Talking over me and not saying thanks

[AdminAssistant]

People interrupt me all the time, because I speak a bit slower and tend to take longer to say what I want to say. I think it's rude, but then I remember that it's perfectly acceptable to do that in certain parts of the country.

[blas]

Is there a chance your bf is ADD/ADHD? Before anyone hops on me for making a generalization, I have been dating a guy for a little over 2 years who has ADHD, and one of his worst habbits is interrupting and talking over people. In a way, he has to do it otherwise he will lose his train of thought, but it is quite rude and what he doesn't realize is that if he doesn't learn to control it, not everyone is going to be as patient with him as his friends and I am.

[ShadowBall]

Socializing shouldn't be an issue - he's always on XBox Live or EverQuest talking to people. And I don't think he has autism - he definitely has no symptoms of it.

Trust me, I've been with him for over five years and he is not on his best behavior; he went into the whole relaxed stage a while ago, which is probably why he showers about twice a week (or that's how it smells anyway). I've had a couple stinky friends in the past, so this I can deal with. Knowing how I am, though, he will do all his bad habits on a day when I'm already at my wit's end and he'll push me past my mental limit. This will result in me giving it to him with both barrels, stomping off, calming down, coming back and apologizing for yelling, but saying that what I said was true.

I'll find out if he's willing to at least try to change the way he talks to others. A 'thank you' and a 'please' can go a long way as far as influencing someone's impression of you. Again, thank you all for the advice. I'll definitely be putting it to use and will see what I can do with him and if he's willing to change a little. If not for him, then for me...throw in some puppy dog eyes and promise him cookies or something.

[AdminAssistant]

Hun, I'm not trying to judge too harshly but...

He talks over you (i.e. he doesn't care what you have to say), he's rude (doesn't know basic manners), AND he has poor hygiene????

Honey. Please. You can do better. You shouldn't have to "deal" with stinky rudeness.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Socializing shouldn't be an issue - he's always on XBox Live or EverQuest talking to people. .

That's not really "socializing." Socializing is being around other people, practicing the art of polite conversation. Online gaming might be something he does with other people, but if it's taking the place of real socializing, I would say that's at least part of why he has trouble interacting with others.

[Seshat]

Knowing how I am, though, he will do all his bad habits on a day when I'm already at my wit's end and he'll push me past my mental limit.

This is him intentionally and deliberately giving you the polar opposite of respect.

This is him being intentionally, deliberately awful to you.

Leave him. NOONE who is deliberately awful to you is worth it. Ever.

[ShadowBall]

Trust me, a little stink is fine. Nothing compares to my old roomate's boyfriend who I don't think ever bathed. He was just rank - I would take a whiff of my best friend's feet after they'd been in waterproof boots all day after he took a walk on a 100-degree day than smell this boyfriend of hers.

And he began playing EverQuest when I was in college because he was lonely and he just never quit after I got back home. But I think he sees his game as a job and a social life rolled into one - I know for a damn fact he has blown his REAL friends off for these worthless bastards online he has never even met. He'll always say, "I have to go raid for (important item)." Trust me, I knew he was a gamer when I met him - I am too. That's okay. And I admit all our friends are either busy with work and school or live too far away, so there's not too many folks to socialize with besides his abusive, drunken parents and one of our friends who lives a block away who has an equally uneventful social life. So he doesn't get out much.

I just think, as said, he might be a little dense. Perhaps slightly socially retarded, but not malicious by intention. And if I smell his armpits again, I think I'll cover him in perfume spray; I keep a travel-size bottle in my purse for when I think I start to get a little ripe...hope he likes Sexy Thang.

[trailerparkmedic]

You've told us an awful lot about things you don't like about BF (hygiene, talking over people, playing a game with "worthless bastards"). It might be advantageous to think about the good and the bad in the relationship and see what outweighs what.

[Seshat]

Perfumes don't replace bathing, they just mix the rank smell with the floral.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Perfumes don't replace bathing, they just mix the rank smell with the floral.

Which is even worse than plain stink because now you have two potent chemical cocktails battling it out for dominance, and people who do that usually marinate themselves in the perfume/cologne to the point where it literally makes people around them sick.

[ShadowBall]

I personally don't think any of his habits are deal-breakers yet...then again, I do not intend to ever actually share a living space with this man (another issue), so these are all things I deal with on a weekly basis and that's it.

But next time he asks me if I've gotten his gift or made the cookies he's been begging me for for the last few months, I think I'm just gonna have to be as clear as possible: "I'm a bit reluctant to buy you a gift or make you cookies because you never say thank you for anything and I feel my efforts to make you happy are not appreciated. If you can work on saying thank you, I will consider your wishes."

And absolutely no offense to anyone here who plays an MMORPG like EverQuest or Wow...I just do not have a high opinion of the typical player who neglects life, friends, family, health, hygiene and the real world in favor of some polygons on a screen.

[AdminAssistant]

I just do not have a high opinion of the typical player who neglects life, friends, family, health, hygiene and the real world in favor of some polygons on a screen.

And neither do most of us who manage to play those games and lead happy, successful lives.

[telecom_goddess]

Hun, I'm not trying to judge too harshly but...

He talks over you (i.e. he doesn't care what you have to say), he's rude (doesn't know basic manners), AND he has poor hygiene????

Honey. Please. You can do better. You shouldn't have to "deal" with stinky rudeness.

I gotta agree with this....the hygiene is just the icing on the cake....

[ArcticChicken]

Why the hell are you with this man? Is the sex that good?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You only see him once a week and he doesn't even bother to shower for you?