Online Dating.

[Plaidman]

Pretty sure its based more on my delusion of what couples are versus what the realty is. Hell, I still would like the sneaking around to kiss, or the sappy love deal that 99 percent of all teens have gone through. (I know that's stupid).

Basically, I've built up a huge illusion of what relationships are like, and I need to know that they are not anything close to that, and the more I have even causal relationships, the more that illusion breaks down and I can accept the reality of it.

[telecom_goddess]

I think your therapist is a self-righteous buttfuck.

Some people don't get into serious relationships until their mid to later 20s, some people even older than that. Not everyone is great at understanding signals and communicating with others. His job is to help you, not make rude remarks that can be taken offensively. He could have worded that a hell of a lot better.

You are not weird or a freak by any means, just because you weren't dating as soon as you hit puberty. Everyone has their right "time".

Can always count on Blas to say what she really feels

She's right though. I was a late bloomer myself...it happens when it happens.

[Mishi]

Hell, I still would like the sneaking around to kiss.

Wanting that isn't so unrealistic, I'm lucky enough to still have that 7 years into a relationship. I would like to say that relationships aren't always just the physical stuff and the 'infatuation' stage, which I'm hoping is what your therapist was trying to point out. He was rude though, and I agree with what Blas said.

[Seshat]

My relationships are solid foundation of friendship, and a strong affection that is based on who the other people are.

There's very rarely the 'sappy romance', the sneaking around to kiss, and so forth. Heck, (TMI ALERT) my husband is scared to have sex with me because he's afraid he'll hurt me. <--- Highlight to read.

The good side is counting on each other to be there for each other. Except when I'm depressed and insecure and "know" they're going to leave me ... but that's me.

[Solumina]

Sappy romance isn't a teenager thing, if that is the kind of affection you like to show then age should not hold you back. J still does the yawn/stretch thing to "casually" put his arm around me and pull me close and I still quite literally pounce on him and refuse to let go until I get a kiss. Age has nothing to do with it, it just depends on the kind of chemistry you have. Some people are playful, some people are sensual, some people are gentle, but most people are a combination of things to varying degrees.

[Mytical]

Plaid, I am 36..and have had two relationships (both AFTER age 35). One I am just beginning..so don't feel too bad. From what most of the females have said about why they didn't want to go out with me, it was the following.

1) I am too nice.
2) They think I put them on a pedestal and worship them (not true, but can't convince them this).
3) I am a bit old fashion. Even if I told them that if any of it bothers them, I can stop. Yes I try to open doors, I like to be the one paying..BUT (and this is important people) if the woman says "No, we share costs and I open up the door for myself" I am OK with it. (And this is as far as it goes..not old fashion when it comes to gender roles or anything even close to that).

That is just a sample. Though I got told "You are so sweet and cute, but..." a LOT. Hehe. It will happen, when it happens.

[Andara Bledin]

My relationships are solid foundation of friendship, and a strong affection that is based on who the other people are.

This. Infinity this.

I've only been in 2 relationships, and in both cases, I was good friends with the guy before anything came up. I've only had one sort-of date with a guy I was crushing on in high school.

It won't matter how much you love someone if you don't like them, too.

That is just a sample. Though I got told "You are so sweet and cute, but..." a LOT. Hehe. It will happen, when it happens.

Nice guys are hot. I don't know what other women are smoking, but every nice guy I've ever met I'd have totally gone after.

Then again, I'm a massive romantic in some ways, and nice guys tend to do the romance thing more than the tough guys and bad boys.

^-.-^

[Magpie]

2) They think I put them on a pedestal and worship them (not true, but can't convince them this).

The problem isn't that you actually intend to do that, it's that they feel like you're doing it. And it's how they feel that results in it being a problem. (I had a friend who did that to me. A gay guy, but since guys can admit to having "man-crushes" on men, I figured he had the equivalent on me). It's really difficult, because you end up feeling like the other person isn't supporting you.
i.e.

"I'm having a hard time with this."
"Nah, you'll find it easy, you're really good at it." <- my difficulty was ignored.

So Plaid, the take-home from this is, even if you think she's really amazing, listen to her when she has insecurities, and don't just brush them off. If you think that she's being insecure and is smarter/etc than she believes, you can tell her that, but be aware that she will have faults too.

[Plaidman]

So, any girls want to help me with my online personal ad?

I say girls, cause they're far more likely to know what sounds more intresting. -_-.

[trailerparkmedic]

I'll edit an ad but I need you to start one since I don't know you super well.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Sure. But like trailerparkmedic says, you have to start it.

[blas]

Send it this way, Plaid. I'd love to try and help.

But always remember you are great the way you are.

[Plaidman]

I been trying. I keep drawing a blank on how to even start on this.

Any tips?

[Mytical]

Start with the basics, likes/dislikes/hobbies. Of course this advice is from somebody who has 1) Never used a dating site. 2) Has very little experience with dating. So .. take that as you want

[Midnight12]

focus on positive things about yourself.
or try and answer these kind of questions if there is enough room (based of a specific site set up)
- quick self summary what you're currently doing like what you're in college for
- what you are doing with your life or at least currently
- what you are good or really good at talent or hobby wise D&D being a good example or any traits too
- first things people notice about you (in a good light)
- and if wanted favorite books/movies/music/food
- six things you couldn't do without (optional)
- what you are looking for
- and if you want to be messaged why people should message you

i skipped a few things but thats the basis of their profile set up