When a friend in need becomes draining

[trailerparkmedic]

You know what you are to Needy? A car.

Seriously. Try cutting off her rides and see what happens to your relationship. Having been in similar relationships, I'd strongly suggest taking a 2 week break from driving.

[SuperRTL]

I had a friend just like needy. At one point, she was pissed her husband (of 3 months) wanted to sleep with her so much so, she asked me to fix it . . . by sleeping with him for her.

She called me constantly for rides to work. Asked me to pick up the check whenever we went out (which usually included her brother who is mentally handicapped). She was an alcoholic and insisted on getting beers for her brother who, while of age, has no business drinking. When I got pregnant with my daughter, she called me a slut and I said

She tries to call occasionally but she gets sent straight to voicejail. I still talk to her husband occasionally but he's so miserable, he keeps asking me to be his "excuse" to end the relationship. Sorry, dude, I have no interest in being your mistress

[Jester]

It's just gotten excessive as of late, with her and husband being down to one vehicle she needs rides a lot.

Her problem. NOT yours.

I often jokingly refer to my truck as "Jester's Blue Cab," but if one of my friends starts to abuse that, I remind them that I am not actually a cab....but if they really think I am, it's time to start paying the cabbie.

But if I bother to leave early to help you out, you'd better be for dank sure ready when I get there. Not still getting dressed, not just having lit up a new one, and sure as hell not playing a game on your phone that you can't bear toll leave unfinished.[/quote]

If a friend does this occasionally, it's one thing. If it's a regular thing, I would just leave. (And yes, I've done this.) "Why didn't you wait for me?" Not my job to wait for you, as I'm doing you a favor. You want a ride in my car, you go with my rules, Sponge Bob.

If she's as jealous as I think she is, she might be pissed that I was out with Billy yesterday, and even more upset that I'm seeing Harry Porter with my Mom this afternoon, we were supposed to see it together but. . .

Definitely her problem. Fuck her. She's jealous that you're spending time with people Other Than Her Highness? Fuck her. My mother doesn't even dare tell me who to spend or not spend my time with....anyone saying that they're my friend sure as fuck doesn't get that right. If she even says anything to you about it, tell her to go fuck a rabid goat.

Sometimes I've been known to overreact and O wanted to make sure I wasn't doing it again.

The only one who is doing any overreacting here is your so-called friend.

And probably the goat, but that's just the way the goat is.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Oddly enough, she seemed normal again yesterday actually asked me if I was ok because apparently I was acting not quite normal o_O she didn't say anything about Billy, the movie, or ask for a ride, though thanks to several other techs requestng that he boss schedules me to open more often, it'll be a while before we have the same shift again. But she also didn't give me back the $40 from last week, see if I ever do that shit again! Oh well, Im still going to distance myself from her as much as I can. And FFS I hope someone calls her out on completely blanking out on a convo for minutes at a time to play fucking plants vs zombies. Its really freaking annoying and I'm not the only person she does it to. Put the damn Droid down, for Eru's sake! Oh well. At least I didn't get the third degree like I thought I might.

Now if I could only figure Billy out and find a way to let him know I want more than friendship . . .

[Jester]

But she also didn't give me back the $40 from last week, see if I ever do that shit again!

Suggestion: Tell her you need the money back. Because if you actually wait until she volunteers it, penguins will be ice-skating around Satan.

Now if I could only figure Billy out and find a way to let him know I want more than friendship . . .

1. You can't figure him out. It won't happen.
2. Try being very direct and blatant. And by that I mean grab him by the head and plant one on him. No way he could question your intentions after that....

[ShinyGreenApple]

Would have done Wednesday but his brother was there and that would have been a little weird

[Jester]

What was it that Jack Sparrow said about waiting for an opportune moment?

[ShinyGreenApple]

Yeah, yeah, "That was it". Had my arms around him and everything and couldn't bring myself to do it the worst he could do is be put off me and let is drift apart, but that's better than never knowing, I guess.

[Seshat]

I often jokingly refer to my truck as "Jester's Blue Cab," but if one of my friends starts to abuse that, I remind them that I am not actually a cab....but if they really think I am, it's time to start paying the cabbie.

Heck, I CAN'T drive. (Not safe to do so.)

You know what I do? I live near a railway line. I live within healthy-person walking distance of a shopping mall. If I were able to get a job, I'd get one along that railway line's route or at the shopping mall. I can use my mobility scooter to shop.
(If I were healthy, I'd buy a folding shopping trolley, and walk.)

As it happens, my beloveds do most of the shopping and errands - because I tend to panic attack, and because they can drive and I can't. But in the past, I HAVE lived like that: using public transport and walking.
If I needed to, I could again.

In other words: I agree with Jester. It's okay to rely on friends for occasional transport. It's not okay to rely on them all the time; unless you're family and it's part of the family chores arrangement.

[Jester]

Yeah, yeah, "That was it". Had my arms around him and everything and couldn't bring myself to do it the worst he could do is be put off me and let is drift apart, but that's better than never knowing, I guess.

You'll get another opportune moment. Just don't blow it. In other words, don't be like me.

It's okay to rely on friends for occasional transport. It's not okay to rely on them all the time; unless you're family and it's part of the family chores arrangement.

If you have an arrangement with friends, that is another thing entirely. It's when you don't have a set arrangement and you start expecting the driver to be at your beck and call that you start being a fucktrumpet.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Oh my god, I'm sitting on my tailgate in the dark while she calls friends asking for $250. No, I'm not coughing it up, either.

[Seshat]

And what has she done for you lately?

[taxguykarl]

I had a friend just like needy. At one point, she was pissed her husband (of 3 months) wanted to sleep with her so much so, she asked me to fix it . . . by sleeping with him for her.

OMG!! Where did you find this couple? Jerry or Maury?

When I got pregnant with my daughter, she called me a slut and I said

You turn down an invite to do her spouse and she still calls you a slut?! Imagine if you took her up on that...

I still talk to her husband occasionally but he's so miserable, he keeps asking me to be his "excuse" to end the relationship. Sorry, dude, I have no interest in being your mistress

I would have cut them both off...

Oh my god, I'm sitting on my tailgate in the dark while she calls friends asking for $250. No, I'm not coughing it up, either.

Tell me none of her other friends gave it either Looks like that lady in the OP needs to reset her priorities. If I found myself in that spot the subscriptions and electronic toys would be the first expense cut...but then that's just me.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Well in this instance, she would have had the money if she hadn't gone into Anaphylactic shock last week and ended up giving $300 to the hospital. Then the person she's living with told her the credit card bill (I guess she's paying it in exchange for living there) was a certain amount, then yesterday went "Oh haha, I never got my statement, it's really ___, which was $200 more than friend had been counting on. And it was due yesterday. By midnight. Or friend would throw her out of the house. I was just pissed that I ended up not getting home till 12:30 in the morning.

[trailerparkmedic]

Really? She HAD to give the hospital $300 RIGHT THEN?
There is a law called EMTALA that states that patients with emergency conditions have to be stabilized (at the very least) before billing issues are brought up. I also know from experience that hospitals tend to be pretty forgiving in setting up payment plans.