Betrayed by "friends"

[Automan Empire]

What Jester just said.

Don't let it turn you entirely cynical, though. Just tighten up those deflector shields, without making them so strong you can't allow worthy people close in the future.

I wish I could say it's the last time people will ever do this in life; it's not. I recently had a situation with a family I've been friends with for almost 15 years. They treated me as expendable; it ruined the friendship but not me. More than half a year later they contacted me, to discover it really was their loss.

Cheers!

[BlaqueKatt]

I guess the biggest question in my mind is "Why did she even agree to start hanging out in the first place then?" <snip> To just break off a budding friendship (at least, so I thought,) after a couple MONTHS of hanging out about once a week is a lot more painful.

There are people out there that feed their ego by hurting others, not saying she was one, not saying she wasn't(crystal ball is in the shop). Someone used my last husband that way, it eventually destroyed the marriage. And does she actually have a low ego, or low self-esteem(some people with low self-esteem are more prone to having ego problems that end up with them using others to validate themselves-the "OMG! everyone wants to sex me" mindset)

see-secure vs defensive and threatened egotism it seems to fit.

[Barracuda]

That might explain her "sleep with everyone on the first date" attitude...as well as the "We're hanging out and having sex but not dating" attitude, or the "We've been hanging out and sleeping together for a while, but we're only dating, not boyfriend/girlfriend." I just find it so hard to understand someone who literally cannot get their head around the fact that I'm ok hanging out and NOT wanting sex. I don't think that way at all. I guess I'm never going to completely understand, in my gut, what happened, not entirely.

[Jester]

No, you won't. And honestly, you can't. See, the problem is you are trying to understand the mindset and reasoning of someone who does things that are foreign to you, for reasons that are equally foreign to you.

Basically, it's like growing up knowing only English, one day getting on a plane to Moscow, and being frustrated at yourself for not having any idea what anyone is saying.

[ADeMartino]

Barracuda, there's nothing wrong with YOU. The problem is with HER. She is what is known as a USER, pure and simple. She's taken advantage of your good nature without any intent of having a friendship with you, let alone a romance. You are (or at least, WERE) her 'plan B' guy - the one she'll call when she needs a favor, or to borrow something, or if there just plain isn't anything 'better' to do. The fact that she'd ditch you without even a call when you had plans confirms this. And odds are, I'll be if you asked around, you'd probably find you're just the latest in a string of 'friends' she's used up and thrown away.

I agree wholeheartedly with what everyone else has told you - you're better off without 'friends' like her. Yes, she played you - and that's a bitter pill to swallow, I know. But know this: SHE wronged YOU. The weird thing is, she might not even realize what she's done - people like that tend to be self-absorbed and oblivious to the pain and misery they leave in their wake. But that's irrelevant; she's POISON and you're far better off having discovered this now rather than later.

I am sorry for what she did to you. It's never an easy experience to go through. But the best thing you can do now is to put her in the rear-view mirror and leave her far behind.

[Barracuda]

Ahhh, the "Nice Guy" syndrome. That makes sense, I've had a LOT of women treat me like that. The last major one strung me along for YEARS. I guess with her I just didn't see the signs, since unlike the last one I wasn't interested in her.