Not sure where this belongs, but...

[BlaqueKatt]

I for one did not "marry into" my husband's family-he married out of it.

I will not go into details(I have in a few threads before)-but I'll just say, when I met my husband, he honestly beleived he would never amount to anything-four years later-He's graduating from college a year early-with honors, has a job in his field already, has a new car that's almost paid for-and all three of his sisters are getting divorced from their abusive husbands, and his mom may lose the house.

[BlaqueKatt]

Do wait till after you've finished your education to marry, because it will be harder if you don't, but apart from that if you know you know.

actually financially you're better of-my husband's out of pocket tuition dropped from $3000 per semester-to $600 after we got married-they didn't take his parents income into consideration for his federal student aid(you have to be either 24 or married to go off your own income)-so getting married saved us $2400 a semester x 3 semesters per year for his school(accelerated program)=$7200 a year.

[Shards]

On a happier note than this specific thread has seen just about ever:

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of our first date!

[thehippie777]

First of all, Congrats! I do understand a tiny bit of what you are going through. It's obviously not exact.

My parents were very against the first guy I was very serious about. I was 20. At 16 I thought I could be married, and I was serious. I hated living at home. My parents were and are still very conservative. The guy at 20 ended up being a bad guy... I got married to a different man at 22 because I wasn't a virgin & was brought up that women do not have sex with men unless they are married. So I got married thinking our differences would fade. They never did. I left him & got a divorce at 24. After that I realized how much I didn't want to get remarried again for a long time. I now live with the man of my dreams, whom I have also known as a friend for 7+ years. My parents weren't happy that I moved in with him since we had no plans on marriage because we feel we don't need marriage to bind us. I have told them they simply have to accept it, because it is in the end our choice.

I have friends who "got married early", and are still happy together. I reccomend, if you are interested in having kids, not to have kids for a long long time. Get married, sure, but if kids come into the picture too soon...it puts a lot of stress on a marriage that was barely set.

I totally agree with you, however, that her parent's reaction was a bit not "cool parent-like". Something tells me they have a lot of strings that they refuse to cut. I think what you two did was very mature. It's a bit of a terryfying experience when you think something is gonna not go well.

I, personally, found out that marriage isn't what is important. It's a piece a paper most of the time that means little other then a tax-break. It is true honor & a great expression of love to wait, which you two have said you are going to do. There is nothing wrong with long engagements!

So, overall this might be difficult. If worse comes to worse, you could always get an apartment together so that you both can attend the school in a couple years or so. *shurg* That way you are residents but don't have to live in the dorms. Although, finances are hard when you are younger... keep that in mind as well.

Search inside yourself and herself, and have her do the same. If everything is meant to be, it will be. Afterall, I am 26 & the love of my life didn't come back into my life for 7 years. It was worth the wait.