. Blew our minds with the final picture? Check, check, and check. I believe my exact reaction was "Whoa....!"

I believe that Lightwire Theater and David Garibaldi should and will get through to the Finals. The third spot I think will be a toss up between Sebastien, Tim Hockenberry, Olate Dogs, and The Untouchables, and I'm leaning a bit more towards the last two on this one.

[Jester]

I am sick. Absolutely sick.

Yes, the three acts that got through are all very good, but how in the flying HELL did Livewire Theater NOT get through? In my mind and in my opinion, they were the absolute best act of the second semifinal, better even than the three acts that made it through, as good as those three acts are.

The one positive for me is that now I am only going to have 2 of the 6 acts that I'm cheering for, rather than 3. Because I thought Livewire Theater was brilliant, and would have loved to see them win. But with them gone, I get to root for Tom Cotter, the last standing comedian, truly a brilliant comic mind that makes you wonder how he never got a real break in the world of comedy, to win it all, and I think he can. I also get to root for William Close and his Earth Harp Collective, truly one of the most amazing things I've ever seen on a stage, and while I am rooting for Tom Cotter to win, and think he can win, I have said from the beginning that I believe that William Close WILL win. Honestly, if either of these two win, I will be happy.

But what about the other four?

Olate Dogs is an amazing animal act. I just don't think it's better than the other acts in the final.

Joe Castillo is phenomenal at what he does, but I think he's peaked. I think we've seen his best.

The Untouchables are amazing dancers, even ignoring the fact that they're kids. They are spectacular, to be sure, but I think their best days are in front of them, after more training and more experience, and while they certainly will get a lot of the "love those cute kids" votes, I don't think they are going to win.

And the CMYK's? I want to say that I don't think that America will vote for a performance artist to win it, but they have voted these guys this far, so I can't really say that, can I? Are they creative? Sure. Entertaining? Absolutely. But how far can "guess what we're painting" go?

I think the finals will be Close. And by that I mean, of course, William Close. Harp on, brother.