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  • News (update on my previous thread)

    *Figured this was the appropriate place for an update on my previous thread, where I got advice from my fellow members! If I posted it in the wrong place I'm sorry

    So a few months ago, I was having problems with my lazy, borderline-abusive, insecure, child of a husband. You all may remember this thread:

    http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=100188

    After that post, I actually gave him another chance. He somehow convinced me he'd go to counseling, anger management, look for a second/better job, then get us our own place. A part of me didn't believe him, but I wanted to believe him. I was holding on to the hope he'd change back to who he was (or who I thought he was) when we started dating 8 years ago.

    We won about 5,000 dollars (US) in the state lottery a few weeks after that post, which he promised me he'd put to good use. At first he did--bought our son a new crib, other stuff. He said he wanted to save the rest, so he could get us a house. He said the Big Box Store he works for will give him full time plus a raise if he transferred to another store, which turned out to be a lie. So we rented a house, but he lied about where a lot of money went and started smoking copious amounts of pot, ignoring the babies again, and pretty much slacking off, but luckily not getting violent. I then found the rental agreement to the house: He lied about how much rent cost each month, the length of the contract, and found out he had his mom forge my signature on the rental agreement. Everything he told me was a boldfaced lie. He blew the rest of the money on weed, coffee, and cigarettes.

    So the babies and I went to visit my family for the holidays, and decided not to go back.

    I'm not regretting moving into that house with him though: It got him the hell out of my parents' house, made me see he would never live up to any of his promises, and made it easier for me to get away from him. I feel more secure there's about a thousand miles seperating him from my babies.

  • #2
    Sounds like a win all around. He even gets to lie in the bed he made for himself!

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    • #3
      Congrats getting away from him!

      I'd talk to a lawyer ASAP to CYA about the rental house though.
      My NaNo page

      My author blog

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      • #4
        I second the suggestion about consulting a lawyer ASAP ... especially since there's a forged signature of yours on that lease.

        Otherwise, congratulations on your move! I know it can't have been easy but in the long run it will be best for all of you.

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        • #5
          I'd discuss with the lawyer - and the police - how to avoid identity theft with your former husband.

          Your former husband and his mother DO know enough about you to feasibly start an identity theft problem for you. Most likely they'll do it to get money, and tell themselves 'Athaleia won't mind' or 'she deserves it, running out on <husband>'. Or whatever.
          Seshat's self-help guide:
          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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          • #6
            Do consult the lawyer straight away - I was advised to when I considered moving out just to check if anything needed to be said in writing to protect my interests in anything 'marital'. Especially with the issue of the forged signature on the lease too - make sure you have no responsibility to notify anyone of that forgery etc. One thing I would be worried about: My name and signature on that lease and him being irresponsible could mean that I would be liable if he did damage to the property et al.


            However... congratulations.
            I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi

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            • #7
              I'd be a total bitch and call the landlord. "That's not my signature on the lease, they forged it."

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              • #8
                Agreed with consulting a lawyer....also consider a credit freeze to prevent any other identity theft situations.
                I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                Who is John Galt?
                -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                • #9
                  Along with talking to a lawyer about them forging your name, you may want to mention taking the kids (Cause it sounds like you didn't get his permission from your post). That COULD be considered kidnapping.
                  "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

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