Struggling a little mentally right now...

[mjr]

Especially since I saw this article today:

https://www.yahoo.com/now/covid-coul...084337273.html

Thankfully, I have a job where I work remotely for the indefinite future. I'm extremely grateful for that. The above link, however, is really messing with me mentally, and messing with my hope for the future.

I'm in my mid 40's. I've gotten the full, available course of COVID vaccines (two initial doses, plus two boosters). There's an Omicron-specific booster in the works that's supposed to come out in the fall. I know my wife will want me to get it, and she and our son likely will want to get it too.

The biggest problem is that we all have underlying conditions. My son seems content to stay in our house and not go anywhere indefinitely. He even mentions that he doesn't want to go in our back yard (which is fenced in). And right now, we interact with as few people as possible.

I don't really know how my wife feels. I get mixed signals from her sometimes. I do curbside for groceries, and the only time I really go inside a place is when I have a doctor's appointment or need to pick up a prescription. It's really saddening to me. I think my wife understands that. But I don't do a lot of what I'd like to because she requests that I don't.

With the article above, and COVID numbers on the rise in my area, it's really messing with me mentally and emotionally. I've started journaling, and that helps a little. My hopefulness for going places/doing things is seriously waning for the foreseeable future, almost to the point where I don't even think I should really bother even wanting do do any of it. It's almost like I feel like I'm alive but I'm not living. If that makes sense. It actually borders on depressing. And I feel like I can't do anything about it.

I don't want to use the words "giving up", but that's what it seems like I'm doing with most of this. I almost feel trapped. And it really pains me, because I don't see any end in sight, and I don't want to not do a lot of these things for another three years.

Over the past 2.5 years, I've "missed" (i.e. listened on the radio) two seasons of the local sports team. I've wanted to go to baseball games for the local pro baseball team. I've missed a couple of concerts I've wanted to go to, and a couple of motorsports events.

I can't remember the last time we actually went into a restaurant and sat down to eat. The only interactions I have with people at restaurants are drive-thrus or if I'm doing some kind of pick-up, and I'm wearing a mask. When I go to pick up prescriptions, I feel incredibly self-conscious because I am one of the very few wearing a mask in the store.

I'm just struggling with all this mentally right now.

Thanks for reading.

[Victory Sabre]

I don't know if I can help you much, because I never stopped living my life during the past couple of years.

I never stopped having drinks with friends in person, though, sometimes we did have to drive several hours to another state to do so, same with eating in restaurants (South Dakota got a lot of my money in 2020 and 21). I haven't stopped going on my annual fishing trip to Minnesota's Northwest Angle, though Canada hasn't allowed us road passage through, so we've gone by boat across Lake of the Woods (which was a bit dicey this year due to bad weather. We're hoping that Canada will go back to normal travel rules next year). I never stopped spending time with my mom, and family. I never stopped dating, though, finding a decent woman in my age range (I'm 49) is REALLY tough.

All I can say is you, your spouse, and kid have to figure out what is best for your family, and do it, whatever it is. I wish the best for you and your family.

[Ghel]

I get a lot of what you're saying, mjr. I still don't go out much, for fear of catching COVID. My fiancé and I also have underlying conditions that would make COVID worse. I actually had a very mild (symptom-wise) case just after Christmas, but even if it was only that bad, I wouldn't want it again.

I'm still using curbside pickup for groceries, though I'll likely continue that for the convenience even after I'm no longer worried about illness. Cases are pretty low in my area, so that factors into my mental calculus before I decide to go out and whether to mask. Almost nobody is masking in my area any more, but with cases so low, I can't blame them.

If you're concerned that you're not on the same wavelength with your wife about isolating, etc., I recommend talking with her. It doesn't even need to be a "let's sit down and hash this out" sort of conversation. It can be really casual. Communication is important in any relationship, and if this is something that's bothering you, talking about it is even more important.

Good luck, and I hope things get better soon. For all of us.

[mjr]

If you're concerned that you're not on the same wavelength with your wife about isolating, etc., I recommend talking with her. It doesn't even need to be a "let's sit down and hash this out" sort of conversation. It can be really casual.

Another thing that I had to decline (mostly because she wanted me to) was a 4th of July party at an aunt's house. My wife didn't want me to go because it's likely people wouldn't be masked, and "they're (my relatives) not exactly careful".

She asked me if I was OK the other day. I acknowledged I wasn't, and showed her the article. I told her that with articles like that, I really don't see an end to this, and that's leading to my feelings of frustration and hopelessness, because it seems like I'm not going to be able to resume a lot of activities. Although, I'm not sure how understanding of my mental and emotional state she really is, sometimes. The last time I felt like this, I thought to myself, "Why even get the Omicron-specific booster? It's not like we're gonna go out and start doing things anyway."

On top of that, as I mentioned earlier, my son is perfectly content to just stay in our house all the time. So when the time (eventually) comes we're going to have to re-condition him to go out again, too. Which may take a few months.

My wife says that she believes at some point the virus will evolve to be something like a cold or the flu, because that's generally what respiratory viruses do. My response is, "Yeah, but how long is that gonna take? And there's no guarantee it will." We keep this up with boosters, and we're gonna end up having blood in our vaccine stream.

I almost feel in a way like I've had nearly 2.5 years stolen from me. And I hate it.