Dammit, in this hotel we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

[MrsEclipse]

I once broke an expensive microwave becaus nobody told me you can't microwave dry taco shells in them. Apparently microwaves detect moisture to adjust cooking, and if they can't find any they go bat psycho.

Thing is, I was at least twenty and we had been microwaving taco shells like that for my whole life. This was a fairly new microwave that we'd done this in before. Why did it just break THEN? If you ask me, it's the microwave's fault.

The most hilarious thing I've ever microwaved is Peeps around Easter. I'm not allowed to break things on purpose anymore, so I'll have to wait until I accidentally put a lit cigarette in the 'wave to see ball lightning. Can't wait!

[mattm04]

One of our vendors who does food demos once put a aluminum foil pan, wrapped in plastic in a plastic microwave only once plastic dish in the microwave with fish in it for a loooong time. No own was in the break room or offices. We only figured out what had happen when the fire alarm went off.

The MOD hit the burning remains inside with a extinguisher. And FYI apparently ceiling tiles absorb burnt fish very well. The DM came by a few days later and could smell it had the next day all the tiles in the break room were replaced. Thank you DM for that!

[purplemoose84]

OMG your DM is awesome... ours would probably be like "just paint it with some kilz" b/c he's cheap..... well..... corporate is cheap.... when I was little my sister "found out" that dishes we had the time were NOT microwavable.... lighting in the microwave when 5 is cool lol

[LibraryLady]

This happened to us at home years ago.

There wasn't billowing smoke but it was eerie.

We put a half loaf of bread into the microwave to warm. It may have been a bit stale. When we sat down to dinner we noticed a slight burning smell. As we watched, the half baguette on the table was turning black and beginning to smoke. The thing was burning from the inside out.

Weird .

[Samaliel]

That's how microwaves work : they make the molecules, especially water molecules, "vibrate" from the center of whatever you want to heat out.

I've never heard of such a thing happening but it doesn't seem to unlikely. It must have been really weird indeed. ^^

[Broomjockey]

Apparently microwaves detect moisture to adjust cooking, and if they can't find any they go bat psycho.

First I've heard of that. I've always just known that microwaves (the energy) excite water molecules, heating them, and that's what cooks the food. No water, and the waves don't really get absorbed by much else.

The thing was burning from the inside out.

Weird .

No, sounds about right. That's also how microwaves (the energy) work. They penetrate the food to a depth of 1/2 to 1 inch, which is why you're supposed to only use round microwave-safe dishes, nothing with corners. That way you get even exposure, rather than the double-exposure at the corners.

[SG15Z]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ux8nSWmAz0

Takes about a minute thirty to get to the good part, but it does show you how to do it at home. Which you probably shouldn't.

That's gotta be the most awesomest thing I've seen today!

[mharbourgirl]

No, sounds about right. That's also how microwaves (the energy) work. They penetrate the food to a depth of 1/2 to 1 inch, which is why you're supposed to only use round microwave-safe dishes, nothing with corners. That way you get even exposure, rather than the double-exposure at the corners.

Ever tried thawing a frozen block of butter or margarine in the microwave? Ok, first take the wrapper off because foil and microwaves don't mix. (lots of sparklies, though!)

30 seconds, even on defrost, and it will liquid in the center and still hard as rock on the outside. All those corners seem to confuse a microwave.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I remember accidently putting in a cinnabon in our super vintage microwave for 30 minutes. I was like 7 or 8 at the time too. It was one of those metal dials and I was trying to find the 30 second part...

Charcoal cinnabons are nasty

Someone did this in the kitchen up by my old department (wasn't someone in my department, though, so we couldn't mock them). They put a cinnamon roll in and left the room. You could smell it in our office; it reeked for days and they had to break out the giant box fan (thing is like 6 feet square); I work in a warehouse, though, and there are no windows to open. The microwave had to be replaced; luckily there are three in the kitchen so it wasn't a huge deal when it took them a few days to replace it.

