Coworker just friendly or trying to send signals?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I agree with Jester. You dodged a bullet so be glad for that.

[Jester]

I think you are looking at this the wrong way. You think that it's a negative thing that the guy you were interested in is basically a scumbag. That is true, of course. But you can always look at the positive side of it; to wit, you found out he was a scumbag before anything happened that you would have regretted. In my book, that's a good thing!

[ShinyGreenApple]

Shitbiscuits. I found a mugshot; it's definitely him. This is all really horrifying and disappointing

[Jester]

I think if you just slip it in her locker, she may just not believe it. Personally, I think telling her face to face, calmly and rationally, is the way to go.

"Hey, Mary, I know you were kind of interested in Jim, but I think you should know something that I found out that scared the hell out of me." Make it clear to her that you are not trying to "mark your territory" or anything like that, but are merely trying to give her a head's up on what you just found out. Don't advise her to stay away from him, or to take any particular course of action, just give her the information and walk away. After that, she can do whatever she wants with it.

[ShinyGreenApple]

I'll wait until a photo goes up on the DOC site. Then I'll print it out and give it to her, or slip it in her locker. If I just march up and tell her, I'm afraid she'd get the "Rawr he's mine, stay away!" vibe from me.

EDIT: And holy shit. How on earth am I supposed to tell the nice guys apart from the ones like this? He seemed like one of the cleanest cut people on the crew. I just can't imagine him peddling drugs. I am kind of hurt and let myself have a cry last night. I thought I'd found something good when I really only narrowly avoided a train wreck.

[Jester]

If that was him that was sentenced, I would say it was a pretty good bet that he was flirting with you, and definitely had intentions.

Just not the kind you were looking for, it seems.

[Taboo]

should I let my friend/coworker know?

Only if he comes back, and only if you make sure that it is actually him first. If it is really just a bizarre coincidence, then you don't want to be spreading rumors that could hurt him. But if you can verify that it's him, then I'd say tell only that one coworker.

[ShinyGreenApple]

There's always the off chance that it isn't, but the name matches, the physical description, the birthday sounds about right, I'm 99% sure it's him. And his sentence date was on May 6, and that's the first day he wasn't at work. He never misses work.

Another question though, while I doubt he's coming back to work at all (the supervisor assigned another guy to do his job and said 'you're replacing ___'), in the chance that he does, should I let my friend/coworker know? She was also really into him and I doubt she'd think to look him up on the DOC.

I'm still kind of shocked, since he seemed so clean cut and nice. This was the kind of person you brought home to Mom & Dad, or so I thought. The idea that he was selling date rape only back in February is terrifying. I was willing to work with the fact that he was divorced and had kids, but I draw the line at probation.

[Andara Bledin]

Yikes!

Well, make sure that really is him, and if it is, then just keep on with your work.

But, on the rare, off chance it isn't, you have a few good options.

^-.-^

[BookstoreEscapee]

In that case, I take it back. Don't go for it.

[Cookie]

Holy cow! Soooo glad this didn't go further before you found out!!!!!

[ShinyGreenApple]

Wow. Thanks for the advice guys, but scratch everything. On a whim I went to the FL Dept of corrections website and searched him. The reason he's been absent from work? There is someone with his name, a description that sounds too damn close to not be him, and a bit saying that he was being sentenced on Thursday for attempt to sell date rape back in February.

Fucking hell.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Believe me, I'd have been a lot more forward than I have if I wasn't worried about making things awkward if he's just playing around. We still have to work with each other for at least a month, and possibly longer if the store decides to retain us after remodel, which is likely seeing the stuff they trust us with already. I was actually going to see if he was interested in checking out Iron Man with me this weekend, since he's a movie kind of person, but he wasn't there Thursday or Friday.

[Jester]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: stop trying to read signals. We as humans are bad at sending signals and even worse at reading them.

If you're interested, and it sure seems like you are, see if you can get together with him socially outside of work. See where that goes. Invite him to coffee, lunch, a bar, a dance club, a poetry reading, a sporting event, a party...whatever works for you socially.

Is he flirting with you? Yes. Does that mean he is interested in you romantically? I have no clue. He may be flirting to try to get together with you. He may also just be a general flirt. It's hard to tell. So take the plunge, ask him out, see where it goes. After all, what if he is trying to read the "signals" you are sending?

Think about that.

[ShinyGreenApple]

He wanted to hold your hand. Either he's a Beatle or he's in to you.

I love it. And I'm a big Beatles fan. Thanks for the input, guys! I'll see if I can get there early Monday and chat him up by the time clock again. It's harder once we go on break because of the other three people.