Name change

[Amethyst Hunter]

Alright, kids, for the time being, I'm sticking around. No idea how long that will last, but the previous Cloud O' Doom appears to have pulled back somewhat, so I'm taking advantage of it.

One of the things I have always wanted to do is change my last name. I dislike the current one. This was made all the more evident to me by certain family issues I've been having recently. I don't hate my parents, but after being away from them for some time, I can REALLY see some patterns that I Do. Not. Like. One of the things that inspired my recent post about saying goodbye was an ugly fight, in which I nearly got stepped on in such a way that, if it had happened, I would have cut them out of my life entirely.

I don't forgive and forget, especially if the same offense happens more than once. (The only other sign that's this vindictive are Scorpios. It's easy for people to think that Libras are pushovers, and to some degree that's true. But I'll make you pay for it eventually, and pay dearly.) It's rare that I've given the permanent boot to people I know. I can probably count on one hand the number of people I've given the official "fuck off" to, including relatives. Generally, I get along with most folks.

But there are certain boundaries you don't ever cross with me. One of those boundaries got crossed by my parents once, a little over 2 years ago. I vowed never again. Then, recently, they tried to do it to me a second time, and this time I raised bloody hell. I think they knew they were fucking with me, because for the time being, they appear to have backed off on the issue. It's more or less a stalemate, which is fine - it's not the win I would have preferred, but I can live with it. For now.

Which (finally) brings me to the point of this post. (If you made it this far, sorry, I don't have cookies. I ate them all. But here, have a consolation ) I am working on keeping a balance between us - my folks, and me. Right now we're on better terms, but who knows how long that will last? As part of my metamorphosis, I'm thinking seriously about changing my last name. (Not real thrilled with my first and middle names either, but I can tolerate those better, especially since I go by the shortened version of my first and almost never use the full version or the middle initial except for legal paper shit.) It would be a way for me to further distance myself from the folks and establish my own footing, so to speak. But mainly because I've never liked the damn thing and have always felt that it held me back in life. (Nothing like a bunch of bullies warping it into something gross to permanently ruin a name for you.) I would like something a little cooler and ass-kicking.

There are two problems with this. (There are always problems.) The first is the most obvious. If I did change the last name, my parents would shit bricksplatters. Why, I don't know, but I'm not wasting any more energy on pondering what the hell goes through their heads. (Been there, done that, and had the damn post office send the clue-by-four back to me stamped "REJECTED".) Granted, I have the option of not telling them jack, which I would fully employ, but it's entirely possible that word of it could get back to them one way or another, in which case, cue another shitstorm that I don't need.

The second is easier. That's choosing the actual name. Behold, for I have compiled a(n) (ever-expanding) list of potentials:

- Castle
- Raines
- Bloodhart (or Bloodheart) - Saw this one somewhere and it's so ridiculous it's kinda cool.
- Kuroudou
- Banfield
- Foxfield
- Foxhart
- Foxriver
- Foxford
- Baron
- King
- Kingsfield
- Kingston
- Kingscross

Thoughts? Suggested additions? Type away.

[Der Cute]

I like Kingston
I like the Raines
I like the Kingsfield
Catran
Kardashian (NOT)
Fern
Wallace
Penston
Treston
Thurston
Ellison
Tyne
Hunter (easy peasy)

Are you making this stuff different from your own current name? And honestly, let them shit bricks. Your life, your self, your choice. Think of it this way: you'd have to change if you got married, right?
Fie on them. Do what YOU want and YOU need. PS: check if your cloud of doom has a schedule, like hormones or seasons or stuff.

PM if you need an ear, I have a consistent cloud of doom!

[Eireann]

I once met a woman with a last name I've always envied:

Stonecipher

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'd go with the Fox ones. Cuz foxes are awesome.

[HappyFun Ball]

I changed my last name for the same reason, I chose one that no one else had.

[ArcticChicken]

I'm glad you're sticking around.

I like Kingston from your list. I really like Tyne from Der Cute's list.

[Jester]

While I could suggest plenty of names, I won't. I will merely suggest that whatever name you choose should be something that is not only, in your mind, kick ass, but also has some personal meaning or connection to you. That should narrow the playing field considerably, I would think. It certainly would for me if I were considering the same thing. (Which I'm not...I love my last name. However, changing of the last name is not unheard of in my family. Just saying.)

[morgana]

Amethyst,

Just been thinking about this myself. At my age. No name suggestions, but a couple of comments and one other suggestion:

1. Let the parents shit whatever hurts them the most. They're obviously not making the effort to be your best friends anyway; why should they get a say in what you call yourself? (So they gave birth to you. So what?)

2. Like somebody uplist said, pick something that has meaning to YOU. My former room mate changed her name; the last name she picked belonged to some former neighbors of hers who greatly influenced her life for the better. Her mother would have had kittens; she didn't like those neighbors.

