Anatomically Correct (Not Entirely SFW)

[tSubh Dearg]

Hello, long time lurker, first time poster. I used to work retail back in the day and thought I would share a couple of my crazy stories. I don't get so many anymore now that I work in an office of a charity.

This is a tale from when I used to work for a chain that sold lingerie & sex toys, lets call it Anne Winters. I worked in the first branch of this chain that opened in Ireland, which attracted the crazies who would come by to call us Whores of Babylon for working there, but apart from that we didn't get much in the way of SCs but we did get a lot of great stories to share.

One day a couple of African ladies and a husband/partner came in to browse, the ladies were very interested in the vibrators and the following conversation happened:

AL: Do you have any vibrators that look like a black man's c0ck?
Me: Ummm, we have this model here... *shows model called Black Prince*
AL: No, that is not a black man's c0ck, that is a white man's c0ck that is black!
Me: Oh, I'm sorry about that, would you like me to pass on this comment to our HQ?
AL: Yes, please tell them that they need more vibrators that are like a black man's c0ck not just white man's c0ck coloured black.
Me: No problem

While this conversation was going in with the ladies, the husband/partner had hidden himself at the other end of the shop. I think he was worried they'd make him whip it out to show us just what they meant.

I did end up sending their recommendation to our head office, but never heard anything back. The ladies ended up buying our vibrator that had the name Big Ben, which I think you can probably guess the size of.

I still think that is one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had in work.

[EricKei]

Welcome aboard! We've plenty of weird and wonderful (and weird and terrible) stories around here, so enjoy your stay! ^_^

[Silvercat]

... really? How do they look different or should I not ask?

[tSubh Dearg]

Unfortunately I can't answer that question from personal experience but if the vibrator they bought is anything to go by, yes they look a lot different and I'm surprised the husband/partner's trousers fit properly!

Thanks for the welcome EricKei

[PepperElf]

. I think he was worried they'd make him whip it out to show us just what they meant.

If her husband had what she was looking for, I rather doubt she'd be looking for an extra... which may be why he was hiding on the other side of the store.


although, i do know you can have personalized ones made. One of the guys on my first ship found a place that did it and then sent the appendage to his girlfriend. He had a stack of photos of it (and possibly the production process) that he shared with the other guys.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So what she was saying is size matters, but did it in the most reverse-racist way possible?

[tSubh Dearg]

I dunno, I think it's possible the 2 ladies were sister wives and looking for something to keep one occupied while the other was with the husband. It did cause intense speculation amongst my coworkers for next week or so.

[Opalin]

Hm... the only other thing I could think of besides size would be no evidence of foreskin/lack of?

[smileyeagle1021]

There actually is a bit of an anatomical difference between races, I don't remember them all, and I only know this much because, well, porn and google (hey, at least I admitted the porn part)... when erect there is a tendency for African men to be larger, and as a consequence be a little softer and have a slight downward angle, Caucasians tend to be in the middle size wise, in the middle in terms of hardness, and in the middle in terms of angle (literally, the norm is to at least start perpendicular to the body... of course, there is variation amongst those within each racial group, we're talking about the average), and Orientals tend to be the smallest on average (but still more than enough what, I like Oriental men, leave me alone), but are also the hardest and tend to have an upward angle.
And before anyone asks, while looking for something with shall we say gratuitous nudity that involved many races, stumbled upon a medical documentary on the anatomical differences of the male penis in different races. The nudity may not have been gratuitous, but it was very informative

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

IOW, as the great philosopher Beavis once said, the angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat.

[fireheart]

Ok, I think I learnt plenty about penises today...

I'll just leave you with this song...
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PiqCeLEmM
(Somewhat safe for work)

[Pixilated]

... really? How do they look different or should I not ask?

I'm glad you asked because I was much too curious to do so ...

Ok, I think I learnt plenty about penises today...

Uh ... yeah ... wow, I don't remember any of this being taught in my school health classes ...

Thanks for doing the research, smileyeagle!

[Rapscallion]

Thanks for doing the research, smileyeagle!

I think he took one for the team there.

Rapscallion

[Marmalady]

Am I the only one who was reminded of this?

http://youtu.be/taHQxCDTcoI

[tSubh Dearg]

Thanks Smileyeagle, wish I had known that when I still worked there, it would have come in useful.

Fun fact: the Big Ben vibe was originally called the Warrior. They changed its name to sound friendlier. It was as big and as thick as my forearm, there was nothing "friendly" about it!