Ever tried thawing a frozen block of butter or margarine in the microwave?

I do this all the time. I knew exactly how long to put it in my parents' old microwave. Can't seem to get it quite right in mine...

[Ben_Who]

We put a half loaf of bread into the microwave to warm. It may have been a bit stale. When we sat down to dinner we noticed a slight burning smell. As we watched, the half baguette on the table was turning black and beginning to smoke. The thing was burning from the inside out.

Could it be possible that there was a large (1/2" or greater) air bubble inside the loaf, just large enough for the inside surface to ignite?

We had a microwave oven in the office that we really weren't supposed to have (some fire insurance thing) and every bloody day, this guy would come up from the second floor and try to set the building on fire with a bag of popcorn. Every. Bloody. Day. The damned thing was that there were FOUR perfectly good microwave ovens in the lunchroom two floors up, but he was too lazy to push the button on the elevator. The first few times I complained, he said, "But that's the AROMA!"

I wondered: is it possible that this guy has never smelled popcorn that isn't burnt? That he's so consistently bad at microwaving popcorn that he has no basis of comparison for getting it right?

One day, he came downstairs with his bag of popcorn (hey, it wasn't his office he was rendering uninhabitable) and I told him, a bit sharply, "Can you do that somewhere else?" (Because I'm the manager, that's why.)

He gave me a look that could have burned a hole in a wall and said, "You know, you're not supposed to have this thing anyway," and stomped off like a spoiled child.

All those microwave stunts on YouTube are reminding me that I have an old microwave oven in the closet that I'm not using...and grapes are, what, 59 cents a pound?

Now, where's that extension cord?

Love, Who?

[Shalom]

First I've heard of that. I've always just known that microwaves (the energy) excite water molecules, heating them, and that's what cooks the food. No water, and the waves don't really get absorbed by much else.

Sometimes pharmacists need to make up ointments from scratch, if you get a dermatologist that has his own private recipes for stuff that's not commercially available. Simplest way to mix stuff in an aqueous base [e.g. Polysorb] is to warm it in the microwave, 15 seconds at a time, until the base is liquified; then you can mix in the miconazole and hydrocortisone powders, or what have you, much more quickly than by standing there levigating it with a spatula, which can take forever, plus you can never scrape all of it off the ointment slab.

So one day I had to make up an ointment with petrolatum, a.k.a. Vaseline, as a base, and tried my usual trick. The stuff refused to melt. I tell you the jar was in there so long I damn near set the label on fire, but the petrolatum inside was still cool to the touch. Eventually I slapped my forehead and said to myself, Idiot, that's non-aqueous, it has a different resonant frequency. You can nuke it in there until the Messiah comes and it'll never liquify...

(I wound up hijacking the toaster oven from the break room and used that... nowadays I don't have access to such, so I just set the jar in a bowl of water and nuke that. Works almost as well, plus I'm less likely to burn my hand taking it out.)

[MrsEclipse]

First I've heard of that. I've always just known that microwaves (the energy) excite water molecules, heating them, and that's what cooks the food. No water, and the waves don't really get absorbed by much else.

That's probably more true than what I said. I'm explaining something I don't quite understand, which was explained to me by someone who didn't quite understand it, who in turn learned it from my dad who is never clear as he thinks he is.

Physics, chemistry, and that stuff is not my area of expertise. It's fascinating, but I can never quite get it. I'm better at "soft sciences."

[Mr Hero]

First of all, props for using a Simpsons reference in the title. Secondly, you should try a bar of soap. It looks cool and your house will smell fresh.

[XCashier]

That's OK. When I was a kid I remember my dad purposely putting a metal takeout conatiner in the microwave to see what happened.

I was a kid when we first got a microwave. I knew about the no metal container bit, but I had a brain fart and put a frozen loaf of bread in the microwave with the twist-tie still on. The bread caught fire and the kitchen smelled like melted plastic for a week!