Suggestion: if you're not all that fond of your given names either, why not go whole hog? Start over! Change everything! Maybe then the Cloud O'Doom will be unable to find you!

Glad you're sticking around, whatever you decide.

[Greenday]

McLovin.

Surprised this thread made it this far without that suggestion.

Seriously though, just go with whatever feels right and don't settle with a name unless it feels 100% right.

[MoonCat]

Make it whatever feels right to you. If you want you can Google some name sites to find meanings of names, but those sites aren't necessarily accurate 100% of the time, so go with something that says it's you. And make it strong.

I'm glad you're sticking around.

[Der Cute]

Schwartz. Black. Weiss. White. Blanc. Peugot (lol no) Swans. Ellis. Soemthing to blend in, and not stick out.

[dragon_wings]

I don't like my first name and am meh about my middle and last names. Over 2 years ago I researched and found a full name I'd change it to if I could. Until then it's my alternate name on Facebook.
Do what makes you happy. Especially with the cloud o doom hanging around.
As to your parents? If they don't respect you (and it seems to me they don't) fuck em.
My roommate's dad is a huge douche bag. He refuses to call her by her chosen name (she hasn't changed it legally but plans to at some point). He also doesn't respect what she's doing with her life. She moved in with me to get away from the bigoted asshole and I'm pure evil in his eyes. Just cause I am helping her, like he should have been.
I hope you stick around for a while. PM me if you need to vent. I'm really good at listening and being a shoulder to cry on. ^_^

[Amethyst Hunter]

Swans

That makes me think of that insipid twit from a certain sparkly vampire series. Think I'll pass on that one.

The Cloud O' Doom has no schedule. It shows up when it feels like it. It leaves when it feels like it. Attempts to shoo it away are merely met with an amused sneer and a big fat middle cosmic finger in my face. The last time I tried to make it go away, it purposely ate a dozen bean burritoes and shit out some bad teeth, broken car taillights, animal bite and ER bill (which I'm still attempting to pay off), and a host of other miseries upon my head. It is therefore best to accept its presence and ignore it as best as one can.

Suggestion: if you're not all that fond of your given names either, why not go whole hog? Start over! Change everything! Maybe then the Cloud O'Doom will be unable to find you!

This has merit. Must ponder this. (I actually have a new first name in mind, and it's really not even that much different from my current first name. Only problem is...it's a BOY name. Although it could be taken to be a gender-neutral one too, I suppose...)

As to the personal meaning...only one of those names I listed has special meaning for me, but it kind of comes with a catch. It's Japanese. I couldn't pass for even remotely Asian if you spackled me with two-and-a-half-feet of Max Factor's finest and stuck me in traditional geisha-wear.

Also, Japanese people are (understandably) VERY protective of their culture. I'd hate to be seen as just another culture-hijacking asshole who thinks Japanese names are something trendy (even though the reason I like this particular name so much is because it has a certain special meaning for me).

@Jester: Go ahead, list your names. I'm curious. Who knows, you may have found something I didn't think of.

[Gizmo]

Consider trying to avoid the following just for ease:

- last letter of first and first of last name being the same (eg. Ken Name, Ariel Lagne) as it runs together. My husband has this problem and it does come out as one word.

- Try saying it several times to see if it runs together. This is most likely if your name ends on a 'soft' sound (say 'ca') and the beginning of the last isn't harsh enough. The funny things people hear when they hear my name are amazing!

- Try to avoid rhyming too much - names like that catch a lot of attention (certainly round here) and could make you feel insecure.

A mixture of the above appeals to me: Kingsheart.

As for the first name that isn't necessarily gender clear you won't be alone these days! There are so many names being used that aren't gender specific (or spelling specific!) these days that it shouldn't truly cause problems.

[ApolloSZ]

There are so many names being used that aren't gender specific (or spelling specific!) these days that it shouldn't truly cause problems.

"Its your own name. You could spell it any way you wanted, and say its pronounced anyway you want. It could be spelt zygyfixlkn and you can say "Its pronounced 'Smith'." - I want to say thats George Carlin, but I'm not sure.

Also, as a completely funny and non-serious suggestion:

Its spelt, Raymond Luxury-Yacht, its pronounced "Throat-Warbler Mangrove".

Back to seriousnessness -

At the end of the day, we can only offer suggestions from a wide range of experiences/knowledge (considering how many people and where we are from/have done). You have to find the one that fits you like a comfy glove. I think it will just happen. You'll see a name and think "thats it"

Maybe other cultures in general/that you have an interest in? Norse (Although I don't think "son of ..." will work XD) - maybe a Valkyrie name? Sigrún is related to "victory" I beleive (I think you sound like a fighter from what I read in some of your threads) Cos look at this thread, you didn't give in

Keep your head up
- Ulf the Quarrelsome (my SCA Name)