Rules for Brother in Law

[Imprl59]

Recovering is one million percent right on this one.

Don't let him in your house under any circumstances. Once he's in there is no way to get him out without stressing your relationship and becoming the bad guy of the entire family. Take it from someone who has been there.... when you have a person exhibiting this behaviour they can't just change all by themselves, if he could then he would already have gotten a job to help mom out with the bills. There are mental issues at play here and he is going to need proffesional help to get them resolved.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

And once he's in, he's going to be extremely difficult to get rid of. I mean that legally. Check your local laws. Once someone is in your house, it is EXTREMELY difficult to throw them out, and it does not matter if they have been paying rent or not.

[poofy_puff]

Yea, if you really want to "help" him, find a YMCA or rooming house or something and pay his first month's rent. Then it's up to him to save himself. IN the long run, this will be CHEAPER and LESS AGGRAVATION for you, and no one can say you didn't try to help him. If you MUST take a relative into your own home, consider taking your mother-in-law instead like Rapscallion said.

[Andara Bledin]

And once he's in, he's going to be extremely difficult to get rid of. I mean that legally. Check your local laws. Once someone is in your house, it is EXTREMELY difficult to throw them out, and it does not matter if they have been paying rent or not.

Definitely check the local laws.

I know that for California, you can toss anyone out that is just staying on your say-so. However, once "rent" is paid, then you have to go through a formal eviction process. For here it's a 3-day Pay or Quit notice, and once that's expired, you file the formal Eviction notice, which is 30 days. Once the 30 days are up, however, you can change the locks and do whatever with leftover belongings, and call police if the person tries to get in or won't leave.

^-.-^

[taxguykarl]

The proposed rules are fine--this could easily be the first time BIL has had to cope with boundaries. I've lived in a YMCA and a Red Cross shelter following an apartment fire--both places were at least a stringent as your rules.
OTOH, I am not about to be the mortgage money that this works out. My gut tells me that your BIL will find a way around them (Blas may be right in that respect)--I predict a post like SmileyEagle's in the foreseeable future.
I would ban guests altogether. If BIL can entertain, he can save up for his own place--if he has a problem with that find his own place. I especially like your rule about the drugs. As drugs are a pricey vice, if BIL can find the funds for dope he can damn well find the funds for his own place.

[blas]

I would seriously get a hold of smiley eagle and ask him how he feels about giving people a chance and letting them move in with you, or at the very least, read his thread in Off Topic about the devil child.

[Seshat]

What are your punishments going to be if he breaks a rule? Have you considered that?

[taxguykarl]

What are your punishments going to be if when he breaks a rule? Have you considered that?

First the correction. We all know that the problem child in the OP is very unlikely to keep his end of the deal.

As for a sanction, hopefully the boot...and I don't mean Denver!

[trailerparkmedic]

If he breaks a rule, even once, he's out. He's very lucky we're even giving him a chance.

Eviction is very simple if he hasn't paid rent (not something we expect him to do) and a pain in the ass but not impossible if he has. Husband and I already have a lawyer working on some stuff for us, and he gave us a brief overview of the eviction process.

MIL.... there's a reason we haven't offered to help her financially or let her stay with us. She prefers trying get rich quick schemes instead of working regularly (hence being worried about losing the house). We offered her quite a bit of assistance a few years ago when she started having trouble, but she didn't want to make the "difficult" changes we suggested (getting some training or a job). She's also a hoarder (not as bad as the TV show) and we've got enough stuff in our apartment as it is.

[Seshat]

Right - both of those make sense.

(Speaking of hoarding: I'm proud of me! I've been doing book organising, and duplicate identification. Knowing what duplicates I have will let me eliminate some of my book collection!)

[ShadowBall]

I know someone who is living in a similar situation...guy lives with parents (blood relatives, not in-laws), and he only goes to look for a job when his parents verbally abuse him enough. They threaten to throw him out quite frequently, but never do, which means he's learned that their threats are totally empty and that he can continue his life of ass-sitting and 24/7 video gaming without having to deal with much more than listening to his drunken father scream at him now and then.

I'm not incredibly knowledgeable on the legal aspects of letting someone live with you, but from what I have heard, it can be almost impossible to actually get them out of your house. Even if they don't pay rent or are doing illegal things on your property, it can take months to get them to leave. I personally wouldn't let the guy in, but definitely be aware of how hard it'll be to actually make him leave should he break a house rule.

[Andara Bledin]

I personally wouldn't let the guy in, but definitely be aware of how hard it'll be to actually make him leave should he break a house rule.

It's not that hard at all, if you know the right way to do it.

My eldest aunt had my youngest aunt thrown out of her own apartment.

Then again, my cousin (eldest aunt's daughter) actually moved out of her own apartment to get away from the eldest aunt, and that cousin was the last person in the extended family that would let that aunt into their house.

^-.-^