Those of you who have been members for a while will certainly remember the story of my friend, Tiny Dancer, from a few years ago. (Those of you who are not familiar with this story, please be forewarned that it is very, very depressing. As is what is about to follow.)
Well, it seems like history is repeating itself.
It seems that one of my coworkers, "Olga," is the victim of an abusive husband. I knew she was married, but it wasn't until the other day that I found out her husband (who by all accounts I've heard is way beyond batshit crazy) is very abusive towards her. In the last few weeks, he's intentionally broken her computer, her iPad, and her phone. At least one of them (I can't remember which) he broke over her.
And apparently he beats her, but in ways that are not visible to the public. (Apparently her back is one of his favorite targets.) They've been married for three years, I think, and she is still with him. She says she is moving out within the month, but her conviction on this point is not exactly what one would call overwhelming. When asked why she is still with him, she says things like "I love him" and "I'm addicted to him." Intellectually, she knows that this is stupid, but yet, she continues on.
Not all of my coworkers know about this. Olga made me promise not to tell anyone. And I won't.
"But Jester, you've GOT to tell the authorities!" Really? Towards what end? First, I don't know his name or where they live. Secondly, I don't have any hard evidence of this. Finally, and this is important, if she is not willing to go to the authorities herself, or even leave the guy, what good would someone else reporting it do? If anything, it could do more harm than good. She would know, for example, that I (or someone else) betrayed the promise given her. And it might entrench her further into staying with him, rather than finally making the break and getting the fuck out.
My one coworker and I have told her that this could very well end up with her death. I have told her about Tiny Dancer, and much to my surprise, she told me she knew about the story, as a couple of my coworkers who were around back then have related the story to her.
I fear that sometime soon, I will see yet another lovely young lady leave this world violently.
The cold impersonal side of me is thankful that this is not someone that is a close friend of mine who I've known for years. And in that sense, whatever happens will not affect me as much as the tragedy of Tiny Dancer did. That being said, I really don't want to stand by and watch this happen yet again. Towards that end, I have told Olga that if she needs help in any of this, any of her moving out, etc., etc., to let me know. Yes, against all better judgment, I am willing to put myself in the eye of the storm yet again. Possibly going up against a violent, psychopathic, convicted felon....if that sounds at all familiar. Although, since Olga and I are NOT really close, I don't know if she would actually come to me for that much help, as TD did.
I hate guys like this. I know in CS.com we are not supposed to condone violence against people, but I wish nothing but violence, pain, and suffering for this Grade A douchebag. Men like this who assert their manhood by beating on women who are half their size are anything but men, and should be made to suffer the worst punishments that can be devised. That is my firmly held opinion, and one I will not apologize for, ever.
I'm sorry if this brought up any bad memories or bad experiences for anyone. I truly am. But I had to share with someone, and since I promised her not to tell anyone about this, I figured I could share it here, where all the players are anonymous, and you folks are not people she knows. I figure that does not violate the spirit of the promise.
I really hate this shit.
Well, it seems like history is repeating itself.
It seems that one of my coworkers, "Olga," is the victim of an abusive husband. I knew she was married, but it wasn't until the other day that I found out her husband (who by all accounts I've heard is way beyond batshit crazy) is very abusive towards her. In the last few weeks, he's intentionally broken her computer, her iPad, and her phone. At least one of them (I can't remember which) he broke over her.
And apparently he beats her, but in ways that are not visible to the public. (Apparently her back is one of his favorite targets.) They've been married for three years, I think, and she is still with him. She says she is moving out within the month, but her conviction on this point is not exactly what one would call overwhelming. When asked why she is still with him, she says things like "I love him" and "I'm addicted to him." Intellectually, she knows that this is stupid, but yet, she continues on.
Not all of my coworkers know about this. Olga made me promise not to tell anyone. And I won't.
"But Jester, you've GOT to tell the authorities!" Really? Towards what end? First, I don't know his name or where they live. Secondly, I don't have any hard evidence of this. Finally, and this is important, if she is not willing to go to the authorities herself, or even leave the guy, what good would someone else reporting it do? If anything, it could do more harm than good. She would know, for example, that I (or someone else) betrayed the promise given her. And it might entrench her further into staying with him, rather than finally making the break and getting the fuck out.
My one coworker and I have told her that this could very well end up with her death. I have told her about Tiny Dancer, and much to my surprise, she told me she knew about the story, as a couple of my coworkers who were around back then have related the story to her.
I fear that sometime soon, I will see yet another lovely young lady leave this world violently.
The cold impersonal side of me is thankful that this is not someone that is a close friend of mine who I've known for years. And in that sense, whatever happens will not affect me as much as the tragedy of Tiny Dancer did. That being said, I really don't want to stand by and watch this happen yet again. Towards that end, I have told Olga that if she needs help in any of this, any of her moving out, etc., etc., to let me know. Yes, against all better judgment, I am willing to put myself in the eye of the storm yet again. Possibly going up against a violent, psychopathic, convicted felon....if that sounds at all familiar. Although, since Olga and I are NOT really close, I don't know if she would actually come to me for that much help, as TD did.
I hate guys like this. I know in CS.com we are not supposed to condone violence against people, but I wish nothing but violence, pain, and suffering for this Grade A douchebag. Men like this who assert their manhood by beating on women who are half their size are anything but men, and should be made to suffer the worst punishments that can be devised. That is my firmly held opinion, and one I will not apologize for, ever.
I'm sorry if this brought up any bad memories or bad experiences for anyone. I truly am. But I had to share with someone, and since I promised her not to tell anyone about this, I figured I could share it here, where all the players are anonymous, and you folks are not people she knows. I figure that does not violate the spirit of the promise.
I really hate this shit.
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