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Regarding Aliases, my mother in law founded a school for special children, and one day interviewing the parents of a new prospect student the mother refered to her husband ONLY as "The object of my affection" and to her son only as "The fruit of my passion", that is, she ONLY used those phrases to mention them.
I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.
"I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras
Had a girl in the other day who's first name is Mysteria. I just thought that was a very cool name.
I had a Mark Marks come through my line. I couldn't help but say, "Your parents weren't feeling very original the day you were born were they?" He chuckled and said, "no, I guess not".
Me: I'll bet you never refer to high school as "the good old days" do you? [I didn't actually say that]
I had a customer at my old store who's last name was king of long but, I kid you not, the first 5 letters of his name was "Penis". Now, that's a guy who doesn't have fond memories of High School!
"I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"
This wasn't at work, but I remember once watching a "Friday After Dark" smut movie on Cinemax that starred Peter Hard and Lance Boyle. I assume Peter Hard was a nom de porn. However, Lance Boyle is more questionable. If I had that name, I don't suppose I'd want to use it when I didn't have to. But, if was making up a name, I think I'd pick something else. "Hi. I'm Lance Boyle. Meet my step-father, Poppa Zit."
I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler
When I was in middle school, we had a school nurse named Gay Love. I swear I am not making that up. I shudder to think what that must have been like, having that name and working surrounded by 12 year old kids.
Here's a few I remember from my old job:
Erna Finger
Leona Butt
LaJuana Nipple
"Wouldn't that be unethical?"
"That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
--Dilbert
I have met Gerald Ford and John Kennedy (two different John Kennedys, mind you) and had my old truck rear ended by James Woods. Though of course not the famous people of those names.
I have been involved briefly with girls whose last names were Tallman and Small. And had a one night stand years ago with a girl whose last name was Love. (No, not the Gay Love of the earlier post.)
I, and a friend of mine, each separately went to high school with guys named Michael Hunt. Amusingly, in the paper just the other day there was a report of a drug bust and one of the names of the people busted was also Michael Hunt. Seems to be a common name. No comment.
In a short time period after I got to my third high school, I met girls named Faith, Charity, Destiny, and Hope. I took it as a very good sign for my future. All jokes aside, that was the time period where my social life started to improve dramatically (this had nothing to do with the girls mentioned above, though).
I met a girl from Uruguay once named Soledad. It means "solitude." She thought it was a depressing name and hated it, usually going by Sol or Solli.
Speaking of weird name stories, my mom and her only sister each married a man with a last name that is a color. Nor do I mean that part of the last name was a color....each last name was itself a color. Kind of odd. But is anyone surprised that I am from a colorful family? (Sorry, bad joke.)
I knew a girl in my third high school whose name was April May. Her younger sister (do you see it coming) was named Summer. We never did figure out why they named their third child, a boy, Cliff. Speaking of seasonsal names, I have met Winters, a Meadow, and several Autumns.
I have mentioned on this site before about a girl that used to live down here named Sandy Beach.
My sister went to school with people named Michael Crashes and Carrie Dick.
The principal of my grade school was Francis E. Stein. (Frank E. Stein. Think about it.)
I once worked with a girl whose parents names her Dorcus (pronounced, yes, DORK iss). Apparently it's Greek, but still....
Also worked, in the same place, with a girl named Cher (though it was pronounced like the word "sure").
I am sure there are more, but I can't think of them off the top of my head. That and I've been distracted while typing this by "Drop Dead Gorgeous." Freakin' hilarious movie. (And of course it has Kirsten Dunst, which never hurts in my book.)
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