How the hell do girls flirt?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Lube's not that expensive, mate.

Rapscallion

Dammit! Raps!

[Plaidman]

hey man, I do it free style! Totally free!


and now CS knows way too much about me.

[ShinyGreenApple]

I think it's different for everyone. I'm of the opinion that if the person I like currently hasn't figured it out by now, he's an idiot, but I don't come on strong either. I'll ask him to lunch and the like, pat his arm, maybe rub his back. And my favorite, picking a time when my hands are icy cold and grabbing the back of his neck

[Seshat]

Here's the theory as I understand it. (Reminder: I suspect I'm an aspie. I'm definitely hugely geek. I work a lot of social stuff from theory.)


For both genders:

1. Initial phase
Smile just a little too long.
Stand just a little too close.
Catch someone's eye for a bit too long, especially if an eyebrow is also raised in invitation, or they nod to a chair next to them.
Respond to any of the above signals with similar signals.

2. Second phase
Go to the invited chair.
Talk and sound happy.
Smile a lot.
Touch a lot.
Don't rebuff touches.
Laugh at their jokes/sound interested in them.

3. Third phase
More advanced touching.
More personal talking.
Hugs and/or kisses, even kisses-on-the-hand.

4. Fourth phase
Early making out.
(Beyond this, I wouldn't call it 'flirting' anymore.)


As you'll see, even in the third phase, it could be a very close friendship. It's all ambiguous.

[Gravekeeper]

This thread is a bit of a journey of mystery ( and...whatever Raps is doing. >.> )

Many things are specific to certain people, or gender. However, general indications:

Sustained eye contact. ( With the occasional downward "check out" glance perhaps ).
Mirror actions. ( They mirror what you do at some point after you do it. If they are concentrating on you, they may mirror your blinking as well. )
They turn their body entirely towards you when speaking with you as you are the full focus of attention.
Casual and repeated physical contact ( Touching your arm or shoulder while speaking with you for example ).

These are general indicators of interest that are fairly global to most people and both genders. Anything else is likely more particular to a person or gender.

Ugh, wait, why am *I* of all people explaining this? ><

[shankyknitter]

Because the rest of us need to be hit in the head with bricks? Hell the only time I realize someone thinks I'm cute is when they ask if I'm legal (apparently I look 15. that's a rant for another time) or I get handed the fruit at a theater party.

Damnit we need to make the fruit game more common place. So much easier!

Step 1. Grab a fruit studded with cloves
Step 2. Offer it to person you think is cute
Step 3. They respond in 1 of 4 ways described below
Step 4. Retrieve clove with mouth
Step 5. Hand fruit to other person, they now go follow these steps.

Ways of response:
1. Reject. No kisses anywhere for you
2. Take with fingers. you're cute but I'm not really interested.
3. Take with mouth. Smootches!
4. Female and talented only: take with cleavage. you are motor boating approved good sir or ma'am!

[Amethyst Hunter]

A bit of a caveat to the smiling thing:

I discourage trying to approach a girl if she's working, i.e., at her place of employment. Especially if her job requires a lot of public contact, smiling/friendliness/eye contact is part and parcel of that. I work retail and as such, I'm required to be asskissy (as we retail brethren all are). And as some of us here can attest, being hit on at work is a double-creeper-no-no.

Plus since a female employee *has* to be all friendly and smiley, that'll make it that much harder for you to tell whether or not she has actual interest or is just playing it polite because of her job.

[MoonCat]

This is one I can't answer either. I seem to only give off "come hither" signals when nutcases and creepers are around.

[Solumina]

I'm a total flirt but even I can't give you much advice as flirting seems to be rather different for everyone. All I can say is that if a girl's eyes light up every time that she sees you then there is something there and you should go for it.

[Seshat]

Yes - major caveat on 'smiling and being interested'.

* She may be working/paid to be nice.
* She may be happy, and interested in what you're talking about.
* She may be friendly, but not flirting.

Also, replace 'she' with 'he' and it's just as valid.

[Food Lady]

Compliments. Lots of them. And yes, guys still don't notice. The other thing I do is tease, in a cute, bratty manner. Either way, they don't notice, or they don't let on that they notice. Boys are....different.

[terakhan]

One that hasn't been hit on (pun intended): Showing additional skin (sublety optional). This can range from brushing the hair back behind the ear to flat out flashing you. Also included in this category would be the classic medium-low cut shirt and leaning forward on something while talking to you.

For the guys, this generally is more oriented toward the display of muscle mass (whether or not it is actually there or visible under OTHER types of mass).

[ArcticChicken]

Also included in this category would be the classic medium-low cut shirt and leaning forward on something while talking to you.

Which should include the caveat that people often lean forward on something when they're genuinely interested in what you're saying. I often will cross my arms and lean on them when I'm listening intently to something, which has the unintended side effect of pushing my boobs up, and, since I am well endowed and entirely unwilling to wear a shirt that comes all the way up to my neck, showing extra skin.

[blas]

I haven't flirted in a long time, but whenever I did, no guy ever caught on to it, and when I was just being friendly or nice to a guy, they thought I was flirting or wanted more out of it. So it was a sticky spot.

[Greenday]

Ask and be blunt.

Really, it's the only way to find out. Don't get frustrated when you thought they definitely were and they weren't. Women like to be all subtle and junk even when they "try" so you just need to flat out ask them if they are interested.