Scammer Alert

[fireheart]

I don't post this story to make this about me or my grief. It's to show that at least one moderator has gone through the loss of a child. And to point out that nobody is above the rules either here or in a pediatric CICU. Being in a tough situation does not excuse one from the consequences of his actions.

It's sad when that happens, but we can't run a site where everyone who is going through tough times gets a free pass to beg off of our hard-working and (in many cases) underpaid membership. Over enough time that would be...well...everyone here.

My point exactly. We all have different issues.

Look, there are numerous other resources in this world to get help other than this site. Public programs and private charities exist for a reason. Unlike us, they even have the means to determine family income and verify medical conditions to ensure help gets to those who need it.

I've made suggestions that she access these programs immediately. They have made claims that they are ineligible for any form of charitable assistance or public program.

I actually find that somewhat hard to believe that they are ineligible for all forms of help.

[Dips]

Some of her statements point to the fact that she thinks she doesn't have to obey the rules because she's being going through tough times.

And equate the fact that we've imposed consequences for disobeying the site rules with wishing ill on her or her children. That is categorically false.

It reminds me of an incident when my son was in the hospital the last time.

The pediatric CICU at that hospital has about 25 beds (could be more or fewer, I don't remember exactly).

Which means 25 or so families going through exceptionally tough situations.

There were two bathrooms for families to use on the unit.

Our daughter went to use one and had been waiting outside for a while and wasn't sure if someone was in there.

So she knocked on the door quietly before trying it, just to be sure she wouldn't walk in on someone who hadn't locked the door.

A guy yelled it was occupied so she stepped back and waited.

When he finally came out she found that he'd sprayed urine all over the bathroom so she couldn't use it.

Obviously we didn't confront the man or escalate the situation. We just told the staff and let them handle it. They didn't share how they handled it with us, but I know they wouldn't let that kind of thing fly.

What we told our daughter to help her process it and get past it, was that the man was obviously under some stress and forgot that he's not the only person in a pediatric CICU going through a stressful situation (you think? ). Some people just don't think of anyone but themselves and that doesn't change just because they are in a sympathetic situation. Sometimes the sympathetic situation just gives them an excuse to act worse.

I wanted our daughter to be sure it wasn't her fault and that the staff would deal with it and keep the unit a safe place for everyone.

I want to emphasize that at no point either now or back then did we wish ill on the man, his child or his family. We only reported it to the staff so they could address his behavior, which was unacceptable.

Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse and pushed that incident far out of our consciousness at that time. Our son died. He was 10.

I don't post this story to make this about me or my grief. It's to show that at least one moderator has gone through the loss of a child. And to point out that nobody is above the rules either here or in a pediatric CICU. Being in a tough situation does not excuse one from the consequences of his actions.

Nobody here wishes ill on the member or her family. That's ridiculous. We only expected her to adhere to the rules she agreed to when signing up. She broke them repeatedly and got herself banned.

It's sad when that happens, but we can't run a site where everyone who is going through tough times gets a free pass to beg off of our hard-working and (in many cases) underpaid membership. Over enough time that would be...well...everyone here.

Nobody wants to see this site turn into a gauntlet of panhandlers.

Look, there are numerous other resources in this world to get help other than this site. Public programs and private charities exist for a reason. Unlike us, they even have the means to determine family income and verify medical conditions to ensure help gets to those who need it.

[Pimento]

I gotta say. The audacity of this situation totally got me through work today haha

[Mishi]

Will my dressing-down come with a salad, or just the Moobs of Doom?

[dalesys]

... whether it's me or the other fireheart that is supposedly in trouble )

Only your un-evil twin is in trouble...

[fireheart]

For those following the trainwreck, one of the claims is that a different site with a similarly shortened name was involved, not us.

When you're pasting PMs to your blog/FB page from mods from this site, it sort of blows holes in that claim.

Just saying.

Rapscallion

By that logic, there's also two people with exactly the same username on those two sites, both of whom come from Australia
(I am of course referring to me. Which also just makes me wonder whether the comments are intended for me or the other fireheart and also whether it's me or the other fireheart that is supposedly in trouble )

[Rapscallion]

For those following the trainwreck, one of the claims is that a different site with a similarly shortened name was involved, not us.

When you're pasting PMs to your blog/FB page from mods from this site, it sort of blows holes in that claim.

Just saying.

Rapscallion

[Pimento]

Maybe if everyone doesn't cater to said scammer they'll learn that you can't hide shitty behaviour behind a condition and you do have to answer for the things you say and do. No matter how sick .etc.

[Rapscallion]

On that note, has the person in question contacted the MODs recently?

Not that I'm aware of. However, I'm not aware of everything.

Just enough to be a nuisance.

