Funniest Thing A Customer Ever Said To You?

[South Texan]

When I was working at an amusement theme park, my ride was one that had people get into real boats that held around forty people and floated on a man-made river. They then went through an adventure cruise of sorts involving cannons firing at them, animatronic wild animals growling at them, etc.

One day a woman asked me, "These things don't turn upside down while we are riding, do they?"

I just smiled and told her that that only happened on the special New Year's Eve cruise when the giant tidal wave was released. Her husband got the joke and cracked up. She looked really confused.

[dwasifar]

Sounds like a case of "no fixed abode"...

In this case, since it's Taco Bell, "no fixed adobe."

[dwasifar]

I have the same reaction when people ask me for an "ink pen"

...as opposed to...

They make pens that don't use INK nowadays?

Maybe they think you're going to hand them a playpen.

There are such things as paint pens, but somehow I doubt there's much chance of them being handed one of those either.

[Triaspia]

Big brain burp on my part with this one but it had all my coworks almost on the floor laughing afterwards

me - still a trainee at the time at kfc
ac - awesome customer
mod - manager on duty

me: Hi, how can I help you
ac: Could I please get 2 of those breast fillets you put in the burgers?, like just the chicken no bun or anything
me: sure, just give me a sec to find the button for that (was still learning where everything was on the register), ok and uhhh how would you like your breasts packed today
ac: well a bra if youve got it... but they usually just put them in a box
me: .............. ok
*walk arround the back confused, then suddenly turning very red*
me: oh crap
mod: whats up?
me: ill tell ya in a sec
*grabs fillets and goes back out the front*
me: really sorry about that, been a long day and im still kinda new
ac: thats ok
*customer pays for food and walks off and I go back to talk to the mod*

mod: so what was all that about?
*I tell her of what Id just told the customer and her responce, everyone within earshot was just about on the floor laughing and i was getting redder by the minute*


since then I have learnt not to switch my brain to auto piolet when customers are arround, especially the good looking ones

[BookstoreEscapee]

(
I'd just assume everything was 1 dollar, and then I'd be pleasantly surprised when my bill was lower.

I bought something once that was 2 for $1, but I was only going to get one. The cashier said she could only ring up $1, so I either had to get 2 or pay $1 for 1.

[thegiraffe]

At the grocery store I used to work at, we offered free carryout. My bagger asked the customer if he could help her out to her car, and she replied "nah, it'll be easier if I do it. I have a lot of junk in my trunk."

She realized what she said almost instantly, and we were dying laughing for several minutes.

[SilverOrb]

"My A/C took a poopie."

[mirus]

Birthday

At our store, we have a stupid rule where we have to card everyone, even if they are 80 years old and buying beer.

Of course the cashiers take a pounding for this.

One man, after swearing at me, asked "Why do you need my **** birthday?"

Me: So I can send you a birthday card.

[Plague*Star]

Well, I once pulled-up to a truck and saw a young guy wearing woman's panties and a bra run around the front and into the cab and take-off! Haven't figured that one out yet.

IMHO, sounds like a tranny problem. What a drag.
P*S

[Sparky]

I have the same reaction when people ask me for an "ink pen"

...as opposed to...

As opposed to a pin. Because some people can't hear the difference.

ink pen
clothes pin
pig pen
straight pin
ball point pen
safety pin

In some dialects they all sound the same.

[EricKei]

As opposed to a pin. Because some people can't hear the difference.

ink pen

ball point pen

In some dialects they all sound the same.

True...But here, "ink pen" MEANS "ballpoint pen"

[Ironclad Alibi]

True...But here, "ink pen" MEANS "ballpoint pen"

There is also:

fountain pen
roller ball pen
felt tip pen
drafting pen
quill pen
the Pen
Sean Penn

[Samaliel]

Around here, some people will say "ink pen" when they mean "fountain pen" and a "Bic" when they mean "ballpoint pen". Of course, some will say "ink pen" as opposed to a pencil or a mechanical pencil. Sometimes, you just cannot win.

[Triaspia]

Around here, some people will say "ink pen" when they mean "fountain pen" and a "Bic" when they mean "ballpoint pen". Of course, some will say "ink pen" as opposed to a pencil or a mechanical pencil. Sometimes, you just cannot win.

what if i came up asking for a biro

[Samaliel]

What is a biro? I never heard the term.