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

I've been trying to think of a way to ask this without trying to come off the wrong way, but I'm just wondering with the above having been said why this thread was even started, or not just locked after your first post? I've read what the other person has retorted as I was following their condition as it interested me from a medical point (paramedic don't have much OB training). I understand why the ban was put in place, they kept breaking the rules. It just seems like this was allowed to spiral out of control a bit with some people just getting down right mean.

Just my trying to understand why this thread was allowed to get to this point.

People were bound to have questions and I'd be willing to answer them within reasonable (and pretty obvious) constraints. It was rather a cause celebre at the time, so I took the view that a release of reasonable queries and the associated tensions was appropriate.

Consider it a pressure release.

Raspcallion

[fireheart]

On that note, has the person in question contacted the MODs recently?

ETA:

I've been trying to think of a way to ask this without trying to come off the wrong way, but I'm just wondering with the above having been said why this thread was even started, or not just locked after your first post? I've read what the other person has retorted as I was following their condition as it interested me from a medical point (paramedic don't have much OB training). I understand why the ban was put in place, they kept breaking the rules. It just seems like this was allowed to spiral out of control a bit with some people just getting down right mean.

From what I've gathered, the reason why the thread was started in the first place was to clarify a situation for people who have read the other pages and got the wrong idea of how CS.com handled the situation. Given that I wasn't even aware that the person in question had been banned until TODAY (I just merely thought that the person hadn't been able to access the Internet), there's a chance that someone who was following the blog/Facebook page could've read the posts in question, jumped onto CS.com and started spewing inaccurate comments at the admins, mods and other members of the site without fully understanding the situation at hand.

In terms of the situation getting out of hand, the comments posted on here have been short, sweet and could not necessarily be construed as mean. Some were clarifying (until they were deleted), while others were just curious about where this is going to lead for the rest of the website. Nobody forced the other person to take comments out of context and turn them into long posts attacking other people personally (example: one short comment I made that was mentioning the fact that we all tried to help them was turned into an incredibly long rant about how I didn't know anything about them or their situation or that I hadn't read their posts. In actual fact, I had and was concerned for them originally. It wasn't until they made the comment about me "running to mummy" that I completely lost all respect for them)

The only comments that could be considered to be potentially mean are iradney's (which is just merely providing facts) and possibly Pimento's at a stretch (I don't know how much of the story he/she knows).

[kpzra]

No details yet, nothing decided.

I'd like to say publicly that I'm grateful for the level of support. Considering the condition claimed to be suffered and the artful way this was presented, I knew when posting this thread that it would likely blow up in our faces. A bad rule of thumb in a pissing match is to go up against those who are allegedly really the underdogs, and then some.

I've been trying to think of a way to ask this without trying to come off the wrong way, but I'm just wondering with the above having been said why this thread was even started, or not just locked after your first post? I've read what the other person has retorted as I was following their condition as it interested me from a medical point (paramedic don't have much OB training). I understand why the ban was put in place, they kept breaking the rules. It just seems like this was allowed to spiral out of control a bit with some people just getting down right mean.

Just my trying to understand why this thread was allowed to get to this point.

[iradney]

I do think it's sad. But I've found that if someone has been caught in a little lie, they'll then make a bigger lie to cover that one up.

I'm glad their friends are supporting them during this very difficult time, but don't they have better things to worry about? I've got friends and family that have gone through life-threatening situations and diseases, and the last thing they cared about was what was going on outside their immediate situation.

Furthermore, they can't even keep their own stories straight. First their FB page was removed by Facebook, but in the very next sentence it was hacked and destroyed. Hang on, which one is it then? It can't be both. Facebook doesn't need to hack pages on it's system. It's daft.

Last, but certainly not least - if you give a friend your username and password to any site, it's your responsibility to make sure they're familiar with the rules. If your friend has your Flickr account details and posts pornographic images , Flickr isn't going to care that it was your friend, it was done on your account and you're responsible for that account.

[Mishi]

@Fireheart: I rated a mention on the blog as well, though not as harsh as yours. It made me laugh, which I'm sure was not the intent.

For the record (and where it probably won't be deleted) - I have a few medical conditions. Those, along with my personal history, are why I have a fair understanding of the public healthcare/human services systems. I know that everyone's situation is different, hence my use of the caveat: "in theory".

@Ree: *massive hugs and much love* You're a wonderful person and I'm glad that you (and the other mods) help to make CS one of the nicest places on the internet.

[fireheart]

No details yet, nothing decided.

I'd like to say publicly that I'm grateful for the level of support. Considering the condition claimed to be suffered and the artful way this was presented, I knew when posting this thread that it would likely blow up in our faces. A bad rule of thumb in a pissing match is to go up against those who are allegedly really the underdogs, and then some.

I think part of the reason why it hasn't blown up in your face is based purely on the way that you have handled yourself compared to the way the other party has handled themselves.

You folks handled it well. They clearly have not. (I don't care how much difficulty you are having, but twisting comments to garner sympathy and making slanderous statements which have devolved into what could be pure bullying, is not on)